Tiay update!

[Tiay]

wow, has it been a while or WHAT? How is everyone? someone please give me an update in a nutshell?

I haven't been very good with keeping in touch with those of you who have mailed/messaged me outside the forum and I apologise. It's not because I don't want to talk to you guys, quite the opposite.

so.. um.. yeah, a lot has happened, I guess. Travelling, studying, and oh yeah went on a bit of a heart breaking spree. well, sorta.
Finally got down to kissing an actual Irish guy or two. Isn't it a bit surreal that the nationality of people I've kissed in chronological order (and incidentally also sorted by distance) goes like this: American, German, Briton, Irishman (I'll get to those later). I wonder if this expresses some kind of subconscious preference on my part.

so as you may have deduced, I broke up with my bf. Yup, 9 months and 14 days ago. Doesn't that just say everything? And I haven't even seen him in more than a year. I didn't exactly have much of a choice...
I loved him and still do. I would have done anything. And indeed in retrospect that is why I stayed till the bitter end; to make damn sure I had given it every chance I could. But the final straw was the way I was dismissed when I wanted to talk, and the way he went after what he knew were my hot buttons... When I said 'look this is driving me nuts, can we talk about this to resolve it?'. I was made to feel bad for asking. I was told to "distract myself" so that I wouldn't have to think about it.
I saw then that wasn't anything more I could really do.

then things got a bit nastier. I mean sure if someone breaks up with you I think you have the right to get a bit angry and to want to show that the other person wasn't perfect either... But it was like I was being torn to shreds. Finally I said something along the lines of "ok lookit. You have the right to make a rational argument, but here's my version of events- accept it or never hear from me again".

That seemed to do the trick. Last I heard he was saying that we're on more of a 'break' but we haven't talked in ages. Hindsight really is 20/20. I see now how much he lived by what his friends/family said. This really explains why he had always criticised me about how I interacted with his friends, which just made me more shy around them. The last time I talked to him, he had moved out of NY to study, and all he talked about was how people were different and how that was affecting him.

Last summer I went on a sunny all inclusive holiday to Turkey with my German friend. A few of the nights there we got nicely drunk by the pool and analysed the hell out of everything. He had just broken up with his girlfriend too, so we kinda helped each other out. On paper he's the perfect guy for me. I honestly don't know why I can't, try as I might, make myself feel that way about him.

Well, then I got into online dating, and I visited this really *really* sweet guy in the UK. I had a great time. But again, no real chemistry.

After that I met a guy at the college gym, hereafter called mark the first. He's the type who's in the gym for at least an hour a day. Very yummy. And we talked for hours and he just seemed really nice and not like most guys. We hung out a bit but then he got really busy and "didn't have time" and I don't know if it was because exams were coming up or because he didn't like something about me or something. He mentioned something about it being complicated, so who knows if there was somebody else. eh, that was before xmas.

how was everyone's holidays??

the week before last I met mark the third (yes, there was a mark the second, but he was online so I never really met him). Anyway, I've just had the best two weeks. We dated... actual dates - he bought me actual drinks. He listened to me.. and he has the cutest face in the world. ever. I stayed over at his place twice. We didn't have sex but we did enjoy ourselves, which is kind of a big deal to me.

And then he moved away to the UK . which I KNEW was going to happen, of course. But damn it, it was worth it. I'm not sure you could really call it a relationship. But he did say he was going to be back in the country in a month so we might meet up then. not sure what'll come of it yet and I'm trying not to get overly attached.

I'm afraid that I still compare everyone to 'the ex'. it's been 17 months since I saw him in person and I still think about him. It has gotten better with time, though.. I just have to keep reminding myself that I had good reasons for ending it. I keep thinking that maybe I never deserved him in the first place and so on. Bah. But generally i've been, well, I wont say downright happy, but pretty content, anyway. I wish the good catches weren't so damn rare and hard to spot.. and moving to other countries... The kicker is that mark the third was living almost next door to me for about a year.

in other news, I'm in my final year now! And I just finished my thesis, which makes me very, very happy.

[vashti]

Hey, girly! I was thinking about you recently, wondering what's been happening with you. Sorry about your NY boyfriend. Overall, would you say that you regret your time with him? I am guessing no. It seems that even though it ended, you learned a lot.

[Mish]

wow, has it been a while or WHAT? How is everyone? someone please give me an update in a nutshell?

Yay, she's back!

It was good to hear about your ups and downs. Sorry to hear about your ex. Give it more time and he'll be out of your mind.

In a nutshell:

Scorp went awol due to pressures at work after financial crisis.

Giga got hitched

Indi moved to Australia, claiming both to stay here forever and one day return to Canada

lilwing became Doppleganger

Tone became Zilla80

RSK disappeared, then came back again and I think disappeared again

A few things happened to a few others and we have a few more cool new regulars.

[Tiay]

awww, I missed you guys!

Hey, girly! I was thinking about you recently, wondering what's been happening with you. Sorry about your NY boyfriend. Overall, would you say that you regret your time with him? I am guessing no. It seems that even though it ended, you learned a lot.

same, actually! I hope you've been well
I see your rep has.. um.. gone up..
a lot.

No, you're right, I don't regret it. I guess some experiences you just have to make yourself. And the first cut is the deepest and all. I still harbour the idea that one day we might somehow find each other again.. It's just weird to break up with someone over that distance because it feels like just another gap between visits, and all the memories of actually being together are these perfect windows of happiness that are just a plane ride away.

but screw it, mark the third made me realise how suddenly and easily it is possible to begin to overwrite all that.

Yay, she's back!

It was good to hear about your ups and downs. Sorry to hear about your ex. Give it more time and he'll be out of your mind.

thanks Mish! I'm glad to be back. How's you?

In a nutshell:

Scorp went awol due to pressures at work after financial crisis.

oo, yeah, I thought of him when I heard the news.

Giga got hitched

ah yes
I miss giga.

Indi moved to Australia, claiming both to stay here forever and one day return to Canada

woah. I was not expecting that

lilwing became Doppleganger

Tone became Zilla80

what, they thought we wouldn't notice? jk. good to know!

RSK disappeared, then came back again and I think disappeared again

A few things happened to a few others and we have a few more cool new regulars.

thanks for the nutshell

[DoesntMatter]

Isn't it a bit surreal that the nationality of people I've kissed in chronological order (and incidentally also sorted by distance) goes like this: American, German, Briton, Irishman (I'll get to those later).

Your list is in descending order by rank of awesomeness. You might want to check and see if your standards have been slipping

But yeah, anyways... how's it hanging? (I'm talking about your D-cups)

[Gigabitch]

Hello, lovely! Way to stack up the Marks, Tiay. I tend to do that too. I've had three Mikes, three Matts, two Erics and two Davids. it really cuts down on the likelihood of calling out the wrong name in the throes of passion.

I'm glad you finally decided to give your own brand a try. How do the Irish boys measure up? (or do you still consider German to be your brand?)

What are you going to do when you're finally done with school? Are you coming to New Mexico to go camping with me and Misombra?

[DoesntMatter]

What are you going to do when you're finally done with school? Are you coming to New Mexico to go camping with me and Misombra?

Count me in. I'll try to wrangle me a 4-way

[Gigabitch]

Dude, you have enough built-up juice to handle an eight-way.

[Lite]

Dude, you have enough built-up juice to handle an eight-way.

You'll have to keep reminding him. He's suffering from MSB and it is making him incapable of learning at this point.

[Tiay]

Your list is in descending order by rank of awesomeness. You might want to check and see if your standards have been slipping

But yeah, anyways... how's it hanging? (I'm talking about your D-cups)

aw, you remember. True, I think my standards have dropped a bit. But that's ok, because they started out way too high.

Hello, lovely! Way to stack up the Marks, Tiay. I tend to do that too. I've had three Mikes, three Matts, two Erics and two Davids. it really cuts down on the likelihood of calling out the wrong name in the throes of passion.

I'm glad you finally decided to give your own brand a try. How do the Irish boys measure up? (or do you still consider German to be your brand?)

What are you going to do when you're finally done with school? Are you coming to New Mexico to go camping with me and Misombra?

Giga! How have you been? what'd I miss?

ah yes, god bless them, the common names.

Well the first mark was a bit weird. He's this very muscly guy with stubble and short hair, so you'd somehow image that he'd be kinda gruff or jock-ish... But then he'd put on his glasses and talk about the morals in star trek. Apparently he'd never had a girlfriend, but he seemed to be plenty good at the kissing, so I don't know what was up with that, and I guess I'll never find out. I met him just the other week at the gym but he acted like nothing had happened... so.. *shrug*

and mark the third... oh, I really like him. Though, that might be cheating a bit on the "irishness" as he lived in the states when he was little. He's also kind of an unusual guy for me to like, because, being brutally honest, he just isn't as athletic as my ex or mark the first or even mark the second, judging purely by photos though. But for some reason, I still found him insanely attractive. Especially the face. Wow, the face... He just had a sort of confident, 'i'm taking charge' kind of air about him.
So yeah, I really missed him when he left. He said he'll be back in a month or so though. No, my ex didn't really spoil LDR's for me. But generally i'm not dying to jump into anything serious at the moment so it's ok.

so yeah, irish is a good brand. hard to find the good, non-alcoholic ones, but great when you do

I just walked a hottie home from gym today (yes yes, the gym again, I know, but damn it, where else can you find toned guys?)... or more precisely, we walked to his home and then realised that we both needed to pick up some groceries so we did that together. He's yummy. He is Turkish though, and i'm told Turkish guys generally view women as not having equal rights..? I'm not sure how dating/courtship goes in their culture..

ah damn, I don't think I'll ever have loyalty to any one 'brand' at this rate.


as for the camping, is that an invitation, giga? I've been meaning to do more travelling.. and I like the sound of camping, though I never really have been camping.
oh, though I'll need money. brilliant economic time to be finishing college, of course... just my luck.

Dude, you have enough built-up juice to handle an eight-way.

ah, yes, I definitely have missed you, giga. Can I get that on a shirt?

[IndiReloaded]

What happened with that psycho stalker guy in your dorm? Did someone finally kill him?

[Junket]

The f*ck?!

[Junket]

Sorry, I just wanted to establish a post before you ran off again.

Damn, so I guess you have no more reason to come back to the states?

I shoulda came up to NYC when I had the chance!

I don't know if you remember her, but I met Squirrely, she's the middle aged woman from Florida with the crazy 18 year old who was gonna join the military but then didn't want to.

...

Anyway, it's about damn time you came back, are you sticking around?

[Tiay]

What happened with that psycho stalker guy in your dorm? Did someone finally kill him?

hey indi no, he's still there. He smeared the front door of my house with rice just the other day. ( long story, he's crazy )
But the good news is that this year i'm living with different housemates who are a lot better at locking the door and not letting people in, plus the bolt on my door.

Sorry, I just wanted to establish a post before you ran off again.

Damn, so I guess you have no more reason to come back to the states?

I shoulda came up to NYC when I had the chance!

I don't know if you remember her, but I met Squirrely, she's the middle aged woman from Florida with the crazy 18 year old who was gonna join the military but then didn't want to.

...

Anyway, it's about damn time you came back, are you sticking around?

Fras! what's up??
and how's your paper-cut eye..?

ha, I remember. and, yes, you should have! But that's ok My ex invited me to visit him in new haven, but i'm not sure about that yet. We'll see.... maybe I should do a tour of the states sometime.

I think so. I'm probably going to need a lot of dating advice, after all. I'm rusty on giving advice though.

[Only-virgins]

Yea welcome back. I didn't read you long boring story but yea...welcome back.