Engaged with a broken heart! Any feedback is appreciated.

[Myloveisextreme]

Hello everyone,

A little history on us first.
So I have been engaged with this woman for about 3months now, I love this woman with a passion. We have been together for about 1 year and 3months. We dont live together and didnt plan to until we were married. We set a date for the end of next year. Things are pretty serious between us, her 4 year old daughter loves me and calls me daddy. I would say that we are commited to each other or at least I thought she was.

So for the past month she has been with holding sex and her excuse is that she is always tired because of her new job. She even gets bothered with any topic that has to do with sex. So I said I would back off and give her some space, but had this horrible gut feeling about someone else being in the picture. I got a text today asking me if i wanted to have sex and i said YES. It was out of the blue and not like her but i didnt think anything of it and just wanted to have sex. So im getting ready to head over and i get a call from her saying her girlfriend showed up and the sex deal was off. I went over there anyway and there was no friend there, my fiance was in the shower, she then asked why i came after she told me not to. I just said i was in the neighborhood and then i asked about her friend. She said she just stopped by for a minute. So while she was in the shower I looked at her phone and saw some pictures that she texted to some guy. a few pics were of her wearing lingerie and a few were toppless. these pics were taken and sent right before she texted me about having sex so now i know why she was stimulated. I didnt confront her about it and i need to really think about what my next step will be. I dont think she has cheated on me yet, at least not physically, emotionally perhaps. I feel like these are grounds to break up but im not sure about anything at the moment because i have a broken heart. Also, if i do end things should i ask for the ring back? Any feedback is appreciated.

[michelle23]

That message was meant for him hun, not for you. Im sorry but yes she has cheated on you. And yes it is grounds to break up. You need to be strong, you will get over her, it just takes time. It is horrible that she has allowed you to get so close to her child only to screw you over like this and ultimately screw her child over too.

I am not sure how you are going to handle that. The kid calls you daddy. You cant just abandon him/her but you do need to break up with her

It is up to you whether you want the ring back or not. You could bring it back to where you bought it and try to get some of your money back

[Valixy]

Obviously the woman you adore is not who you thought she was. I'm sure it's very painful for you at the moment but it's better you found out now than after marring her and having a child together, don't you think? Continuing with her would mean being put in worse situations in the future and that would be much more painful for you. When a woman goes so far, so quickly and so easily, it says a lot about her person too and most of the times there will be a tendency to repeat the pattern.

Despite the great disappointment you're feeling, I think you have been lucky to find all this evidence. This way will be easier for you to make the right decision.

If she hasn't loved you and respected you enough as a partner, I think that you should respect and love yourself as a real man and leave her. She doesn't deserve you.

[Paul07]

myloveisextreme: your love shouldn't be extreme but requited.

[4 ratties]

You can't trust her.. I couldn't go on like this.. It would take a lot of work again.. Now you'll be questioning her more if u continue on and always wondering in the back of your head what she's really doing. I would have a heart to heart with her and let her know how serious this is and see where u guys want to go from there.,

[Myloveisextreme]

Thanks for reading my post and giving me your feedback, it is much appreciated. I woke up this morning hoping this was all a nightmare. It really has not hit me yet, i have not cried yet. I am still in shock and my mind is still trying to process these feelings of disrespect and betrayal. Im at work and have this feeling of numbness, like im a zombie and mentally not here. It is very sad when kids are involved, i love this child as if she was my own. I will truly miss this little girl. I guess the only thing that has really been running thru my mind is WHY? Why did she let me bond with her daughter if she had no plans on being commited to me. I thought about it and tried to see if there was a solution, maybe give her a second chance but then i thought im only fooling myself by thinking that way. I dont think i could ever trust her again. i am going to get myself together and in about a week im going get all my stuff from her house and then ask for my ring back. I didnt deserve this, Someone in this world will be happy with a guy like me.

[Wakeup]

... Yes, get the ring back.

[michelle23]

Well done. That proves you have high self esteem and your strong. Yes any woman would be lucky to have you and you can do better than this. Its sad that a little girl is gonna get hurt in all of this and her mother is a selfish piece of work but sadly there is nothing you can do. Just remember she did this, not you and you have nothing to feel guilty about.