Do I let her go or fight for her.

[JohnW]

I'll be honest here, I'm 18 years old. Last year, a girl I know broke up with her boyfriend and two months later we got together. The thing was that, it took me about 2 months to realize that I liked her, concluding with her saying that she was done with waiting and that she was moving on. I panicked and I thought that I had a sudden realization that I did like her and that was that.

We had problems from the beginning because I wasn't really looking for a relationship and she was, even though she had recently broken up with her boyfriend. And all throughout this, I just wasn't happy. It got the point where we had a really big fight which ended in a questioning state of our relationship. I said that I felt that it would be better if we just stayed friends. She was devastated...again.

I think the reason that I got to that state of mind was because of a previous attempted relationships. In a nutshell, I've been rejected my whole life. I've only been two relationships (including the one I just spoke about). The previous one ended up with the girl leaving me for some other guy. I felt that I had a lot of love to give so I just waited until I was ready to go out and look for someone else. I liked a girl for about 6 months. Never told her. Then I liked another girl for 6 or so months, and one day I racked up the courage to tell her, only to be shot down. I friend zoned myself. At that point I looked at myself and I asked what I was doing wrong.

I was looking for love. And I hadn't found it. So I gave up. I was so ready to break hearts in college and put myself out there like never before, but then the girl walked into my life.

So what happened?

We became best friends. My other best friend says that we look like we're still going out, and sometimes I feel that people think that we are. That is was. About a week or so ago, we had an argument. She always wanted to hang out with me and whenever we didn't she'd get upset. I told her to stop making me her priority.

And that's what she did. She started hanging out with other people and this one guy in particular. We started growing apart and now I found out that she likes him. I'm devastated.

I've always had problems realizing things. My friend says that I still like her, because it's very obvious. Though I see no obvious. I don't know if it's because I don't have her anymore and that it's just a reaction to everything and that I'm jealous of the guy...or if I really do like her. Because I have grown so attached to her, that she became part of my life. And even though she told me that she likes him and that I had my chance..if it turns out that I do like her from the bottom of my heart, I'm going to fight for her. And if he comes out on top, then that's that and I'll do my best to move on.

What do I do?

[xxazurexx]

I think you are only 18 and there are plenty more fishies in the sea.

I'm also thinking she gave you a chance, you threw it back in her face....now suddenly you decide you want her and when she gets close to another guy.

Which is why I don't buy that you are 'truly' into her. You are just pissed that you aren't at the forefront of her attentions anymore. some other guy is.

[JohnW]

I think you are only 18 and there are plenty more fishies in the sea.

I'm also thinking she gave you a chance, you threw it back in her face....now suddenly you decide you want her and when she gets close to another guy.

Which is why I don't buy that you are 'truly' into her. You are just pissed that you aren't at the forefront of her attentions anymore. some other guy is.

That's what I was hoping for...yet also afraid of. I absolutely miss her. I know that things won't be the same, so how can I move on, yet keep her as my friend?

[nerdy_guy]

Spend some time away from her. The connection will lighten up eventually. She might look for you. Just tell her you need some time alone because what you feel about her now might destroy you're friendship.

[kitkitkitty]

I wasn't really looking for a relationship and she was, even though she had recently broken up with her boyfriend.

im thinking that she didn't want a real relationship, just a rebound one. maybe because of this, it wouldve ended quite quickly and you'd be even more hurt.