Having insecurities in relationship.

[DivaAlec]

Hey guys,
So I have been with my boyfriend for about 2 1/2 months. There is a 20 year age difference between us, but we seem to be on the same maturity level and are into a lot of the same things so we it works for us. We have moved very fast, which I know isn't healthy, but we just had such a strong attraction to each other when we met that we almost couldn't help it. When we first started out, he was totally crazy about me. To the point that it actually overwhelmed me and I had to tell him to slow down a little. Anyway, he ended up giving me the key to his apartment and I spend most of my time over there, we are together everyday. Well now I almost feel like the tables have turned. He used to tell me all the time that he loves me, now I don't hear it as often, and he doesn't seem to make over me as much as he did. Things just seem a little different. I had written him a note Friday morning before I left his house (he was already at work) telling him how I felt and asking him if he was losing his feelings for me and if he needed some space. He texted me that afternoon telling me he still felt the same and that I shouldn't think any different. We had a great night together and everything felt fine. The next night we went out to a bar, and again I was starting to feel insecure about things. So, when we were in bed that night I brought it up again, he said everything was fine between us, that we don't have to tell each other how much we love each other 24 hours a day and that he wants me to relax a little more. He told me that he will tell me if he loses interest or isn't happy anymore. I understand what he is saying, and I understand that when you move as quickly as we have, that things kind of go into comfortable, relationship mode and that the honeymoon part of it ends faster. We do have plans to go spend 3 days at the beach together next week, and we are already making plans for Thanksgiving, I feel he wouldn't talk about future things with me if he didn't intend to be with me in the future. So part of me is just wondering if he has gotten comfortable with things and feels secure in my feelings for him now. But I also wonder if he is in truth tired of me and needs a break, just a few days or something. I don't really know what to do or what to think, we both want the same thing and I do really love him. I feel that I have put it out there and given him the chance to go if he wants, and that maybe I should just trust what he is saying and be cool with it. So, what do you guys think? Anyone dealt with something like this before?

[Toxic106]

Yeah. Dealt with it before. Insecurity sucks. I used to have some insecurity problems. But to be fair, she DID break up with me because she liked someone else and tried to be fair to both of us. We got back together 2 days later. I was insecure for about a month. Constantly waiting for her to say I love you. (My first relationship). Constantly telling her I love her. I was so scared of loosing her. All the time. She assured me everything's alright. That she loves me. So... after a while. I was fine. I became less insecure.

I guess what I'm saying is, this 'insecurity' problem will go. You have to trust him. He hasn't lied to you yet so why doubt him?

[lahnnabell]

We've all dealt with the end of the honeymoon period before. You guys started out really fast, and burnt out on each other equally as fast. So, it's not a surprise that you're already feeling comfortable. The seemingly endless supply of lust does wear out over time as you settle into a routine. If you want to put a little mystery back into the relationship, you should probably see each other a lot less than every day. Spend more time with friends and doing other activities. If you don't, then one of you (or both) WILL begin to feel smothered and that will likely lead to the demise of the relationship. You can't be with each other 24/7 without getting sick of it (at least most people I know can't).

And 2-1/2 months in is really soon to be making such heavy future plans. I think you guys should really focus on the NOW.