In love with an older woman

[shyromantic]

I posted something here a few weeks ago about being in love with a workmate who was 16 years older than I am, since then she's left to go back to uni (she's a mature student) and I went to the cinema with her the other week which didn't go to well, basically nothing happened, we went to see the film, she bought a friend which i hear is completely normal for a first date but also normal if friends are just going out to see a film. we went to see inglorious basters (her choice) we both thought it was a bit disappointing and maybe that cast a shadow over the whole evening.

since then i asked if she would like to go out again which she agreed to quite enthusiastically. when i asked her out to the cinema she laughed and said yes, she was having a particularly horrible day at work that day and apparently i really cheered her up but now she's gone all quiet. what does this all mean?

I think my problem is that I'm too shy and don't chat to her whenever she's online, for some reason I don't quite know what to say. should I just tell her how I feel? It's not like we work together anymore though she might be coming back to work there next summer it's plenty of time to get over the general awkwardness of it all.

[FullofSighs]

Yeah, you can tell her how you feel, ask her out again and tell her then. I think that would be a good time to tell her. With you both being quiet sounds like your both shy and you both kinda like each other. Sounds like she likes you quite a bit if you cheer up her day.

[Gigabitch]

I don't know who is telling you that it's "normal" to bring a friend on a first date, but it's a load of crap. That's definitely a "we're just friends" maneuver.

[vashti]

Don't blurt out how you feel! You need to utilize your intuition to see if she reciprcates any interest whatsoever... I don't think her bringing a friend is a good sign.

If you want to guage her interest, ask her if you can take her out ALONE.

[ecojeanne]

you're in the friend zone, sorry.

[MVPlaya]

Don't blurt out how you feel! You need to utilize your intuition to see if she reciprcates any interest whatsoever... I don't think her bringing a friend is a good sign.

If you want to guage her interest, ask her if you can take her out ALONE.

Maybe she brought the friend as a signal to him that she is not interested in him.

[vashti]

Maybe she brought the friend as a signal to him that she is not interested in him.

Maybe, but it's also possible she brought a friend because it might seem presumptuous for a woman that much older to consider a movie invitation by a much younger male to be a date.

[SS Gal]

Go out with her again and maybe coffee or something afterwards and see how it goes. You can talk about the movie over coffee or drinks or whatever and that will give you something to talk about. See what vibe you get from her. I'd stay quiet about your feelings, that may scare her away being told that so soon.

[shyromantic]

thanks for the advice. just to add a quick update, I am going on a "second date" this Sunday, basically a quiet walk through a local park picking blackberries, just the two of us this time. and she's stopped being quiet, I think it might be because she's been busy recently.

I think she's probably worried about me being so much younger. we don't really know each other outside work which might be why she bought along a friend apparently women do this if they don't really know the person they're going out on a date with so they feel more secure, also she was in the vicinity of the cinema all day and had a few hours to kill before going to see the film, I would have gone earlier to keep her company but I was working.