Should I ask a girl if..

[AT95]

Should I ask a girl if she is starting to lose interest in me or its better to ignore it unless if I want to end our friendship?
I mean, we are still friends but lately I noticed that her behavior towards me changed alot..
Im always full of thoughts about it and Im tired of it.. I dont know even how to start talking to her about this subject
cuz Im afraid that it will be too akward or stupid, what should I do?
how to ask her

[lovebroken]

Can ask if she is still interested in hanging out and talking but ask only once and look at her actions over her words more because actions show the reality, words can soften things or be lies.

[AT95]

Can ask if she is still interested in hanging out and talking but ask only once and look at her actions over her words more because actions show the reality, words can soften things or be lies.

dunno why but for some reason I think that I wont get a clear answer from her anyway..
oke I'll try anyway.. I have nothing to lose thanks!

[TheEvilJester]

Is she just a friend, or is this somebody you are hoping will become more of a friend? Either way, I guess it sort of depends. I think this is kind of a hard one for us to answer without knowing more or being closer to the situation. Because if you are kind of just overreacting and don't really have much reason to believe she's lost interest (believe me, I do that to myself all the time, so I can understand that) then I'd suggest that you should probably just do your best to ignore it and in time you'll see that you were just worrying over nothing.

On the other hand, if you actually do have legit reasons to feel this way, then I would suggest you actually do talk to her about it. There's no harm in saying to somebody, friend or even more than a friend, just something like "Hey, is everything okay with us? Sorry if I'm just worrying over something that's all in my imagination, but it just seems like you've been kind of pulling away." IF there are reasons she's been seeming distant, talking about it could help.... but she obviously has to give you that chance first.

Good luck to you either way. I hope it goes well.

[pcmaster]

Stop messaging, stop contact. She might message you first after a while. There is small chance. If she didnt wanted to be with you romanticaly then she dont want to be friends either. Shes been responding only out of politeness. Theres nothing that you have that she want. Told you in previous your topic to move on.

Trying to be friends with a girl who rejected you as a boyfriend material is like trying to wear a broken condom.

[AT95]

Stop messaging, stop contact. She might message you first after a while. There is small chance. If she didnt wanted to be with you romanticaly then she dont want to be friends either. Shes been responding only out of politeness. Theres nothing that you have that she want. Told you in previous your topic to move on.

Trying to be friends with a girl who rejected you as a boyfriend material is like trying to wear a broken condom.

Im starting to believe you.. but I hope your wrong

[pcmaster]

But of course dont lose hope in general. Better luck with some other girl. This one might not be right one. But there are some cool chicks out there for everyone. Its all about matching and luck.
Really if girl is a bitch to you then as sooner you move on and stop it continuing as better for everyone. Then again with other girls it can hit it off and go well and easy since very beginning.

[AT95]

But of course dont lose hope in general. Better luck with some other girl. This one might not be right one. But there are some cool chicks out there for everyone. Its all about matching and luck.
Really if girl is a bitch to you then as sooner you move on and stop it continuing as better for everyone. Then again with other girls it can hit it off and go well and easy since very beginning.

I met her today and I'm with mixed feelings again
she was very friendly and talkactive and she always had a smile on her face while looking at me
I just can't think or say anything bad/negative about her..
maybe I'm really that stupid and I'm just overreacting? darn it (forgot to mention, we work together)

[pcmaster]

Its spring. Maybe she wants to fck.

[TheEvilJester]

Are you two dating, or just friends at this point? Either way, do you want to be more than friends? Have you tried asking her out? I ask because if you already have asked her out, but she wasn't interested, then you would really be better served to just move on. Now, moving on can mean different things depending upon what works for you. You can certainly remain friends with her if that works for you.... but you should really only do that if you can honestly be okay with that. In other words, you can let go of wanting anything more with her rather than just be secretly (whether even you realize it yourself or not) waiting around hoping she'll change her mind. You'd also need to be able to keep your mind open to finding love elsewhere in other women who could possibly be a good match for you.

Again, though, that is assuming you've already asked her and she wasn't interested. I don't know, you didn't really say.

[shrah25]

Should I ask a girl if she is starting to lose interest in me or its better to ignore it unless if I want to end our friendship?
I mean, we are still friends but lately I noticed that her behavior towards me changed alot..
Im always full of thoughts about it and Im tired of it.. I dont know even how to start talking to her about this subject
cuz Im afraid that it will be too akward or stupid, what should I do?
how to ask her

Hi [MENTION=85455]AT95[/MENTION]

If you don't mind me asking, what age are the two of you?
Also, have you had many experience with women before?

The reason I ask these questions is that, often, men who have limited experience with women (and vice versa) tend to get completely infatuated by women just because they feel terribly lonely and when a man or woman shows them some interest, they cling on for dear life. I'm not saying this is happening here, but it would be good to get a little more background here to understand whether this is happening.

The other thing that also occurs is your judgement of a woman can be completely skewed in these scenarior. This happened to me with a woman I worked with and it completely screwed with my mind for 2 years before I was able to to truly understand what was happening. From there, I was able to learn the right lessons and then use that knowledge to help me in the future.

If you could provide a little more info, then I can give you some direction on how to move forward.

Thanks

[AT95]

Hi [MENTION=85455]AT95[/MENTION]

If you don't mind me asking, what age are the two of you?
Also, have you had many experience with women before?

The reason I ask these questions is that, often, men who have limited experience with women (and vice versa) tend to get completely infatuated by women just because they feel terribly lonely and when a man or woman shows them some interest, they cling on for dear life. I'm not saying this is happening here, but it would be good to get a little more background here to understand whether this is happening.

The other thing that also occurs is your judgement of a woman can be completely skewed in these scenarior. This happened to me with a woman I worked with and it completely screwed with my mind for 2 years before I was able to to truly understand what was happening. From there, I was able to learn the right lessons and then use that knowledge to help me in the future.

If you could provide a little more info, then I can give you some direction on how to move forward.

Thanks

Its a long story but anyway,
we are both 21 years old and we know each other for a year now,
a couple of months ago while we were talking I told her that I'm in love with her and she rejected me because as she said -
she is afraid that if we would be a couple and things will go wrong it may ruin our friendship forever and she doesnt want that to happend.
(Not sure if she was serious about it or if that was just an excuse but never mind)
and since than we were really close friends, (we were talking for hours on the cellphone/whatsapp on daily basis and had alot of fun together and we shared alot of info with each other)
but lately things were changed and it seems like she is not that into me anymore. (I mean being my friend.)
We stopped with the phone calls because she is always "tired"and whenever I send her a text message it takes her hours to replay or she just ignore it
and we barely talk even though we work together (sometimes when I try to start a conversation with her she is just being all cold so I take a step away).
It looks like she is playing hot and cold with me and the problem is that I got so attached to her that I dont know how to deal with it.. I cant even get mad at her
so I just get hurt every time and whenever she notice that and ask me what is going on I have no answer to tell her.
I know ithat maybe it sounds stupid and I'm just overreacting about this situation but I'm going nuts.

it all started after her ex started messaging her
now, I dont have any problem with that.. as a friend I understand that its not my business and really, whatever makes her happy makes me happy too
(I always tell her that) but again, I got so attached to her and it hurts that she suddenly started to ignore me and to act sometimes like I'm a stranger to her

[shrah25]

Hi [MENTION=85455]AT95[/MENTION]

Ok, so just to be clear, things started to change as soon as the ex got involved and started messaging her?

If that's the case, then it seems like you have fallen into the 'nice guy' friends bracket that happens a lot. I experienced a similar situation back in my teens where I became infatuated with a woman that I worked with. I was desperate and I came across as the nice guy that are always potrayed in the movies! That approach completely backfired. I convinced myself that I really loved this woman and if she's happy, then i'm happy. But unless, you have really elevated consciousness levels and operate from a truly loving state, often that is a lie that we've convinced ourselves to be true.

In my personal opinion, you have a couple of approaches to take:

1) Move on. At this stage, this probably feels the most difficult and I suspect, you don't even want to hear this right now, given your current emotional state. But personally I think its the most important step for you. Your 21 and this is an opportune time for you to gain more life experiences, enjoy yourselves, learn about relationships/dating and so on, rather than being hung up by a woman who doesn't appear to be showing you signs of being romantically interested in you.
2) Change your approach completely. Rather than being the quiet, nice guy friend, pick up your confidence, show some swagger and demonstrate that you are not someone who is going to be attached to her. Be polite, be genuine but not give off the desperate vibes. Show her that you have a life outside of her and see how things progress. Lots of guys do this with great success but i'm not a fan of this approach because for most guys, it's about game playing and I don't believe in playing games. If your intention is about maturing, developing confidence and independence, then great. I'm all for it and how she responds is just a by-product of that.

Like I said, I don't condone games or trying to use tactics etc to get woman. Be authentic, be yourself but most importantly, don't be so attached. You are so young and have many years ahead of you so move forward, learn the lessons you need to and eventually you will attract that special someone into your life.
Cheers

[AT95]

Are you two dating, or just friends at this point? Either way, do you want to be more than friends? Have you tried asking her out? I ask because if you already have asked her out, but she wasn't interested, then you would really be better served to just move on. Now, moving on can mean different things depending upon what works for you. You can certainly remain friends with her if that works for you.... but you should really only do that if you can honestly be okay with that. In other words, you can let go of wanting anything more with her rather than just be secretly (whether even you realize it yourself or not) waiting around hoping she'll change her mind. You'd also need to be able to keep your mind open to finding love elsewhere in other women who could possibly be a good match for you.

Again, though, that is assuming you've already asked her and she wasn't interested. I don't know, you didn't really say.

1.No,we are just friends (thats the same girl I was talking about in my previous posts if you remember)
2.50/50, really I'm not sure anymore.. I mean, I dont hate her but I dont know if I feel the same towards her as I did in the past
3.I tried to ask her out once and she was cool with that but it wasnt really a "date" just a friendly thing
4.I'm not hoping that she will change her mind and I never did.. she gave me enough signs that she is not intrested
so I dont see any point in it.
ahhhh forget it, I'm just going to ask her straight what does she want to do and if she wont respond to that or give me cold answers again I'm really out

Hi [MENTION=85455]AT95[/MENTION]

Ok, so just to be clear, things started to change as soon as the ex got involved and started messaging her?

If that's the case, then it seems like you have fallen into the 'nice guy' friends bracket that happens a lot. I experienced a similar situation back in my teens where I became infatuated with a woman that I worked with. I was desperate and I came across as the nice guy that are always potrayed in the movies! That approach completely backfired. I convinced myself that I really loved this woman and if she's happy, then i'm happy. But unless, you have really elevated consciousness levels and operate from a truly loving state, often that is a lie that we've convinced ourselves to be true.

In my personal opinion, you have a couple of approaches to take:

1) Move on. At this stage, this probably feels the most difficult and I suspect, you don't even want to hear this right now, given your current emotional state. But personally I think its the most important step for you. Your 21 and this is an opportune time for you to gain more life experiences, enjoy yourselves, learn about relationships/dating and so on, rather than being hung up by a woman who doesn't appear to be showing you signs of being romantically interested in you.
2) Change your approach completely. Rather than being the quiet, nice guy friend, pick up your confidence, show some swagger and demonstrate that you are not someone who is going to be attached to her. Be polite, be genuine but not give off the desperate vibes. Show her that you have a life outside of her and see how things progress. Lots of guys do this with great success but i'm not a fan of this approach because for most guys, it's about game playing and I don't believe in playing games. If your intention is about maturing, developing confidence and independence, then great. I'm all for it and how she responds is just a by-product of that.

Like I said, I don't condone games or trying to use tactics etc to get woman. Be authentic, be yourself but most importantly, don't be so attached. You are so young and have many years ahead of you so move forward, learn the lessons you need to and eventually you will attract that special someone into your life.
Cheers

I think I'll choose the first option and just move on..
I'm not mad at her or something but I'm so tired of this shit

[richiro]

you are in the friend zone. you have always been in the friend zone. and this is a classic case of 1 person is totally into the other person, but the other person doesn't feel it back. And as yo uknow, relatinosihps don't take 1 - it requires 2.
Sure you can ask her just for the hell of it and get an "official answer" but you already know the answer and really don't need to ask - its why you're too scared to ask. If you're too scared to ask - you know the answer.

In the future... dont' idolize women like they're statues and queens. This makes you "too easy" - nobody appreciates anything that comes too easy. They take granted things that are too easy. (Like you don't appreciate a good shower the way a homeless person would... right?)
Don't fall too fast for anybody. Realize that you really don't LOVE somebody when yoo'uve never dated them.. you LUST after them. And what you're LUSTING is your FANTASY of them and what you "imagine her to be" - which may not be anything that she is in reality.

yes i get it. you "talk a lot" so you think you know her.. YOU DON'T. Until you date and see her behind closed doors the good and bad - you don't know jack squat. Yo'ure just making it up in your head (just as everybody else is until they get to know somebody over time and behind closed doors).

Move on. let her go. Live as if it will neve chnage and keep an open mind of other people you meet insstead of having tunnel vision for only 1 person ever.

good luck.