sex in general

[Pietomb]

Hello,

I just have a few questions about sex in general really. They're just questions and i'm not planning on doing it anytime soon, yes i'm a virgin and so's my gf, so please no "if you're asking this you're not ready for sex" thanks.

First off, what do people mean by being "ready" for sex?
Like i said above, people say that but what do they actually mean? emotionally ready? surely if you love the person you're with then that's sorted. Ready for the potential children? If you think about it, a mix of contraceptives are going to remove that, along with good timing of the month. And ready for any diseases, well they can be checked for and pretty much prevented can't they? What else is there? (i did have another but i've forgotten it)

Also, all those who don't want to have sex before marriage, why?
Non-religious people, what are your reasons? is it just a way to show self control. And religious people, well not all, i'm sorry but i can only refer to chrisians here, so christians, why not? the bible does not directly say it. It talks of sexual immorality, but if it's just with one person, and the one you love then surely that's not immoral? That goes for non-religious people too, what if it's with the one you love, why not?

What is the big deal about sex anyway? if you're not doing it to produce children then why is is such a big deal about doing it with anyone? Is it just the way we're brought up? if we were taught that holding hands was more intimate than sex, wouldn't we all look on that as something u did in private? And why is there such a big deal made about it? is it not just another way to express feelings for another person? or just to have fun, as it is meant to be enjoyable isn't it?

And finally, why do people see virginity as such a big deal? it's not often, i don't think, that people end up with the person who they lost their virginity to, so why make it seem so important? It's not like it's something physical that you're going to feel lost without, or become ill from.

well if you got this far thanks, answers to any of those questions would be really appreciated.

[Junket]

I'm glad you're asking these questions, I just don't have the patience right now to answer them all.

[Yggdrasil]

OK.. there we go: if you're asking this you're not ready for sex

LOL, just kidding.

First off, what do people mean by being "ready" for sex?

People have different ideas about when it is acceptable for a couple to have sex. This is a personal choice that each person makes depending on her/his own attitudes, morals and beliefs. There is no magical age or number that can tell you when you should start having sex. Unfortunately, many people engage in sexual intercourse before they are ready. This can lead to unwanted pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and feelings of guilt or regret.

Also, all those who don't want to have sex before marriage, why?

For all kinds of silly reasons: religion, belief they should keep their 'innocence' for that one 'special person'.. again, it depends on whom you ask.

What is the big deal about sex anyway?

Sex is great, if you have a great partner. It's like the ultimate expression of love. Sex isn't about yourself, it's about telling your partner how much you love him or her. Of course, for some, sex is just.. sex. Again, opinions differ depending on whom you ask.

And finally, why do people see virginity as such a big deal?

Virginity is hugely overrated and imprinted on society by the Victorian Age. It was socially imprinted then that a woman had to be chaste and 'pure', hence, a virgin. Before that, in medieval ages, people did live together before they got married. It was pretty common to see a pregnant bride in front of the altar. Again, opinions will differ depending on the person.


In short: where does all this come from: society, peers, parents, stigmas, taboos, you name it.

[Pietomb]

I would love to hear any answers you might have time to five frasbee.
And thanks very much yggdrasil so it generally based on external influences.
Looking forward to any other answers

[bluesummer]

First of all, being 'ready' for sex means something different to everybody. I had some friends figure they were ready because they were drunk. For me, it was being in a long-term, fairly committed relationship, aware of the consequences and prepared to take the appropriate precautions.

I don't understand the concept of no sex before marriage. Sexual compatibility is a huge part of a successful relationship. Don't buy the cow until you've tasted the milk.

Sex is a pretty big deal when you're with someone you love. It's the most intimate and pleasurable thing you can do together. I can tell you right now, sex with someone you don't care about vs. sex with someone you love is completely different. When you're with someone you truly love, it's 1000x better, and it helps strengthen your connection.

I don't understand the big deal about viriginity myself. I think maintaining it while you're young is important only because teenagers tend to make poor decisions on having sex the first time. They also tend to be suprisingly naive about the consequences. Otherwise, virginity is nothing special.

[Pietomb]

Thanks bluesummer, "Don't buy the cow until you've tasted the milk." that made me chuckle

[Rollerderby]

Ok, as someone who lost their virginity to a guy she wishes she hadn't, I can say that virginity never seems like a big deal on that side of the line. It's something you almost prefer to ditch, but it sounds like you really love your gf, and she loves you, which is really the best way to loose your V-card.

Ready for sex, is emotionally ready. If you guys are under 16, (and that's the earliest I would ever say to loose it) you have not gone through enough puberty yet where your brain chemicals are actually starting to settle. Sex can consume a relationship, and could make you two very attached at the hip. For her especially because women's brain's release Oxytosin, which is released during sex and during childbirth.

They say you get the strongest dose, sexually, when you have it the first time.

Being ready, means that if something goes wrong, you don't run for cover. It's good that you want to use contraceptives, but what if something happens anyway? Are you prepared to be a father? Are you prepared to possibly take her to the abortion clinic and watch her go through something like that?

No one is ever really ready for that. And thinking way too much about it takes away from the blissfulness you should experience.

I think you might be in an ideal situation to loose it to each other.

[Gigabitch]

I think you're ready for sex if you're ready to deal with the consequences, whatever they may be.

[Pietomb]

thanks you two aswell
Rollerderby not sure where u got that i love my gf and she loves me from but you're right, very much so. Don't thik i'd ever be ready to take her for an abortion but then i dont know what my reaction would be.