Why Don't I Care?

[CAM]

Okay, went on a date last night--I was set up with some professional woman--very late 20s. A nice three hour discussion (I guess if she really didn't enjoy my company, she could have ditched earlier). From the get-go, she kept her distance (to her credit, I was offered a hug)--made it very clear that she would prefer to remain free of all attachment. Has mild disdain (yet, you can tell she knows the bio-clock is ticking) for her friends because their are now married and can't go out and play like they used to (you know, they grew up and became adults...).

Well mannered person? Yes. Discussion good. Yeah, good enough; although after dating over 40 women, the discussion patterns are pretty close. Politically similar? Pretty close. Smart? Yes, but beyond work it is not applied. Attractive? Yeah, but why is it so many women behave more like men than women?

Me? Mid-to-late 30's.

I pretty much left it with, "Give me a call when you return from your business trip."

Why do I walk away from such things with absolutely no concern about hearing from her ever again? Why do I no longer feel like being the gallant guy who sweeps her off her feet? Why do I no longer feel like even playing it for sex, if nothing else?

Is it an age thing? Have times changed? Is our polluted environment effecting my testosterone and sperm production? What?

[Gigabitch]

CAM, I know how old you are, but are you really ready to settle down? Really? You have much more time than a woman your age does- maybe you don't care because YOUR biological clock hasn't gone off yet. Maybe it never will. (Yes, this happens to guys too.)

When you meet someone worth getting excited about, you will. Until then, why should you?

[The Great OV!!!]

LoL, his bio clock has not gone off yet...lol you are funny Giga...I pretty much sure it kicks in at 18...and gets bored at 28+....doesn't stop working...just gets bored.

[Gigabitch]

Not the desire to hump anything in a skirt- the desire to have kids. Believe it or not, men want this too. They reach a point where they want to get married and have a family, if they're fortunate enough to be able to make this decision on their own rather than accidentally impregnating someone long before they're ready.

Or maybe CAM has reached this point, and messing with anything less than The One just doesn't interest him.

[CAM]

Or maybe CAM has reached this point, and messing with anything less than The One just doesn't interest him.

Yes, correct.

[The Great OV!!!]

Not the desire to hump anything in a skirt- the desire to have kids. Believe it or not, men want this too. They reach a point where they want to get married and have a family, if they're fortunate enough to be able to make this decision on their own rather than accidentally impregnating someone long before they're ready.

Or maybe CAM has reached this point, and messing with anything less than The One just doesn't interest him.

Sure, what ever makes you happy and sleep better at night.

[The Great OV!!!]

I wonder what happens when a man reaches this point Giga and he doesn't have any of the other fun stuff accomplished...is he bitter or does he just switch over?

[clynn]

Maybe because you don't have anything invested in this relationship - yet.

I find it difficult to care about something that there isn't an already natural connection/bond with, or a place where your lives overlap.

And, yes, I think we get used to our independence and comfortable with it and our desire for attachment might decrease at times.

That sounds like a guy I dated for a while. I liked him, he was handsome, had a lot going for him, and after a little bit I did grow more attached to him. But I found it really difficult for our worlds to meld.

We didn't last very long, even though we might have otherwise been compatible in some ways.

Wrong time/place for both of us. however, that particular interaction/relationship did bring me emotionally closer to a place where I wanted to make having a relationship a priority.

[Gigabitch]

I wonder what happens when a man reaches this point Giga and he doesn't have any of the other fun stuff accomplished...is he bitter or does he just switch over?

No idea. Every guy I've ever met who decided he was ready had plenty of experience. I think guys just need to know what's out there, you know?

[vashti]

You sound very bored, Cam. Where are you finding the women you date? I think you need to look somewhere else. I bet you would enjoy someone with more interesting things to talk about than work or her boring friends. You should try dating a river guide.

[Glyph]

I agree with the above - a lot of young people (and at 24, I'd consider myself one of those) don't view such things in the same light, whether they still want their fill of no-strings sex (or, strings sex if they can't get anything else), or because they're not future-minded. Academically, however, that makes sense to me: why really date anyone to whom you couldn't see yourself married one day? (Or with whom you'd permanently settle down, if marriage isn't your cuppa).

To me, it sounds like a case of lowered bullshit tolerance.

[CAM]

A river guide, huh? Actually, I dated one in college.

Earlier point regarding being bored. Eh, not really bored. Not set in my ways so much as I like my life and am not thrashing about, searching for meaning; rather, searching for a companion in life.

In terms of deciding enough experience is enough. Hey, I'm about average I guess...dated 40+ women, "partially" experienced half of them, "fully experienced" eight of them. That's normal or probably below average these days. But, certainly enough is enough...that was my 20's and teens. Now, I just want the real thing.

This date, looking back, probably wasn't the end of it...she'll likely call.

Meanwhile, Giga, guess who else is still calling??? Any guesses?!

[Gigabitch]

Bunny Boiler. Oh, my God. Do I have to send you a can of Off to spray on yourself?

You were too nice to her, CAM. You know you were. I know you had no choice, but boy, are you stuck with a sticky one now!

[CAM]

Giga--

LOL. You guessed it...the one the only

Actually, BB has been nice in return--recently offered me a once in a lifetime opportunity which will be fun and educational. Underneath the emotional issues, she's got a good heart.