Should I let her go?? Or keep on fighting for her??

[imthedjone]

Everyone please bear with me, im new and i really need some advice. Sorry for how long my story is, but i wanted to be detailed.


Ok so its been about two months since me and my ex have been broken up. we date for about five years. we started when she was 16 and I was 20.

You know the first three and a half years were amazing i guess you can say we were kinda on the "hunny moon" phase of the relationship. Ive dated prior girls before her and I never really cared about them the way I did for her. I treated her like a queen, everything she ever wanted I gave to her. Every action, every move I made in my life was based on her because I felt that this was the one for me. She also felt the same way and she as well showed it through her actions.

There were some trust issues and she addressed them to me. I was cheated on in the past and it kinda still haunted me and I didnt want to get hurt again. The one thing she didnt understand is that I trusted her, but not the people around her ie. certain friends and other guys. You know there also sometimes we argued, but hey what coupld doesnt argue from time to time. The one thing I noticed though was that after the "hunnymoon phase" which was after 3 and a half years she started to pick fights with me.

She was not really good at communicating her feelings, so I would approach her about it. I would ask you know if there is something bothering you let me know. She would just brush it off like it was nothing. But she would just keep pushing me away with all the arugments and constant bickering. There was time during this that I wanted to break up with her, but i didnt because i cared for her and thought things would change, so I stuck around.

she was about 20 during this time and i was dreading her turning 21. All my other friends experience their ex-gf leaving them when they turned 21, but I pushed that out of my mind because I thought she was different. Also during this time my grandfather died, and instead of you know being there for me she was kinda not understanding. It was the first time i should her that side of me and I dont think she could handle it, which was really bogus. Also during the griving period of my grandfathers death which was into our fourth year together, she said that she need some experience, which at that point I really didnt care because i was dealing with something more important.

A few months past and she brought it up again. So this time we talked about it. I asked her what do you mean by that. She was like i just need experiences, but she then also said I want to go out but i wont go out without you. She was refering to her turning 21. once she said that it was a sigh of relief, so i thought.

About seventeen days before her birthday, she brought it up again, but this time she was like I need experiences without you. I was so shocked I didnt really know how to respond. Then we got a got into a big arguement and I said a few things out of anger, so I told her lets cool off and take the night off. So she went home, but she called me later like nothing ever happened, and asked me to come over. It was akward being at her house so I told her after a couple hours, im tired and i just want to go home.

We broke up the day after. I called her to talk the next day. Not to drag the story out longer, she pushed my buttons like she new she could backed me into a corner and I walked away. She asked me what about us, and in anger I said there is no us and left. I got home and I realized that you know I could have handled it better. So i called her and apologized and u know cuz I loved her i told her that we can try to work this out. She said no I commiting to this breakup.

I didnt hear from her for about a few days. When i did she told me that she doesnt think i can change and that she didnt want us together anymore. But she also asked me to wait for her, I was like what does that mean? she was like I want you to wait, but if the other person doesnt feel like they can wait anymore we have to be up fron with each other.

So i said ok ill wait. I sent her an email a week later, just to let her know that you know im waiting and that im doing ok and just wishing her the best and to she if she was doing ok, no response. I went away for a week with mutal friends to a lake house. she texts a friend of mine while we were there to tell me to move on, which was bogus.

So I send her another email, kinda like a closure email, at least so I thought. I expected her to respond because she was ultimatley done and I thought she would be mature and at least explain what happened, I got nothing. So her birthday was the next week. I decided that you know ill text her happy bday. So i did, but during this week i had time to mull over the email I sent her and realized that thats not what i really meant. So i sent her an email saying that you know You might be confused and im hear for you if you need im and i said ill wait so that what im going, along with the happy bday, I got nothing.

So right there I decided to stop contact with her. I havent tried talked to her in a little over a month now. I have slipped up and talked to some mutal friends about her while i was kinda drunk at the bar with my friends, but other than that i refuse to contact her again.

So what now should I continue just moving on and forget about her they way that im trying? Everyday she doesnt contat me makes me believe and accept that we will never be back together again. The funny thing is that I still love this girl, and its getting annoying wasting all that energy and love for someone that isnt showing it back.

Now a question to some of the girls out there. When you turned 21 and decieded to part way and want freedom did you ever regret it? I mean my ex just walked away in two weeks and claimed to hve no more feelings or anything towards me. thats crazy to me cuz how do you forget five years in two weeks, thats impossible.

So what should I do I really need advice. For the first time in my life i find a girl that is worth fighting for. I want to fight for her but there is no contact between us. So i just call it quits?

[Bigboy77]

she's immature.. she will realize how stupid she was for giving up on you, but only once it's too late and she's got her stupid shallow "experiences"

[firefox43]

Games are no fun, and it sounds like this is one big game. If you want to be with her then go all out to get her back. If you don't, then walk away completely and don't look back! Make the decision! There are a lot of other fish in the sea, yet I understand about loving that one person. What do you want to do?

[imthedjone]

honestly i dont know what i want to do. she is the first woman that i feel is worth fighting for. but i guess her need for experience out weighs her love for me. and its terrible because i want to show to her and i want to fight for her, but she doesnt even respond to anything. i havent contact her for a little over a month now. the last time i tried to contact her was her bday. So what would you guys do in my situation?

[jrharvey]

honestly i dont know what i want to do. she is the first woman that i feel is worth fighting for. but i guess her need for experience out weighs her love for me. and its terrible because i want to show to her and i want to fight for her, but she doesnt even respond to anything. i havent contact her for a little over a month now. the last time i tried to contact her was her bday. So what would you guys do in my situation?

I think its time to let go even if it hurts like crazy. She is in that stage (Ive been their before) and I know that once your mind is set to do it then you must. I broke up with my GF of 3 years because I felt the need to get more experience and although I still loved her with every bone in my body, I knew I would always be wondering "what if". To this day I still do not regret my decision but I will always love her in some way. Now she is married but thats ok. I did the right thing I needed to do. Ive also been on your end. i was crazy in love with a girl who did the same thing to me. It hurts but its something that needs to happen. It will make her stronger when she does find that special person.

[spicker]

1st rule: NO CONTACT, no matter what!
That includes creeping on her facebook profile!

cut her out of your life completely.

Remember the way you feel right now is NORMAL and is actually necessary for you to heal and move on.
Give it time. Take care of yourself and think about yourself and improve yourself.

[imthedjone]

1st rule: NO CONTACT, no matter what!
That includes creeping on her facebook profile!

cut her out of your life completely.

Remember the way you feel right now is NORMAL and is actually necessary for you to heal and move on.
Give it time. Take care of yourself and think about yourself and improve yourself.

oh i know, i havent talked to her at all. i havent contacted or done anything, ive given her, her space. what do you think the chances are that we may end up getting back together someday? or do you think she is set with her choice and has no regrets?

[spicker]

why are u letting her make the choice.
**** HER. you left the door open for her, and if she wants to be selfish and screw other guys then why would u want to be with her?
trust me if she wanted to be with you, she would've fought for you. she doesnt have those feelings for u, tough luck. cut your losses and move on.

u make the choice. and this is YOUR choice. YOU do NOT want to be with her!
ACCEPT it. It hurts. Its painful. But its the truth.

Theres someone out there for you, you'll find someone BETTER a lot better!
girls are like buses, u miss one, next one is just 15minutes away. And if u stay hung up on this bus(which is already gone) the next one will get delayed!!

[MrNiceGuy]

honestly i dont know what i want to do. she is the first woman that i feel is worth fighting for.

Go with your gut brah

[ghostshell06]

If you think she is worth fighting for then go and win her back. Whatever will be the result of taking the risk you will never regret because you have tried.

[imthedjone]

If you think she is worth fighting for then go and win her back. Whatever will be the result of taking the risk you will never regret because you have tried.

how am i supposed to do that?? she wouldnt even answer my emails and calls in the early stages of the break up. I doubt she will now if i start contacting her again. Any advice on how to do that? also any advice on how to do it without pushing her further away and without begging.

[spicker]

give her space and all u can really do is nothing.

[imthedjone]

so when someone tells you that they need experiences usually means they want to sleep with other people correct? and i am doing nothing. but i still want to show her i care. i mean its just crazy that she is so free from me after all these years. i mean all im asking since its over is closure. she cant even give me that. i just want to be free from her as she claims she is free from me.

[LostSnake18]

I wouldnt necessarily put it as they want to sleep with other people. Makes them sound like a whore or something. But experiences would mean being single and having fun. That sometimes might mean sleeping around or just dating different guys. Either way if she has moved on its time you do the same. The reality is nothing you can do will bring her back. Move on with your life and you will find someone else. It always happens. It just depends on how long.

[imthedjone]

how do you really know if she has moved on or is still really mad about the break up?? i never really know with her, she was never really good at communicating, even through this break up. like i said all i want is closure and she wont even give that to me. i just want some freedom, i want to be free from thoughts of her and just her in general. i mean i deserve closure especially after all these years. she wont give it to me. its not even a matter of just getting back with her anymore, if she has moved on i want her to give me the closure, so i can be free of her for good.