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Thread: Need female opinion please

  1. #1
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    Need female opinion please

    Went on a date last night with a girl and the date seemed absolutely perfect but the ending completely threw me off guard...some background info.

    Im 25, she is 26. We met 2 weeks ago at one of my friends birthday parties in a bar. Hit it off really well and I got her number. Called her 2 days later and invited her to a Cubs game. We go 3 days later and have a great time and end up going bar hopping after but calling it quits around 11 since it was a Wednesday and we both had to work the next day. I grab her a cab, we hug and she leaves(was right outside the ballpark and thousands of people so I didnt expect the first kiss)

    Immediately get a text message saying "Thanks for a great night! I really had a lot of fun!" So obviously things went well. We text on and off for a couple days and I call her 3 or 4 days later asking if I can take her out for dinner or something. We agree on Thursday night(last night) and I plan a picnic and movie in the park(we live in Chicago) and just tell her to wear something comfortable and walking shoes so its a surprise kind of.

    Anyways we go, get setup, have some wine, fruit, sanwiches, great conversation and we seem to click really well. The movie starts around 9(E.T was the movie) and we lie down next to eachother heads touching sharing a rold up blanket. Half way in we crack open the blanket, I put my arm around her and she lays on my chest. Everything seemed to be going great.

    Ill try to fast forward. We packup, grab a cab and head back to her place. About 5 minutes from her place she pulls out a pack of gum takes a piece and offers me a piece. So obviously im thinking we are finally going to have our first kiss. Is that not a huge sign women??? So if you can't guess, I ask the cab driver to wait, I walk her to her door go in for the kiss and get rejected. She said something along the lines of "I don't kiss until the..."and trailed off.

    Now I understand some women don't like to kiss on the first date, but I don't think I have ever encountered someone against kissing on the 2nd date. Especially after what seemed like a perfect date.

    Any advice women or even men I guess? Sorry for the long winded writeup. Just wanted to make it clear.

  2. #2
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    I don't kiss until I'm ready. If she isn't comfortable about it yet, just respect it and don't get weirded out by it....it'll happen when and if it's supposed to. There isn't anything weird about not feeling comfortable enough to kiss someone right away, good date or not.

    FWIW, I didn't kiss my current bf until about our fourth date. That's when it felt right.
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    Your dates went basically perfect, and you're worried about a little kiss?
    There's nothing wrong with the fact that she rejected you. She just has rules that she set, and sticks to them. I think that's admirable.
    You guys were getting closer together, touching and cuddling that one date. She even texted you after a date telling you she had lots of fun. Those are good signs that she's into you. Just keep doing what you're doing, and I'm sure things will go great.

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    Thank you both for easing my mind. Both make perfect sense, I guess I have just yet to encounter someone who wouldn't kiss on the first or second date.

    I was actually going to write it off thiking she wasn't interested and move on. Thanks for the advice.

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    Quote Originally Posted by bluesummer View Post
    I don't kiss until I'm ready. If she isn't comfortable about it yet, just respect it and don't get weirded out by it....it'll happen when and if it's supposed to. There isn't anything weird about not feeling comfortable enough to kiss someone right away, good date or not.

    FWIW, I didn't kiss my current bf until about our fourth date. That's when it felt right.
    If you don't mind me asking, how did the first kiss happen then? Im kind of nervous to keep going in and getting rejected. Do I just wait until she kisses me?

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    The gum may have been a hint that your breath was bad. Be sure before you move in for a kiss that you haven't had onion, garlic, salami, or any other smelly foods to eat unless she had them, too.

    That said, I agree with the others that she probably just wasn't ready yet. I say you try again the next time you take her out (assuming she accepts), and next time she tells you "I don't kiss until...", listen for the rest of the sentence.

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    Quote Originally Posted by shh! View Post
    The gum may have been a hint that your breath was bad. Be sure before you move in for a kiss that you haven't had onion, garlic, salami, or any other smelly foods to eat unless she had them, too.

    That said, I agree with the others that she probably just wasn't ready yet. I say you try again the next time you take her out (assuming she accepts), and next time she tells you "I don't kiss until...", listen for the rest of the sentence.
    I definitely did check my breath. =) Not my first time dating and no we did not have anything to eat that would have caused bad breath.

    Also, she didn't really finish the sentence. Not that I stopped listening.

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    Well then, ask her out again, and try to kiss her when the mood is right... I'd say if you can't get a peck on the lips by date 4 or 5, she is probably not interested in you romantically. Either that, or perhaps she has some religious or cultural practices you should know about.

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    Quote Originally Posted by shh! View Post
    Well then, ask her out again, and try to kiss her when the mood is right... I'd say if you can't get a peck on the lips by date 4 or 5, she is probably not interested in you romantically. Either that, or perhaps she has some religious or cultural practices you should know about.
    Haha, sounds good. Only problem is now I feel as if I'll never know when "the time is right". Going in for the first kiss is hard enough for me. Going in when you have already been shot down once is gonna make it a lot harder.

    We have plans tomorrow and Sunday already. Plans setup before our 2nd date though.

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    You'll get a good idea if she is still interested in you or not, based on the date. I think you should try once more, and if she shoots you down, just ask her flat out if she is disinterested. Scary, I know - but it will save you a lot of time and energy.

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    Quote Originally Posted by shh! View Post
    You'll get a good idea if she is still interested in you or not, based on the date. I think you should try once more, and if she shoots you down, just ask her flat out if she is disinterested. Scary, I know - but it will save you a lot of time and energy.

    Good advice. Unfortunetely tomorrow is not really a date. Its a gathering with some of her friends for her birthday. Sunday im taking her to another baseball game though.

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    Quote Originally Posted by horn4u View Post
    If you don't mind me asking, how did the first kiss happen then? Im kind of nervous to keep going in and getting rejected. Do I just wait until she kisses me?

    Actually, we had just spent a night watching a movie together on his couch. I went to hug him good bye, and he just manoevred his face in front of mine and kissed me. I let him, because I was feeling it.
    Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. - Mohandas Gandhi

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    Quote Originally Posted by horn4u View Post
    ...she pulls out a pack of gum takes a piece and offers me a piece. So obviously im thinking we are finally going to have our first kiss. Is that not a huge sign women???
    uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... no.
    baby ya hustle. but me i hustle harder.


  14. #14
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    新加的空白文章132

    这是新加的空白文章132,可以在UBB可视化编辑器中,添加和修改文章内容。

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    Quote Originally Posted by lmno636 View Post
    这是新加的空白文章132,可以在UBB可视化编辑器中,添加和修改文章内容。
    I agree completely!

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