Random

[jane]

Im not good at this..
being depressed hurts.

I have tried to move on..
I have tried not to feel..
I have let myself go...

my heart feels locked.
like a cold tightening breeze..
everything seems different..
like i am looking at the world thru someone else's eyes..
I can't speak
I can't feel a thing.

The numbingness makes the world seem less tragic and far.
To see him ... to feel him..
I can't let myself go there.
It doesnt matter .. even if ... even if.. it would come true.

my mind plays tricks on me ..
the words are playing over and over in my head like a broken record.

I can't understand why things don't even taste the same.
My tongue feels dry and and thick ... stuck to the roof of my mouth...
Crying has made me dehydrate fast.

How did this happen?
How can I go on?
Why? I ask myself over and over.. why ....

[squirrley]

J~you will always be so special to me and no matter what or where you are in life I am ALWAYS here for YOU!!! You are a wonderful wonderful amazing woman...with so much vitality and spice for life...and somewhere in the midst of all these emotions you will get the strength you need to get through this...stand tall my pea!!! TWO PEAS IN A POD GIRL!!!

We will always share that nice little padded room together...K? I promise I will always be here to listen to you...and always be here for you.

YOU WILL FIND THE STRENGTH SWEETIE~STAY STRONG LOVE!!!

I love you...Jane always...