I had a relationship with a married woman!

[cherrydaveney]

Hi, my name is Daveney. I'm new here so auh, please be considerate with me.

I'd like to ask for your opinion. Don't worry, I won't blame anyone if I'll decide to follow one of the opinions given.

here's my situation:


I'm 21 years old and my gf right now who is actually married is 23 years old. We've been together for 4 months now. We were actually going smooth, I mean, we had a tough but strong relationship for 4 months 'til now. Sometimes, I feel so numb and then she began to argue with me about us committing adultery especially this week which is holy week. I kept on convincing her that God will understand that we love each other and there's nothing wrong with it. She's been forced to marriage by age 20 because she got pregnant to a man she loved for a shorter period of time. Now, she hated that man so much. She got a 1 year plus old baby. I accepted the fact that she's already married, still my heart says I love her and that's the way she is and that I could never change her past. Now, she's free though not legally separated. Her husband was no longer taking part of her life. I'm happy about it. But what makes me down sometimes is her negativism about Adultery committing one of the ten commandments and she always think that there's no excuse with adultery in the eyes of God. I prayed many times and asked God to permit me to love her before I formally courted her. I never saw signs of disapproval. Her parents didn't know about this, neither my parents. We were just keeping this as a secret though most of our close friends knew already about her situation. They said, it's okay since she's already free from her husband but she always think that she can't commit a relationship with me since she's still tied up.

I need your opinions about my situation.

My questions:
1. Is it wrong to love her despite of knowing that she's already married?
2. Will it be okay in the eyes of God, will He permit me? will He accept us?
3. Is it really wrong to be with her with in fact she's already free from her husband though still tied up with the marriage contract because she's still schooling?

Please give your opinions. I would appreciate your opinions. please don't base the situation with the norms of the society, I want your opinion based on how you would react and how you would view the situation.


Thank yOU!

Truly yours,
DAVENEY

[Glyph]

1. It's not wrong to "love" someone if they're married - you can't really put a moral value on who you love. If she's already taken steps to leave her husband, if she's not living with him and all that's left is paperwork? I personally wouldn't worry about it. I'm in the same situation, still married on paper but I just moved into my own place. I couldn't give a rip that he's got a girlfriend and he couldn't care if I had a boyfriend.

2. What's right with your god isn't up to anyone else to decide. What gets me is that she brings up the "holy week" - how hypocritical is that? Holy week or not, that's not the time to suddenly start getting a conscience. As I understand the in's and out's of Christianity, you're supposed to attempt to do the right thing ALL the time. It being a holy week shouldn't make it more or less wrong. What, are you going to "skip" your relationship and then resume it, all with a straight face? Give me a break. I don't think there's anything wrong with your relationship if she's actually taken real steps to divorce her husband and it's a done deal, but if she's got a problem with it and it's "not right by God", then she needs to observe that ALL the time, not just one week.

3. I don't think it's wrong. But I'm not a Christian and this isn't my relationship. You two have to decide what's right for your relationship.

[cherrydaveney]

I need more opinions...thanks glyph..I'm convinced about it.

[Gribble]

Have the two of you had sex? You mention adultery, so I'm assuming you have. Well, far as I know all Christian religions demand that one be married before engaging in the carnal acts. Looks like you're going to hell regardless of her marital status, bub.

Don't worry, you're not alone. Catholics can't even THINK about sex without going to hell. So if it's any consolation there will be many, many Catholics burning right alongside you

[lovesjoyajm]

Catholics can't even THINK about sex without going to hell.

I REALLY hope you're joking...

You must be joking.

Good, he's joking.

[vashti]

Until she is divorced, she is married, and you have no way of knowing whether or not she will *really* divorce her husband until the papers are filed. That being the case, I would say that most people's version of "God" would find having sex with her - a married woman - wrong (and I'm sure you know it), but your clergy person would be the best person to talk to about that. I would be careful, though. You are interfering where an innocent child lives who probably would appreciate having an intact family, if it is at all possible, and the consequences of your actions will have a more immediate effect than some punishment that may or may not be give to you in the future.

[The Great OV!!!]

Catholics can't even THINK

You had truth up to there.

[cherrydaveney]

I guess, our relationship won't really work out. I bet we'll part our ways..(sigh) I don't want this to happen...

[peterhan]

i am sorry i don't know how to help you ,some of my friends met this before .

[cherrydaveney]

i am sorry i don't know how to help you ,some of my friends met this before .

what did they do about it?

[dono]

2. Will it be okay in the eyes of God, will He permit me? will He accept us?

You ****ing idiot. Have you ever thought of the idea that you're your own god? And how the **** are we, as mortals, supposed to know what God wants, if that asshole is actually real? The Bible? Please. That was written by men and translated way too much to be taken seriously.

Do us at LF a favor and start making your own decisions instead of relying on some superficial identity to protect you like a whining pussy. Grow some balls.

[Gribble]

You know what always amused me about the Christian god? He's so deeply concerned with the sex lives of his creations. I liked him better when he was still called Zeus and he was too busy with his own sex life to worry about such trivial crap.

[dono]

You know what always amused me about the Christian god? He's so deeply concerned with the sex lives of his creations. I liked him better when he was still called Zeus and he was too busy with his own sex life to worry about such trivial crap.

Yeah, no kidding. He loves you so0o0o0o0oo much (lololololzzz) but if you **** before you're married, you're going straight to a place where you'll burn forever. No, he won't lose any sleep over it.

Oh, and yes, He sleeps. It took his "almighty" ass 6 days to make a piece of dirt and on Day 7 he has to take a nap.

[lovesjoyajm]

Dono and everyone else who insists on making Christians out to be idiots and religion to be something for idiots, you're obviously entitled to your own opinions, and I might be the only one on the boards offended by your blatant insensitivity, but I thought I'd just voice my opinion. Naturally one encounters anti-religion ism everywhere, but just as in real life I don't seek out the company of those who try deliberately to make me feel stupid, I don't enjoy internet communities with such members. Hopefully the other forums I frequent will be a little more hospitable - I've had enough of this one.

[vashti]

Now to be fair, lovesjoyajm, the original poster *kind of* asked for it. Anyone religious knows that their version of God would consider it bad to sleep with another man's wife.