am i crazy or is she ?

[dumbfounded]

now i feel as ifthis might sound stupid but here it goes.every year a group of guys come to work here for the summer.they work outside and you see them all the time just driving around town.everytime me and the wife drive by she would say"those guys get so many girls when they come up here and they all have familys at home.they are dogs.she would say this almost everytime we drove by them.i thought it was weird.i had suspicions(why i won"t say)but i asked how do you know?and she would say 'cause i heard or i just know.i had a weird feeling about this.this went on for years 20-3o times probably over the years and i would always ask "how do you know they're dogs"and she would always answer because she heard or she knows.i don"t know why i always asked the same question"how do you know but i did"(maybe not trying to be too accusing...i don't know)then i find out that she was one of the girls(before we were together)but i still feel lied tobecause i asked her so many times.if she would have told me the first time...no big deal....but i feel lied to all these years because its been an ongoing thing.she says she didn't know the guy was married at the time and she stopped seeing him befre she knew so thats why she never answered that she was one of the girls.and also that i never actually asked her"did you see one of the guys.i feel i've been lied to all these years (lie of omission)she says i didn't ask the right question.all those times.needless to say big fight occuredBIG....i feel lied to all those times and she says she never lied because i didn't ask specifically if she was with one of them even though everytime she mentioned about how they have girlfriends here and are married with kids back home amd i asked her how she knew she used to be one of them.now i feel like i can't trust her.i'll have to ask her a million freakin questions because if i don't ask the exact right way i won't get a truthful answer.almost got divorced over this one lol(actually not really lol)

[vashti]

I think you are grossly overreacting. Sorry. Why not leave the past in the past? Oh, and really - you shouldn't ask questions you don't really want to know the answer to.

[Gigabitch]

She mislead you, even if she didn't "directly" lie. It causes trust problems. I'm sure that's what your problem is, not the actual subject of the omission.

I totally get that. Why couldn't she just come out with it? Clearly, she wanted you to know or she wouldn't have brought it up so many times.

[alovehangoverr]

I agree that the past should be in the past and honestly.. it seems like it got blown out of proportion.

Maybe she brought it up because she still has some bitterness/anger towards guys who do things like that. Maybe she was embarrassed to admit that she had been one of those girls. Who knows?

As for her "lying by omission" -- if it was someone before you what obligation does she have to tell you about it? Have you told her every single person you have ever been with/interested in/etc? Probably not.

Let it go.

I don't see how this can affect your marriage at all. She slept with someone who turned out to be married before she met you. It has nothing to do with you.

[Game Begin]

ohhhhhhhhh God
why are not doing Good
what you mean and how you think it is very easy for a women to easily share you these things with may be she dont want to loose you that why she hesitate to tell you
you never notice that she told every time that these guys are dogs means "she realized her mistakes"

so plz trust her ok and this is of course if u ask specifically you will get answer specifically this is what we learned in our schools
ok so chill