Was he turned off by me?

[milkshake]

I went out on a first date with a guy and we went to watch a movie and he asked if I had a 10 and I didn't but he said it was ok. Then at dinner, I saw him digging into his pocket, and i had to go to the bathroom really bad. He already paid for dinner and I didn't say anything and we just chatted a little more and he said ready to go? Was it because I didn't offer to pay o.0

I hesitated cuz last time I offer the guy was like you can pay for the movies and he asked me to pay for the movies at times and he sounds kind of cheap. I said I wanted to watch kung fu panda and he said he will go if ur paying and I was like what? a guy should pay? I said that because I was pissed at what and how he said it...

i always offer to pay but not this time because I was afraid of what will happen the next time around and he will force me to pay... as in your turn to pay. I rather offer with someone asking are you sure rather than ok... because I am easily taken advantage of...

But should I tell him I had a great time and next time its my treat? if there is a second date

i mean it was pretty good, given that we talked for about 2 hours during the dinner and he drove me home and we continue to talk and he said he will see me online... but I feel bad lol... i'm just so insecure sometimes

[Bonfire]

I'm a guy and I almost always pay for my dates. But it is generally a good idea for the ladies to offer to pay their share just so you don't come off as someone who is simply using the date for a free meal or a night out. But the trend these days is everyone goes dutch. I think it's a good idea because not all guys are made of money.

You remind of me of my sister who didn't give a guy a second date because he made her pay her share and she thought he was cheap too lol. I don't blame girls for having this mindset "a guy should pay". It's been around for ages. If I was the guy on your date, I would actually consider it a bad sign that you didn't offer to pay. Maybe no second date. You can definitely fix the situation by offering to pay the next time you two went out if you genuinely like the guy.

[MissShrimpy]

Well, I always think it's rude for a girl to say "a guy should pay" in my relationship, we always split it half way. I prefer for him to pay, but he does get a lot more money from his parents than I do a month, to be fair £170 more. I think it's fair that guys who aren't rich, who can't just throw money away, don't want to end up paying for everything and it's nice to know someone else will be able to pay for some things some times. Guys like to be treated too as well.

[HeartIsAching]

If a guy asks you out, he should pay. If a woman asks a man out, SHE should pay. If you decide together to go out, you should at least offer to go dutch.

The belief that men should pay stems from the time in our culture when men had most of the jobs, and women stayed home. This is one of the things that men consider a "double standard" in male/female relationships.

[robertdawson]

In a dating situation I don't think either person should ever have a responsibility to pay for someone else, unless it is a special event like a birthday or something.

Personally, I think people should pay for their own share. If someone isn't willing to pay their own share that makes me think 1) they assume/expect that I'm going to be paying for stuff all the time or 2) they are just going out with me to get a free meal/movie/whatever out of it (unfortunately some girls do this)

These days women have jobs just like men do. I can't think of any reason why a woman can't split costs unless they're married and the wife is a) pregnant and can't work, b) both of you have agreed for her to take care of young kid/s until they're a little older or c) she lost her job or some other deal.

If I went on a date with a girl and she acted like I had to pay I would already be thinking about forgetting about her. I would probably give her another chance though.

[maxmax]

I will usually pay for most things on a date.

That's my choice.

If my date offers to contribute, I will insist it's not necessary, unless she feels more comfortable paying her way.

However, if I girl 'expects' me to pay for everything, then that is generally not a good sign. I respect someone who is willing to contribute and does not expect the night to be a free ride.

At the end of the day, it's not about the money, it's about manners ... that has to go both ways.

[Yet another guy]

Was he turned off by me?

I was like what? a guy should pay?

I wouldn't contact you after that unless you were sarcastic.

[Phoenix23]

I'm a guy and I almost always pay for my dates. But it is generally a good idea for the ladies to offer to pay their share just so you don't come off as someone who is simply using the date for a free meal or a night out. But the trend these days is everyone goes dutch. I think it's a good idea because not all guys are made of money.

You remind of me of my sister who didn't give a guy a second date because he made her pay her share and she thought he was cheap too lol. I don't blame girls for having this mindset "a guy should pay". It's been around for ages. If I was the guy on your date, I would actually consider it a bad sign that you didn't offer to pay. Maybe no second date. You can definitely fix the situation by offering to pay the next time you two went out if you genuinely like the guy.

The only reason it's been around for so long is because for so long women have never worked and were entirely dependent on the man to provide for the date.

You can't have it both ways, all the equality of men now but still expecting all the perks. Most of us aren't made of money, especially when you're working a job perfectly capable of chipping in.