Make me pay coz I don't want you wasting time & money becasue I'm not gonna be yours

[Lostalien]

I actually like a girl who's from Ireland and I already invited her to go see a show this weekend. She keeps asking me how much is the ticket and I just say don't worry.... I think she wants to pay me because she doesn't want me taking her to a lot places using my money which is something that I'll do to seduce her (dating).... True??? If she asks for me the price is she telling me: I can't be your girl, so don't pay for my ticket, I'll pay for mine???? What you guys think??????????????


Ah! If you guys don't get my idea, let me know.

[vashti]

She might be worried that you will think she is a gold digger, or she might not be interested in more than friendship.

Did you ask her on an actual date?

[GrkScorp]

I think she wants to pay me because she doesn't want me taking her to a lot places using my money which is something that I'll do to seduce her (dating).... True???

It boils my blood to hear you use "seduction/seduce" incorrectly.., over and over and over again.. seduction starts from arousal/teasing.., to foreplay.., and transitions into sex.., paying for her date in no way fits into any of those three.., unless you think she finds this to be some huge turn-on in some way..

Now.., let's talk about what her refusal to see you spend any money on her.., could mean.., and most likely means..

Woman-at-the-bar Theory:

Let's take an average guy.., let's make him asian.., yes.., he's an average asian.., an average man of asian persuasion.., and for this example.., his name is Mai Wang.. So.., Mai Wang goes into a bar.., and notices a good-looking woman sitting at the bar.., he stands up slowly.., and starts to talk to her.., here are the different things the woman can do:

- Ignore him
- Snubs him (fcuk off! get lost! stop talking to me! do we know you? etc)
- Talks to him

The first two cases are actually not that interesting.., that just means that the guy approached in either a very (pushy, desperate, needy, creepy) way.., or that the woman in question has issues.., in which case.., she has done the man a favor.., (though they may both think otherwise).. but what happens when she is talking to him.., and the idiot/moron/loser offers her (at random: before she did anything to earn it).., "a drink"?

- She can refuse and reject the drink
- She can accept the drink.., and then snub him or flake on him
- She can bait him to get her a drink.., and then snub him or flake on him

What I find most interesting.., is how the following are ordered (starting from the most lady-like.., and ending with the more immature.., insecure.., validation-hungry b*tch you can think of).., yet most guys are so offended by the first one.. let's ignore the other two.., because quite honestly.., we don't care about them for the purposes of your question..

Why would she reject the drink?

- She is not attracted to you.., and wants to avoid the uncomfortable feeling of feeling obligated to be a certain way with you after accepting your nice gesture
- She is attracted to you.., but doesn't want to feel like a woman who is using you or wants you to buy her a drink so she can show you what she's all about (she doesn't want to feel cheap)
- She is attracted to you.., and can pay for her own drink herself.., she's an independent woman who doesn't want to feel like you're being her daddy and she is expected to assume the role of a little girl who sits by and accepts.., given that.., if she makes it clear that she wants to pay.., and you do the mistake of pushing and insisting on paying.., she will find this very insulting to her character..

A lot of guys.., find this insulting.., they feel like the woman has just rejected his offer.., and is being rude.., Goose suffered from this problem.., he wouldn't understand that the woman had just done him the favor of saving him the money he would have spent on her..

If a woman is not attracted to you.., and you make an offer.., she doesn't want it.., you might as well just give her your money.., she doesn't want a drink.., $12 is a lot more useful and valuable to her.., but some women actually have class.., manners.., ethics.., and morals.., yes.., i know.., hard to believe.., but they're out there.., and considering the psychological frame of mind it would take to come into such a forum.., you can make a safe bet that there is a selection bias.., and that this forum is very very rich in exactly those kind of women.., if you're a jerk.., like Mike Hunt.., then they'll "punish" you by accepting your drink.., and having you waste your money.., only to snub or flake on you later.., but if you're a nice guy.., like Mai Wang.., genuinely good-natured women will not want to see you waste your money on them.., so they will do you the favor.., and reject your offer.., letting you know.. (i'm not attracted to you.., sorry.., it's not your fault.., but you're not a jerk.., and I do respect you.., enough to not want to see you waste your money on me)..

Now.., don't forget.., it can also be the case.., that she really is attracted to you.., (we don't know that.., not enough information.., even though.., given that you believe that this is what's considered seduction.., i'm willing to wager that she's not exactly too attracted to supplication.., and she's tried to make it as clear as possible to you that.., "I can't be your girl!" (not attracted to you).., "so don't pay for my ticket".., (I know you're a nice guy.., and I have enough respect for you.., to not want to see you waste your money on me).., that's what it sounds like to me..).., but hey.., you never know.. but at least now you know all the reasons she may be doing what she's doing..

Best,

GrkScorp

[Mish]

I think she wants to pay me because she doesn't want me taking her to a lot places using my money which is something that I'll do to seduce her (dating).... True???

It sounds like she doesn't want to feel obligated to you. Perhaps she doesn't want to owe you one. A lot of human interactions are transactional, maybe she is of impression that she will still have to pay you back "somehow". And that "somehow" can be a scary thought.

Though, why would you want to pay for her ticket anyway? Personally, I don't think I would accept someone else buying me a plane ticket, even if it was the most beautiful woman in the world. I wouldn't want to feel like I'm in someone's pocket.

[lastwish]

If its a date, pay for it. If not, you don't have to. She doesn't want to look like she is using you but if its a date, you should be a gentlemen and pay for her ticket.

[Gigabitch]

She doesn't want you to see this as a date. End of story.

[Lostalien]

I'm not that pessimist ;p

[Lostalien]

She doesn't want you to see this as a date. End of story.

I'm optimist ;]

[Lostalien]

She might be worried that you will think she is a gold digger, or she might not be interested in more than friendship.

Did you ask her on an actual date?

She might be. I'm not an English speaker, so what's gold digger???? I see this as a date. At the show we can have fun together you know.

[IndiReloaded]

Am I confused or you guys just don't understand antecedents. He's not buying her a plane ticket. Its a show ticket. The fact she's from Ireland is just extra info.

I think? Otherwise, I want a boyfriend like you. Will you get me a ticket to Papeete while you're at it? Thanks.

[vashti]

She might be. I'm not an English speaker, so what's gold digger???? I see this as a date. At the show we can have fun together you know.

A gold digger is someone who is more interested in the contents of your wallet than you.

And what I wanted to know is whether or not SHE will see this as a date? Did you refer to this as a date (to her)?

[Lostalien]

She might be worried that you will think she is a gold digger, or she might not be interested in more than friendship.

Did you ask her on an actual date?

It boils my blood to hear you use "seduction/seduce" incorrectly.., over and over and over again.. seduction starts from arousal/teasing.., to foreplay.., and transitions into sex.., paying for her date in no way fits into any of those three.., unless you think she finds this to be some huge turn-on in some way..

Now.., let's talk about what her refusal to see you spend any money on her.., could mean.., and most likely means..

Woman-at-the-bar Theory:

Let's take an average guy.., let's make him asian.., yes.., he's an average asian.., an average man of asian persuasion.., and for this example.., his name is Mai Wang.. So.., Mai Wang goes into a bar.., and notices a good-looking woman sitting at the bar.., he stands up slowly.., and starts to talk to her.., here are the different things the woman can do:

- Ignore him
- Snubs him (fcuk off! get lost! stop talking to me! do we know you? etc)
- Talks to him

The first two cases are actually not that interesting.., that just means that the guy approached in either a very (pushy, desperate, needy, creepy) way.., or that the woman in question has issues.., in which case.., she has done the man a favor.., (though they may both think otherwise).. but what happens when she is talking to him.., and the idiot/moron/loser offers her (at random: before she did anything to earn it).., "a drink"?

- She can refuse and reject the drink
- She can accept the drink.., and then snub him or flake on him
- She can bait him to get her a drink.., and then snub him or flake on him

What I find most interesting.., is how the following are ordered (starting from the most lady-like.., and ending with the more immature.., insecure.., validation-hungry b*tch you can think of).., yet most guys are so offended by the first one.. let's ignore the other two.., because quite honestly.., we don't care about them for the purposes of your question..

Why would she reject the drink?

- She is not attracted to you.., and wants to avoid the uncomfortable feeling of feeling obligated to be a certain way with you after accepting your nice gesture
- She is attracted to you.., but doesn't want to feel like a woman who is using you or wants you to buy her a drink so she can show you what she's all about (she doesn't want to feel cheap)
- She is attracted to you.., and can pay for her own drink herself.., she's an independent woman who doesn't want to feel like you're being her daddy and she is expected to assume the role of a little girl who sits by and accepts.., given that.., if she makes it clear that she wants to pay.., and you do the mistake of pushing and insisting on paying.., she will find this very insulting to her character..

A lot of guys.., find this insulting.., they feel like the woman has just rejected his offer.., and is being rude.., Goose suffered from this problem.., he wouldn't understand that the woman had just done him the favor of saving him the money he would have spent on her..

If a woman is not attracted to you.., and you make an offer.., she doesn't want it.., you might as well just give her your money.., she doesn't want a drink.., $12 is a lot more useful and valuable to her.., but some women actually have class.., manners.., ethics.., and morals.., yes.., i know.., hard to believe.., but they're out there.., and considering the psychological frame of mind it would take to come into such a forum.., you can make a safe bet that there is a selection bias.., and that this forum is very very rich in exactly those kind of women.., if you're a jerk.., like Mike Hunt.., then they'll "punish" you by accepting your drink.., and having you waste your money.., only to snub or flake on you later.., but if you're a nice guy.., like Mai Wang.., genuinely good-natured women will not want to see you waste your money on them.., so they will do you the favor.., and reject your offer.., letting you know.. (i'm not attracted to you.., sorry.., it's not your fault.., but you're not a jerk.., and I do respect you.., enough to not want to see you waste your money on me)..

Now.., don't forget.., it can also be the case.., that she really is attracted to you.., (we don't know that.., not enough information.., even though.., given that you believe that this is what's considered seduction.., i'm willing to wager that she's not exactly too attracted to supplication.., and she's tried to make it as clear as possible to you that.., "I can't be your girl!" (not attracted to you).., "so don't pay for my ticket".., (I know you're a nice guy.., and I have enough respect for you.., to not want to see you waste your money on me).., that's what it sounds like to me..).., but hey.., you never know.. but at least now you know all the reasons she may be doing what she's doing..

Best,

GrkScorp

You diserve my respect man man ;] Really intelligent

[DarkDwarf]

Now.., let's talk about what her refusal to see you spend any money on her.., could mean.., and most likely means..

All of.., these.., period-period comma.., things.., hurt me..,

But good advice and an interesting analysis nonetheless.

[Lostalien]

Am I confused or you guys just don't understand antecedents. He's not buying her a plane ticket. Its a show ticket. The fact she's from Ireland is just extra info.

I think? Otherwise, I want a boyfriend like you. Will you get me a ticket to Papeete while you're at it? Thanks.

hahahahaha Not a plane ticket!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Show ticket!!! Hey, who are Papeete???????????????

[Lostalien]

A gold digger is someone who is more interested in the contents of your wallet than you.

And what I wanted to know is whether or not SHE will see this as a date? Did you refer to this as a date (to her)?

Actually yeah This is a date at a show ;] W e may eat something after ;]