Dumped but I still have to see her everyday

[meko]

My girlfriend and I just broke up recently, it was her decision since she says she doesn't feel the same way about me as before.

I am upset but I'll deal with it. When I broke up with my ex's I would simply cut them out of my life 100% but the thing is that I can't do that now since I have to see her everyday.

We work together and I can't leave my job now since it will be really hard to find a new job during the recession.
We have to hang out with the same friends we had before since theres only the 4 of us and the we're really close friends ( Me her and 2 of our friends. ) If we have to hate each other, it might break up and our group.The four of us have been close friends since high school and we all moved to a new city recently so I really don't know anyone else here and neither does she.

I still love her like crazy but I'm sure she doesn't want me back. I can't do what I normally do and thats cut her out of my life so I have a constant remainder of what I'm missing. Any ideas on what I should do?

[Scribs Girl]

Have you talked to her about it? Maybe the two of you can work it out?

[Friends&Stuff]

I am kind of going through the same thing. All our friends are the same, mine was skirting me though at events, but it still makes it hard to be there with her. I've taken to trying to hang out with our friends individually, and I'm trying to make new friends, so i'm looking for a team to join or a new hobby that will get me interacting with other people. Also I made the choice not to like and not to hate. Which isn't easy but I'm trying to be indifferent, I know that's weird and probably hard to do but if we're gonna be passing each other all the time I have to do it. If I like her then that will create a want; a want to hang out, a want to talk, a want to do things together. I can't live wanting for something I no longer have or can have. But I can't hate. Hate is easy, finidng annoyance in their behaviour and words is simple, you can twist anything so easily, but the problem is hate consumes. And I don't want to be consumed in something so dark and I really don't want that brushing off on our other friends. So I have to be indifferent, I have to be civil and congenial, but I don't go out of my way to talk to her, if I hear she's having problems I don't get involved, I listen to my friends tell stories, but I never bad mouth and I never ask questions, I just listen. It seems to be better. It's taken by the way like 2 months to get to this point and this new enlightened indifference is only about 2 weeks old but it's working so far. It's not easy but at some point seeing her will be like seeing just some acquaintance.

That's my adivce. Try to make new friends, join something, so you can get away from her and have friends that are just your own and try to be indifferent for a while so you don't still want for her and you don't end up being comsumed in a hate for her. And try to find things you and your friends can do that doesn't involve her. Not that you don't invite her but if you like football and she hates it invite a friend to a game, she won't show because she doen't like it and you get to do something you like. This way you're limiting the amount you're around her.

[alovehangoverr]

Just because you have to see her and be around her.. doesn't mean that for a while you can't take some time off from it.

I realize you don't want to break up the group friendship you have-- and you won't have to. I'm sure the other 2 people involved will understand why you don't want to hang out for a while. Just let them know that you need time to heal and let things go, and trying to be in a tight knit friend situation with her right now would hinder that.

As for at work-- keep it casual. Yes, you'll see her.. but you're not required to be anything but polite to her.

[CocoChanel]

That is true. I would branch off and make new friends. Find something else to do and let your other friends know what the deal is. Let them know that you are not neglecting them but you need time away from her to move on and find you someone better.

[Illusional]

you should do what ever other man does when this happens.. you'll deal with it and take it like a man.

raverboy