First Fight, End?

[achilles9]

So I'm not quite sure what to do here. The explanation:

Me and my girlfriend had been going out for a year and a half. Everything had been great, no fights or anything, no problems. For the last six months, we had been doing the long distance thing, seeing each other every 2-3 weeks. And as much as it was a bit tough in between visits, we were doing better than before and still were getting closer and really doing well.

She came to visit this weekend and we had our first real issues. We hung out at my place on friday, went out on saturday, and then came back around midnight to my place. We were both drunk and all over each other, but ended up falling asleep. A couple hours later, I wake up and try to wake her up, but she's pretty non-responsive. So I slipped up and told her that she was being a little passive aggressive earlier in the day. She completely shuts down on me, so I apologize a couple times and fall asleep.

The next morning, we wake up around 8 and end up having sex, but I can tell she isn't into it. And from there she just completely shut down. I apologized a couple more times before she left, just making sure she knew that I was sorry and that I wanted to make sure she was ok. For about 2 days, she would respond to my texts with one word answers, nothing more. I called her last night, talked to her for about 20 minutes, but it was a pretty icy conversation.

The long and short is that I'm not sure what to do. She's never acted like this ever, and so I'm kind of fearing the worst at this point. Part of me thinks that I just need to give her space for a few days, but I worry that will make me look like I don't care about her. So I'm just not sure how to play this at this point. This is the first real problem that we've had, so I'm not sure if she just needs to cool down or if she's considering ending things. Would really appreciate some advice, and yes, I do realize that I am coming across as a little freaked out, but that's because I am. Thanks in advance.

[kms]

So I slipped up and told her that she was being a little passive aggressive earlier in the day. She completely shuts down on me, so I apologize a couple times and fall asleep.

^ This is why she's so upset and refuses to talk to you normally, is acting like a bitch and being distant? That's it?? Did something else happen in addition that you left out...? You said you had sex in the morning - did you force her? The way she's acting indicates that something HUGE happened. If you told her she was passive aggressive and that's all (unless the situation you were referring to when you called her passive aggressive was a big deal to her), why on earth would anyone get mad about that (at least not more than a few minutes or so), and then continue to be ice cold even after several apologies?

And, if that's all you said/did, I don't see any reason why you should apologize endlessly. Once is enough. After that, she's being childish and immature.

Based on this, I have no idea why she's acting like that; it's unjustified. And that is no reason to break up with anyone over. If that set her off, then you'll never last through real arguments, lol.

[IndiReloaded]

So let's get this straight: you went out, had a good time but both crashed. You woke her for sex, she wasn't into it, so you got pissy and called her PA for something that happened earlier that day?

Then you climbed on her next am, still without a proper apology. But she was nice enough to fulfill your needs.

I wouldn't say you are evil, but you sound a bit inconsiderate and possibly selfish when you don't get your way. Tho I suspect this is not the sum total of your issues.

A good apology has 3 parts: acknowledging the error (I'm sorry for xxx-whatever you did), acknowledging how it affected the damaged party (I'm sorry I made you feel xxx), and making amends/correcting (how you will fix or prevent the same in future).

[achilles9]

Yeah, my view is that she feels like I completely ignored her feelings the next morning after what happened. I definitely didn't force myself on her, but it was clear that wasn't what she wanted to do. And it is my fault for doing that, since I know I wasn't thinking clearly since we only see each other every few weeks. I definitely feel bad because the last thing I have ever wanted to do was make her feel like this, and would never do anything to intentionally hurt her. This is literally the first thing like this that has happened in a year and a half. At this point, my gameplan is just to give her a call tonight and talk to her, then end with an apology to let her know I've been thinking about it and that I really don't want things to end over this.