Can't read this girl I previously hooked up with. Advice needed.

[jfoster]

So I went on holidays with a big group of people and met a girl in the group through a mutual friend. We became friends. The same group of people hung out after the holiday when we were all back home, at the very end of the night she offered for all of us to come drink in hers. I was the only that said yes. We got pretty drunk and ended up having sex.

We messaged each other quite a bit after, joking how we are now in a relationship because of that night. I live in a different country and invited everyone from the original holiday to a house party I was throwing. She was the first to reply that she would come. Eventually everyone decided to come bar a few.

In the meantime, a video went online of her fairly cosy with one of my good friends. No idea if they hooked up.

So the day of my party arrives and I’m getting a distant vibe from her, anytime I’m around her she moves off to another group of people or if I sit down beside her she moves soon after to sit beside someone else. My mates are telling me to go over to her the whole time saying it’s definitely on for us to hook up. I eventually go up to her (Shes pretty drunk at this stage) and we hug then I joke about us being bf and gf. I then kiss her. She then holds my hand and we and a few others decide to go into the club (we’d been planning this a while). When in the club we dance fairly intimately for a couple of minutes then she grabs a friend of mine and dances with him (just casually) for a bit. We go up to the smoking area and I take a seat beside her, within 2 mins she gets up and sits beside someone else in the group. As the night went on this happened more and more, any time I was near here she would leave to talk to someone else or show affection to a different lad in the group I was with (shes getting more and more sober at this point). I planned to just get to the point with her so when she walked by me I asked if she could come over for a sec, she said she was just on her way to grab something in the room adjacent. When she came back she just went straight to a different group and starting interacting with them again.

I was getting the hint now at this point and just left her alone / didn’t bother talk to her at all, all the while we’d catch each other’s eye across the room quite a bit and we’d both look away straight away. She was cosy with the same guy I saw she was in that video with but they didn’t kiss or anything, just got the feeling they are just good friends now but maybe she fancies him, I’ve no idea. So the parties over and she flew back home.

I’m completely lost on what to make of it all, pretty sure she’s simply not interested. I want to send her this message. Is it a good idea or should I save a bit of the awkwardness, read through the lines and accept we wont be “more than friends” again at some point and just move on. On the flip side I just want to be straight to the point, man up and ask her, none of this playing games if thats what it could be. I'm probably wrong though.

Below is the message I want to send her...


Hey so I know we were completely pissed “that night” I was back at yours, I obviously fancy you, but nothing too serious. Sorry if I’m making it awkward but just want to make it clear that based on last night that it was just a drunken one off happening and nothing more!! Am I right!?
*based on last night - being the house party

[Wakeup]

I obviously fancy you, but nothing too serious

If I got something like that from someone I'd block and delete him so he could go onto hookup with someone who didn't want "nothing too serious."

If she wanted you "not too seriously," she had every chance in the world to have you that way.

Here's my suggestions: If you want to have more then a "one off" then ask her out and if she says "no"
or ignores your ass then pretend she doesn't exist and it will be obvious that it was a "one off" without contacting her with that kind of question. If she says yes, then before you fk her again tell her "nothing serious" then and make it clear if that's what you really want otherwise it's unfair to do her while making her think you want more.

Question: Just what do you want with this girl? Do you actually know?

[basilandthyme]

You don't need to send that message - I'm pretty sure she knows it was a drunken one night stand. Besides, the two of you live in different countries, so it's not like a serious relationship is on the cards.