I'm screwed...

[poisoned]

well yes I'm really screwed =/
After 3 years, my boyfriend decided to take a 'break' because he can't get over me chatting with a guy 2 years ago, saying I was ignoring him and I was flirting with the other guy. I admit part of my fault is mine, I don't know what happened but it was a really strong connection between me and the guy I was chatting with. But damn, it's been 2 years since he simply dissapeared without a word. And now, after all this time, my boyfriend remembered suddenly and said he can't get over it and he was really hurt. I know it's stupid, it was only online stuff but me and boyfriend met over the internet aswell... so he took it seriously. Now I'm waiting for him to get over it.

But the worse part is that it's happening again. =/
I met this guy over the internet, he's like the other one's clone. He talks the same way, similar name, even stuff related to his life is similar to the othe guy. So I got my brain screwed again. Am I sick or is this normal? Am I the only one falling for random guys online? Funny thing is that I have lots of male friends but I never ever had a crush on any of them. Internet is evil i swear... now I'm trying to get away from this new guy, but he's like a damn magnet, I can't help myself, gotta talk to him almost every day, if he's awake while I'm awake too, as he's from a totally different time zone (10 hours difference). We're just close friends and he knows I like him alooot, more than I'm supposed to, and he doesn't seem to be annoyed by it. but he never tried to flirt with me or anything, he doesn't want no more online relationships cause they're evil =/. I don't even want more than being his friend, that's more than enough for me heh. But my feelings for him are so strong. And I'm still confused about them. Still there are soo many wrong things about him, anyone would freak out if he told what he told me about his life. But I'm always like 'wooow" and every bad thing makes him even more awesome in my eyes. I don't know what this means but it can't be good.

And now, while waiting for boyfriend to get over the guy that dissapeared, i'm still talking to the other one, even though I promissed boyfriend I won't talk to him anymore (unforunately he found out I like him...). So now if he finds out, I'm screwed. And I can't live without him. But in the same time, I can't just send my friend to hell. And my feelings for him grow more and more every day, with every bad thing I find out about him >.>

Am I sick? Or it will eventually fix itself? How? -_-
sorry if I didn't make sense, I'm sooo tired. but if anyone understood anything out of it, I need an opinion and maybe an advice. If I tell this to clsoe friends they stare at me and don't know what to say. So I avoid talking about this. But it's alooot easier to tell to people that don't know you. Nobody to stare at you like you're an alien.

thanks for reading, if you do
~Z

[vashti]

When you are really ready for a monogamous relationship, these guys on the side will lose their appeal, but it sounds to me like your boyfriend was just looking for an excuse to unload you. Perhaps neither of you are ready.

[Cain]

I agree. You definitely aren't ready for exclusivity because if you were, you wouldn't be talking to other guys when you know you like them.

[Mish]

This thread is too silly to be real

[littlewing]

You can never know who's on the other side typing those words, it might as well be the most disgusting thing ever lived.

No one can see me as I am picking my nose writing this...

[n2u4reelguy]

in any "good " relationship there are do's and don't's; uh, getting close to the other guy, online or not a a don't; what if the shoe were on the other foot would you really be okay with that; U confide and befriend the one you're with not bring in someone of the bench as a back up; you admitted the wrong u did yet cannot understand why he left; until you who you want to be with maybe it's best to chill out for a bit