another 'problem with the past' post

[mikethedog]

In a relationship for 2 months.

Revalation 1: three weeks in she tells me shes ALREADY pregnant from some other guy (an off and on thing) and is getting an abortion in a week or so.

Revalation 2: The sexual history. 1 hs bf, 1 college bf. then join the navy and slept with 8 guys in her command or neighbor command) 1 guy was a boyfriend the others were something else. the boyfriend lasted about a year so that 7 in 2 yrs.

Changed to current command and Im the 4th in 8 months. (not counting the rendevous with one of the previous 8 that got her preg.) The one before me happed the night after I met her.

Revelation 3: 'OH yeah, I have HPV. Its probably gone by now'

Revalation 4: not so much a big deal but... the guy that got her preg was visiting form out of town where he lives with his girlfriend and one year old daughter. The two girls are and were close friends throughout these rendevzous.

Thats it. Other that that shes perfect (ha) seriously though. I wanted to marry this girl from day one, then found out this stuff over the course of the last month.

I know that 'the past is the past' Ive read about fifty of these types of posts. Also I dont judge. At least I dont tell her I do. I dont get mad and ask detaials and call names. Im still sick.

What would you do?

[Gigabitch]

The past isn't past if it keeps messing with the present. What would I do? Seriously, I would protect myself if I were you. Sure, she may be wonderful and all and maybe you've happened to just find her as she's making this great evolutionary leap into adulthood, but what I see is mountains of evidence that she's sexually and emotionally irresponsible. Don't marry her.

Oh, and use a condom. Maybe two.

[lesa]

I would RRRUUUUUNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!

Oh, and HPV doesn't go away so easily. Some keep it for life and it may go away for others. I assume you had some type of test?

[damn2008]

We can always see the problems and results of the present and future by looking to the past. A history teacher told me that once and it holds true on SO many levels.

This is not the relationship for you.

[DoesntMatter]

She sounds like your average girl in this day and age

[IndiReloaded]

Well, this is what the dating phase is for, to find out all the crap about someone BEFORE you get married. Next time, try not to decide you'll marry someone right after you meet. That's YOUR expectations rising up, not reality, and you set yourself up to be needlessly hurt.

Anyway, this fish needs to be 'released' back to the sea. You caught yourself a skank. Sorry babe, better hunting next time.

[Cbrider]

She sounds like your average girl in this day and age

Lol, maybe some of the younger girls DM...thats a pretty bold statement though.

Run...don't look back get the hell away from her. she got pregnant and is pretty promiscuous. Honestly it would bother me the way she conducts herself sexually...I mean if you like the guy sure, but she sounds like a whore to me.

[Aeradalia]

In a relationship for 2 months.

Not enough time to know someone... both of you haven't relaxed enough to be your real selves yet.

Revalation 1: three weeks in she tells me shes ALREADY pregnant from some other guy (an off and on thing) and is getting an abortion in a week or so.

This day and age, it's fairly easy to avoid pregnancy. Also, how far along was she? Because if it was still early, then how soon did she get pregnant before she entered into a relationship with you? I see some recklessness on her part and possibly jumping too quickly from one relationship to another.

Revalation 2: The sexual history. 1 hs bf, 1 college bf. then join the navy and slept with 8 guys in her command or neighbor command) 1 guy was a boyfriend the others were something else. the boyfriend lasted about a year so that 7 in 2 yrs.

What does 'something else' mean?

Changed to current command and Im the 4th in 8 months. (not counting the rendevous with one of the previous 8 that got her preg.) The one before me happed the night after I met her.

I don't see a lot of time between relationships which leaves very little time for personal reflection and learning. She may be prone to making the same mistakes over and over again since she never seems to slow down.

Revelation 3: 'OH yeah, I have HPV. Its probably gone by now'

Probably gone by now? Probably may be good enough for her... but is 'probably gone by now' good enough for you.. especially when it involves HPV?

Revalation 4: not so much a big deal but... the guy that got her preg was visiting form out of town where he lives with his girlfriend and one year old daughter. The two girls are and were close friends throughout these rendevzous.

The guy that got her pregnant was of low character... and her for going with him in spite of the family situation also demonstrates low character. I wouldn't be surprised if she has something on the side while being with you... since she sees nothing wrong with such 'freedom' in a relationship.

Thats it. Other that that shes perfect (ha) seriously though. I wanted to marry this girl from day one, then found out this stuff over the course of the last month.

I think you've allowed yourself to be fooled. If you find all of this to be unsettling, then it's obvious that she is not 'perfect.' It seems that the infatuation is beginning to wear off and reality is starting to step in.

I know that 'the past is the past' Ive read about fifty of these types of posts. Also I dont judge. At least I dont tell her I do. I dont get mad and ask detaials and call names. Im still sick.

This is her 'recent' past, and apparently there are no signs of a positive change in behavior. It's ok to forget someone's past bad deeds when there has been much time afterwards that shows improvement... but this girl isn't showing that. I would be greatly concerned about her past if I were you. It alludes to what the future may hold in store for you if you continue to remain with her.

What would you do?

In a word... run. I would run as fast as I possibly could. No need for such drama... especially from someone who is suppose to love you.

[mikethedog]

Thanks you all for the responses. I am a very logical person and agree with everything thats been said. Still hurts.

During the short time got to know her nothing indicated issues like these existed. Really the opposite. She is 28 with a good career. Not a flirty/slutty acting girl.

The guy apparently took off the condom mid-sex. (how she didnt know Im still not sure) I know this is true because I saw an email from her to him berating him for getting her in this situation.

"something else" in her terms were guys she knew and liked. not one night stands. Well, not by the traditional def. She admits to only one "one night stand." As in sleep with someone the first night they meet and never again. Most were the first date kind of thing and only happened once or twice. Again, all co-workers.

Things HAVE overlapped. Not the pregnancy though. When we met she didnt even know she was preg. She knows the date and it was over a month before we even met. The first night I met her we clicked and liked each other. The next day she slept with a guy that had been after her for months. This is a guy I have to work with very closely. But they only talked after that and that talking overlapped with me getting to know her. By the way, HE was the one who didnt want to see her again. (sortof a one night stand, right?)

thanks for listening...

[Aeradalia]

She sounds like your average girl in this day and age

I feel like I should stand up and defend against this statement... but.. eh.. I'm kind of lazy... and I have to be honest... the majority of young girls today... well, they haven't really been helping their 'image' much.

I'm sure there are exceptions... etc.

[Charlie Boy II]

haha I thanked DM's post because i thought it was funny but I don't actually agree. It's just the sluttiest or worst behaved girls tend to be the most visible. I don't care anyway. I just love girls. Even the sluts.

You just have to remember: you can't make a ho a housewife.

[ame="http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=aOcfifvKt90"]http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=aOcfifvKt90[/ame]

[carl1222]

She's had sex with 12 men in less than 3 years??? Sheesh!

You DO seem logical so I assume you're only asking for confirmation of what you already know ... her potential as a life partner is horrible!

My advice ... stop having sex with her IMMEDIATELY and get tested. Eventually you will find someone better to love, so to paraphrase from the movie "Love Story" ... "Love means never having to say you're sorry ... especially after a Pap smear!!"

Don't walk away, RUN!

Carl.

[Ms.Cruise]

[QUOTE=Gigabitch;405482]The past isn't past if it keeps messing with the present. What would I do? Seriously, I would protect myself if I were you. Sure, she may be wonderful and all and maybe you've happened to just find her as she's making this great evolutionary leap into adulthood, but what I see is mountains of evidence that she's sexually and emotionally irresponsible. Don't marry her.

Oh, and use a condom. Maybe two.[/QUOTE

You right about that Giga. Past always messing with the present.
You can't run from the past. It's always there to haunt you, no matter what you do. There is always something that gonna trigger it , even you accept her by all your heart.

Ms. Cruise

[Lite]

OK, let's look at it this way. HPV isn't stopped by condoms. Full stop. End of sentence. It's even a real pain in the ass to test for. (High rate of false negatives last I knew.)

Now, do you want to walk around for the rest of your life telling every woman you may ever sleep with that you may have HPV?

Yeah, oops. How much do you respect your health, and the health of future lovers. If you're not capable of telling future lovers up front that he/she is at risk then you should run like hell from this woman. She has basically already demonstrated a basic lack of respect for her body with her behavior. Poor decision making process, sleeping w/ guys in her command repeatedly. She has issues. Run like ****ing hell.