Your Advice, Warning Long

[PhillyOrion]

I some advice, Please Help:

I am currently a Junior in college, and I have been dating my girlfriend since I transfered to this college. I met her the first weekend here, which was her first year in college also. (AKA I am a Junior and she is a Sophomore this year).

Anyhow We met the first weekend here and I asked her out the second week here. We have been dating ever since, with a few rocky roads along the way. To date we have been dating a year and 2 months. So anyhow about 6 months into our relationship around Valentines Day, I could tell something was on her mind, something was going on. I had an Idea this guy that lived down the hall from her had something to do with it.(They where kind of friends not really) I confronted her about it, and asked if she had feelings for him.

She told me "She met him the first few days here before meeting me, and kind of had a little crush on him then." I asked if she still liked him " And she said "She didn't know" and started crying and all. Well i told her " She needs to figure things out and all, before our relationship progresses." Well the next day, there was this Extra Credit Concert for Music majors on campus, and she had preplans to go with that guy to see it. ( As friends I assumed, and she told me a few days before the issue). Well she goes to this concert thing on campus, and something didn't feel right while she was there. I didn't trust her, I didn't feel right. So I went back to my room, when she got back to hers. Got on my computer, loaded up this program called VNC, which allowed me to access her computer from mine. I wanted to leave her a message that was cute and all.

Well when i loaded it up, I saw her talking to that guy. And she said something along the lines of " I am sorry if my holding your hand and rubbing your leg in the concert made you feel uncomfortable." Well I walked right to her room, flipped out on her and told her we were through."

Well I went for a walk and she came and found me an hour later. And we talked and decided we needed a break, and that we didn't want to break up. Well we had a 2 week break, that was not really a break because we were all over eachother at the time. But she needed time to think about what she was doing and all. Basically messing with my head, but she had a few things she needed to clear up at home with her Theropist. Because she has been in many long term relationships in the past and wanted to talk to her Theropist to make sure she didn't jump into them for comfort of not feeling alone.

Well we got back together everything went well, she talked to that kid every so often from what I know. But about nothing pretaining to that night or their feelings. Well summer came and that guy went overseas for schooling. And now this year next semester he comes back and is coming back to this school.

I am kind of worried, should I be? Do I have a right to be? I trust my girlfriend, just not with this guy. I feel like he is her weak spot or something. I was hurt very badly in the past, and it took me forever to forgive her in a way. Can someone give me some advice?

[Lloyd95]

Paragraphs are your friend.

[Tone]

And Lloyd is my friend.

[PhillyOrion]

Thanks, But please some advice instead of just posting

[TAVS]

Sorry Philly but it hurts my eyes to read that

[Lloyd95]

Thanks, But please some advice instead of just posting

I advise you to make your post more pleasing to the eyes; you'll get more responses that way.

[Junsui]

That's a tough one. It's shitty that she was flirting with some other guy when she was with you, but at the same time it was shitty for you to go onto her computer like that. I would assume her "relaltionship" with this other guy would be over by now. There isn't much you can do, but just trust her. You can't try to keep her from talking to or seeing him.

[PhillyOrion]

yeah well, they don't really talk, they usually just have small talk. She has promised me that. And when they do talk its like once every 2 weeks or once a month. I just don't want to be hurt again if this guy comes back and she shows interest in him. Should I tell her how I am feeling about him coming back or would that be a bad idea? I have told her in the past when all this happened about my feelings about the whole deal. And I did bring up what she did a few times in the past when i was upset at her, to make her feel bad. I know thats not the right thing to do, it just came out at bad times.

[PhillyOrion]

I have told her I have forgiven her, its just sometimes I worry that I haven't forgiven her, if I still worry about THIS guy.

[Junsui]

I don't know. She should already know your feelings if you have told her before. There isn't anything you can really do to protect yourself from getting hurt again besides ending the relationship. You'll just have to get over this or move on and find someone else.

[PhillyOrion]

I love this girl, she is great, she had helped me in college so much by becoming a better person. I guess I will stick it out, and hope for the best.

[Junsui]

Good Luck!

[TAVS]

I love this girl, she is great, she had helped me in college so much by becoming a better person. I guess I will stick it out, and hope for the best.

You sound very insecure. Good luck holdin on to this girl if you can't cowboy up.

[Junsui]

She sounds insecure as well and most likely she doesn't want to be alone. You said she had jumped from one relationship to another. I did the same thing for a long time. So, I would be careful with her and make sure she got into a relationship with you because she wanted to be in one with you and not because she just wanted to be in a relationship and you showed her attention.

[Tone]

Hey there you go Prodigal - insecure girl found herself an insecure boy.

;p