Did we make a mistake?

[julie]

By giving up too soon?

Its killing me...

My boyfriend and I of six months broke up because we keep fighting. We are both 30.

We never fight over anything big, but little fights turn into huge fights. He is so defensive and I am always asking questions.. Our communication has always been a problem. We've reached the breaking point so many times and then tell each other we will work on it. It has been nothing but work for the duration of our relationship. We cant have a normal conversation anymore, it seems like all our fighting has us both walking on egg shells.

We decided to break up a week ago because we just couldnt take the fighting, but we still love each other so very much... SO MUCH.

We come from completely different backgrounds too... He hasnt traveled much, doesnt have a college education, has a small family and doesnt have many hobbies...he has a daughter and never married.

I am the opposite. I have traveled the world, am a college graduate, have a huge family and have tried many things. I have no children and never married.

We are so different, but I love him so much.. I really really miss him.

I feel so empty without him, but dont want to go back to the fighting.

Am I a fool for giving up? Should we try again and work on communication? Or just leave it be since we are so different? Sometimes I feel like we made the right decision because it seems we arent compatible but it hurts like hell to not have him anymore.

He is having a hard time too because he has been sending me flowers and calling and texting me. Last night we decided to just give it time.

We have also decided to seek couseling on our own to work on ourselves - which was a decision we made due to one of our many fights... he saw his therapist on wednesday, I saw mine last night.

This has been such an intense and heavy relationship so far, but even if we broke up a week ago, I dont feel any better... I am so confused.

[lesa]

It is a six-months relationship and you guys constantly fight over small stuff? No, there was no mistake in ending it sooner rather than later.

You both may have feelings for each other but deep down you know this will not be a healthy long term relationship.

[IndiReloaded]

What you miss is the relationship itself. Not one specifically with him. Six months is crazy to be having issues like this. Sometimes, its a square peg and a round hole. No point in forcing the fit. Learn what you can and move on. Good luck.

[Indignant]

We never fight over anything big, but little fights turn into huge fights. He is so defensive and I am always asking questions..

We come from completely different backgrounds too... He hasnt traveled much, doesnt have a college education, has a small family and doesnt have many hobbies...he has a daughter and never married.

I am the opposite. I have traveled the world, am a college graduate, have a huge family and have tried many things. I have no children and never married.

what kind of questions are you asking that annoy him? how often?

what backgrounds are both of you from?

how did his therapy go?

[GemStar]

I hope this doesn't seem all too simple... But I've been going through tough times with relationships, etc. And here is the secret which helps me the most:

Being totally calm about it, relaxing, thinking clearly, not letting your emotions be in the driver's seat when it comes to your thoughts. I think about my inner-peace several times a day if not more than that... I keep in mind to be cool or I won't be able to think rationally. Freaking out will get you nowhere. Then you DEFINITELY won't be able to figure it out. Be cool. Like the Fonz.