Technically speaking: was this wrong, or did I have a right regardless?

[LadieNisha4u2nv]

Ok so I think I'd rather be honest and say this is about me.

So I dated this guy before my ex(who I found out after dating him was my ex's friend which sucked) and he turned out to be such a ****ing asshole. He always put me down in front his friends to make himself look good. So after I decided not to put up with it anymore I broke up with him. I easily got over him cuz I seriously didnt love him. So about a month and a half down the road, my ex and I started dating(he asked me to be his girlfriend on his graduation night when we went out). So the other guy found out we were dating, and he suddenly wanted to try to make things better. He was constantly down my neck asking me to go back with him and telling me how sorry he was for treating me so badly. I kept telling him I moved on and i dont want to be with him anymore I already found someone who respected me. He even went to an all time low of plain out asking Clinton if he would break up with me so he could have a chance. I thought that was mega insane. So Clinton and I had gotten in an arguement about how this other guy was interferring with our relationship and it was pissing him off. I understood completely, but then I had heard some stuff from the other guy that he said that Clinton had said(he sent convos). When Clinton was confronted, he didnt have anything to say, so I was pretty much pissed. So we broke up and in all honesty I swore we would never get back together. So the same night we broke up, the other guy had messaged me and asked me what was wrong, and I told him me and Clinton had broken up. So he took this as an opportunity to start trying to talk to me, and I told him it'd just be a rebound thing and he said we'll work things out. I started thinking about all the shit he did just to try and get back with me and said ok I'll probably give him another chance(One of my problems is I always give chances even to people who dont deserve it). We had a very long conversation about it. So I was ready to give in and said well whatever. The next day, he asked me to send him some pictures(he had went away to the states at the time). So I had on a t-shirt and a regular underwear(nothing sexy) and posed and sent him some pics and sent him a message saying "Dont forget what you have home". Then shockingly, Clinton came that night and apologized about how things happened and he said he wanted to be with me. Seeing as I still had feelings for him I said ok we can. I had told the other guy I was working things out with Clinton instead(remember I had already told him in advance he'd just be a rebound).

Ok, now later down the road in December, Clinton and I had exchanged email passwords(bad idea). We ended up arguing about shit in emails. So one morning I woke up to a conversation with Clinton cussin the hell outta me. He said he saw the pics and saw who they were sent to. He was mega pissed and stopped talking to me. I was apologetic to him for the past at lest 7 months(he held this grudge against me for an extremely long time, I wouldnt be surprised if he still is holding on to it). But I talked to a couple people, and only about two people thought I was wrong.

Now this is what Im trying to get. Technically speaking, I did nothing wrong. Why? Because we were no longer together. There is no time frame between when you can move on or not. I agree completely that the timing was very ****ed up, but my intentions was never to hurt Clinton. Clinton made me feel guilty about it for soooo long and I always had been apologizing to him like I was sooo wrong. The way he started acting, you could've sworn I ****ed someone else, which I never have done. I talked to my 34 year old brother about it when I went to Georgia this year cuz I wanted to hear it from an older person's perspective. He told me I was not wrong because I was not with him. End of story.

So what are you guys opinions? Aside from the timing being ****ed up, was I wrong? Do you think I deserved to be treated differently?

[ecojeanne]

i'm confused, i thought clinton had another girl who IM'd you from his place and that you broke up....are you back together?

with having a child you need to be careful...as you already know i'm sure. forget about both guys and focus on yourself for a while. it doesn't sound like either guy are good enough for a good decent relationship anyway...whether you were right.

[LadieNisha4u2nv]

No this happened last year....this happened a long time ago. I just wanted you guys' view on this situation

[ecojeanne]

well 'technically' (but is a VERY fine line) you were right....altho you had just broken up with clinton and you were then sending a pic in your underwear to another guy the next day...i can understand why he flipped....but why think about it at this point?

[misombra]

eh don't worry about it. if he didn't want you to give pics of yourself to others then he shouldn't have broken up with you. guys get bitchy and pissy about shit like that.

i think you need better taste in guys tbh.

[LadieNisha4u2nv]

eh don't worry about it. if he didn't want you to give pics of yourself to others then he shouldn't have broken up with you. guys get bitchy and pissy about shit like that.

i think you need better taste in guys tbh.

I know, right? I've been so much less picky about who I date because I always felt that alot of people deserve a chance and its always the assholes who gets the chances. The one's who say they arent like the rest instead of showing it to me. It's really annoying. I havent had much of a certain expectation from guys and I think thats part of the problem. Lately I've been saying I expect certain things from guys from now on, such as they must have a car and must have a job. Sounds kinda bad right? But thats the thing, those were things I didnt require and I still got treated like shit. I would have to find my own way around with past guys because I didnt have certain expectations and settled for guys without their own way of getting around and their own money. I've noticed the girls who expect these things from guys are the ones getting the good guys, so i figured it is worth a shot. I want to be a golddigger(LOL), but I dont have the heart to do so. Shit, when I go to the movies I pay for my own shit or if I'm hungry and broke I'd rather just starve before asking any guy for money. Only people I could easily ask for money is my parents, but no one else. I dont know I just feel weird asking a guy for money, but so much girls that have materialistic expectations are the ones happy isntead of girls like me who try to do what they think is right and show that its not all about material things. I'm a bit confused and I dont know what to do about relationships in the future.

Really, I dont want a relationship right now. I guess when I'm ready I need to move from St. Thomas and try a state side guy. The guys down here all basically have the same mentality, and it is horrible. Besides, its a small ass island with not much to choose from.

[LadieNisha4u2nv]

well 'technically' (but is a VERY fine line) you were right....altho you had just broken up with clinton and you were then sending a pic in your underwear to another guy the next day...i can understand why he flipped....but why think about it at this point?

As I stated, it was ****ed up timing. But I thought about it cuz I was thinking back on everything that ****ed up our relationship and this was a big part of it. I'm not over him Eco, I'm still thinking about him and wishing it had worked. I really REALLY loved him. It's just something I wanted other's POV's on cuz I really wanted to know how wrong I was for doing it.

[ecojeanne]

oh ladie, he was a bad guy. i can understand. for your own sake forget about him and what went wrong. i felt sad like that recently too, i had a good cry and now i feel so renewed. i always knew it was right to break. it's hard to focus on that when you probably feel lonely. just do whatever you need to do to stop thinking about it. focus on improving your life and finding ways to get out of your situation right now.

try to find a way to better yourself...not that there is anything wrong with you as such but think about your future and what you want.

[LadieNisha4u2nv]

Oh, I'm recovering. I didnt finish high school, but i didnt give up. I'm going to night school (adult school)and I'll be finished in December so I've felt pretty excited. Part of why he's still on my mind is cuz he volunteered to carry me home one of the nights (My father works at night so I had to find other people to pick me up.) and I dont have enough people in my life that drive, so I have to see him at least once a week for the next couple months. I dont wanna be with him anymore you know, I just wish he was a better person. I'm just wishing lol. But I'll be over him soon enough. I already got over the crying stage, I dont cry over him anymore. I'll always love him, but I've got my own life to continue, and I've got dreams to fulfill. I'm moving to Georgia to start going to college for fashion designing. I'm looking forward to a better future for myself, and so far so good. I'm pretty damn happy now, and I've only cried yesterday because it was tears of joy cuz I've finally given myself hope of becoming a better person.

[ecojeanne]

ladie that is so cool! good to read that

[LadieNisha4u2nv]

I'd still like a guy's perspective on my thread though. Put yourself in his position and let me know if I was wrong por favor.

[Zilla80]

I mean I would be pissed off.. but like someone said if I was the one who broke up with you there wouldn't be much I could say about it.

I'd still be pissed that you didn't waste no time after we broke up.

I'd be pissed at the situation and it would show me what kind of person you were but technically speaking you were single and free to do what you want.