Fed up but confused

[TDurden]

after eight months of trying to start a relationship with this girl i've decided i'm done for my own mental health. i think i'll go insane if i try to keep this up. and right now i could not be more bitter or frustrated.

in the past things have gone awry with girls because of obvious reasons and that's fine with me because at least there's an explanation. but this just pisses me off because i did everything right and not only are we not dating i barely hear from her anymore. i mean, from the start, i talked to her in class and casually flirted then asked her out to a movie after a few days, she said yes and shortly there after i explicitly said i was interested in a relationship so as to keep things from getting vague. yet somehow, for the last eight months it's been nothing but. she's dodgy and hard to contact yet when i would see her it was always really great and she seemed to be having a good time. i never pressured her or neglected her. hell, for graduation i got her a signed copy of a book by one of her favorite authors.

as i'm typing this it's been over a month and a half since she's deliberately made contact with me. last time we talked was over a week ago and that was only because i left a message on her cell and called her at home. i personally don't think i was asking to much to hear from her from time to time, even if a relationship wasn't in the cards. and its not even like her being in college is a good excuse cause the campus is only 15 minutes away and she comes home on the weekends.

anyway, i'm just feeling bitter to the whole dating thing, and mostly just needed to vent.

[King Zarathu]

Naturally. You're not really asking questions as to why she's asking like an asshole, right? The conclusion is blatant and crystal-clear: she doesn't want a relationship.

Nevertheless, there's still something you can do to make things better for yourself. Masturbate. Masturbate a lot. Masturbate so much your penis feels like it could fall off any minute. Yes. Any minute.

[TDurden]

i told her early on that if she wasn't interested in a relationship, then i'm fine with just being friends. of course inside, i'm not, but she doesn't know that. i haven't pressured her at all. maybe slight hints but nothing that would suggest that being friends is unacceptable. anyway, i'd get the no relationship thing, but no contact whatsoever? seems a bit excessive to me...

[King Zarathu]

Why don't you just totally return the "no contact" bullshit and forget about her? Chances are, if she realizes you're completely capable of going on without her, she might come running. Maybe. It depends on her.

[TDurden]

that's the plan right now. my guess is that you're right and that's she's one of those people who only wants what she can't have.

[King Zarathu]

Yep. Also, you might not want to deal with her bullshit and just quit playing her game. Maybe. It depends on you.

Or, you can do things ZaR-style. Play her game, beat the game, **** her, leave her. Done and done.

[vashti]

TDurden, I think the signed book as a gift was extremely thoughtful.

Anyway, if this girl is not giving you what you need in this relationship, I think you should look for it elsewhere. You may simply have different goals for the time being, and she may not look at you as "exclusive boyfriend" material.

[Gigabitch]

She sounds like kind of a black hole. I think you should stop pouring your efforts down there and try to find someone who might reciprocate some of your attention.

Jeeze- where were you when I was 18? Oh, that's right. You weren't even born yet.

I'm sure she's got something going on you don't even know about that makes it difficult for her to see what she's missing (fool that she is).

This just happened to my favorite ex boyfriend. Eight months of effort and... nada. I'm relieved, because it means I might have a shot at him now. Maybe there's somebody great just waiting for you to quit it with Miss Black Hole.

[Borealis]

The anguish and negative sentimental discourse will ebb its way out of your life once the right person passes by in your life. It's natural to feel the cynicism you feel, however, to truly hold that as a philosophy and belief system would be detrimental to yourself.

Borealis