Break up advice... is it over? Please help!

[ArBR82]

So my girlfriend and I decided it was time to take time apart. After 4.5 years of dating, she told me that "it feels like we're just friends"... this was during a make out session before we went to bed. I was unhappy with the relationship torwards the end as well. It didn't hit me until a few days later, and then I spent the next few days locked in my room crying. We talked a few times about what was going on, and I told her I couldn't talk to her for a while. I gave it two weeks and asked her to dinner. We talked afterwards for a couple of hours, and after I poured my heart out and told her that I want to try and work things out and I truly do love her, she decided that she wants to go on one date a week for a while. It's been almost 2 months, and we're still in this gray area. We're not kissing, no sex, not staying at each others houses, but it's getting reallllly hard to not be able to tell her I love her, or kiss her good night... and she doesn't realize what type of torture im putting myself through. But I feel like I have to wait this out to find out for sure. Is this just a waste of time? I don't know what to do. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

One more thing, I'm terrified of the thought of knowing that she could be with another guy. I'm not a violent person or anything, but I truly am afraid of how I will react when the day comes I find out she is with another guy.

[bluesummer]

How old are you guys?

I went through the exact same thing, when I was 22....had been dating the same guy for almost five years. I realized one day that he felt like more of a brother or a friend. We tried to work it out, but we'd outgrown each other and eventually broke up.

I won't lie to you, it hurt like hell. I was inconsolable when I found he was dating someone else. It took me a long time to get over it. In hindsight, though, it was the best decision ever.

The way I see it, once you start having those feelings like you're 'just friends', you're probably done. You may love each other a lot, based on your time together, but you may not be right for each other anymore. You may just have to face up to reality.

[Lite]

Sometimes people change or outgrow each other. It is disappointing when it happens, but it's a basic fact of life.