Moving On....

[H8potion]

Hi,

First a little background about myself. I'm a 25 year old male, who was never (and still isn't!!) any good dealing with the opposite sex. Always been too shy and too afraid. As a result, I feel that I missed out on so much in my life.

Then, I met her. I felt that I had to do something with my life. It sucks to be alone and lonely. So I took a chance, and asked her out after several months of conjuring up the courage to do so!

Being inexperienced, I didn't really know what to do during a date. She was the very first girl that ever went out with me. Not to make this post too long, I'll leave out the details of that night. I thought that I did ok, but looking back at it, it was probably one of her worst dates ever. I can only assume that I didn't make a very good impression on her. This was evident during the SEVERAL occassions in which she cancelled on me when we made plans to get together again. The last two times, she offered no excuses and didn't return my calls. And when I saw her the next day, it was as if nothing happened!

I'm a fool. I still like her a lot. I know now that I will never get the chance to ever be with her. But I'm having a real hard time letting go. It doesn't help that I see her at work everyday.
I guess you can call this my first heartache. Something I should have gone through 12-13 years ago.
I guess I can stay friends with her, but everytime I talk to her, my emotions get the better of me, and I'm tempted to keep pursuing her even though, I know that its a hopeless cause.

Please help. I'm obsessed with her for some reason. Thinking about her too much. I have been avoiding her these last few days, but I know that I will eventually run into her someday, and I'm afraid that I'm gonna convince myself that there is hope, when clearly there isn't. I even started going out more with my friends lately, but throughout the evening I'd keep wishing that she was there with me.

I find it real tough to move on when I feel depressed most of the time. I know I have to stay positive, but am having a real tough time doing so.

John

[JasonRebel17]

Im only 17 yr old but i know a little something about love.........if u really love this girl u should face ur fear and go up to her and talk to her, and tell her how u feel about her and how much u love her.. and avoiding her is not a good idea because she may thing u dont like her or find her unattractive.....who in this world inspired you? your bestfriend? can u act like urself when u are with ur friends? have her hang out with u and ur friend sometime and tell her to bring some friend alone. just go up to her sometime this week and tell her that u think that she is very attractive and would love to spend some time with her. and than ask her if she want to go hang out with u and ur friend and tell her to bring some friends too. and than while u guys hang out (like go to the mall or something) go up to her and start talking to her grab her hand so u guys can hold hand ......or something like that.......but most important let her know how u feel ok?? good luck john....

Jason

[Tarabell952]

Whether or not this ends up working out, at least you made the effort. You should feel better about yourself because for the first time in your life you took a risk with a girl. It does not always end up working out, but it is better to try than to do nothing at all.

Do you ever drink? Ask her to go to the bar and play some pool or something. After a few drinks you will probably be a little more loosened up. Then you won't be as nervous and you'll talk more and be more fun.

What, if anything, did you do wrong on the date? I'd like to hear so I can offer some pointers for next time (Because there will be a next time, even if it's with someone else).

[H8potion]

Thanks for the replies.
Oh well, I think here we go again.... I caved in and talked to her the other night. Wasn't really planning to but it just happened. Thought she would have been long gone from work when I walked in and ran into her.
Anyways, she was leaving and we chatted for a little bit. She told me to call her later on, which I did. Surprisingly she picked up! I thought she was just being polite and nice to me.
Anyways, we've been talking a lot more now. Things are looking up on the"just friends" zone. Not sure if I wanna ask her out again. She'll probably just sell me out again.
My friends (and their wives) and I are all going out after work this weekend. We're goin clubbing and I know she likes to go clubbing. I might ask her to go. Maybe bring her best friend along with her so she would be more comfortable. She's only 20 years old, but my friend will let her in the club no problem and for free! That would be a plus!
***sigh**** Don't really know what to do or how to bring this up to her without making it seem like I'm asking her for a date....or if I should even do it! Maybe I should wait longer and just "get to know her better" by talking to her on a more regular basis again. Even though it's mostly on the phone.

My spirits are so much higher right now since were talking again. I don't wanna screw anything up or overstep my boundaries. I really like the person I'm getting to know despite certain malicious rumors I've heard about her. I woudn't call it "love", but it's definitely a form of infatuation that comes from deep inside...

Oh well.

John

[sfalexi]

My friends (and their wives) and I are all going out after work this weekend. We're goin clubbing and I know she likes to go clubbing. I might ask her to go. Maybe bring her best friend along with her so she would be more comfortable.

Sure. But are you prepared to watch her bump'n'grind against some strange guy and possibly hook up with him afterwards?