Love at first sight or...???

[sweetee]

Last week I posted about some male issues I was having. I can't find the post, but it's titled "please, need advice". I spoke about Z, who is the controlling ex-boyfriend, Z, who is the weird one, and Y, who is the guy I had my eye on.

Well, here's the update. I spent a few days with Y. We ended up having sex... yeah, it was good. The next day without me knowing, he told me that it's official. Meaning we are now supposed to be girlfriend and boyfriend. It took me by surprise. I haven't spoken to him yet about that because I don't know how to say I want to take it slow without hurting him. Of course we had sex (and it was good ), but keep in my mind we've been talking for about a month.

I really wanted to do this right, and take our time to get to know each other... Today, while we were kissing each other good-bye, he blurted out "I love you". I acted as if I didn't hear it, but in my head I was thinking, How can you love me so fast?" I don't know what to think of him anymore. He seems like the type of guy who falls too easily. In all honesty, I can see myself with this guy down the line. He can cook, caring, honest, love cats... just about everything I would want in a man, but I want to take my time with him.
How can I let him know that I want to take it easy, without coming off mean?

[Junsui]

Wow, you waited a whole month! Ok, sorry for the sarcasm, but if you're wanting to take it slow you don't start with sex whether it was good or not. He sounds like the clingy/needy type.

[sweetee]

Lol. Funny. I usually wait longer, but this one just happened. We wasn't planning on it... Well, at least I wasn't. Oh, but he do give me my space... I can't read this guy.

[Junsui]

Yeah, I know how that can be. Just sit down with him and have a discussion about the pace of the relationship. He should be understanding of you wanting to take it slow, if he's not then you shouldn't be with him. I have just found that people who claim to be in love so quickly usually become clingy.

[Tone]

Whoa is this the guy I said to go with? I can't remember if it was X, Y, or Z...

Anyways I'd be a little worried with how fast he's moving...

[sweetee]

Yes Tone! Y, was the guy you said to go with.

[clynn]

Just ask him to slow down, that's all.

Hey, don't beat yourself about the sex part. Sex doesn't have to equate to love (right away) and everyone moves at their own pace in many different facets of the relationship. Perhaps enjoying sex is part of getting to know someone (for you).

[Tone]

Yes Tone! Y, was the guy you said to go with.

Whoa! oops!! Boy was I wrong!!

LoL j/k ;P

I agree with clynn... just tell him things are movin a little too fast and see about taking things a bit slower. If I remember right you've known this guy for quite a long time right? If so then it's not AS creepy as if you just met him a month ago and he's sayin he loves you.. LoL

[shh!]

Didn't you say that Y is living with his girlfriend (who is your friend) in your other thread? If so, you are yucky.

[sweetee]

shh!, How am I yucky if he's living with my friend (not girlfriend). Actually, he knew my friend longer than I have. Ummm... yeah... How am I yucky again?

[shh!]

Didn't you say that Y is living with his girlfriend (who is your friend) in your other thread? If so, you are yucky.

If not, there is still an awful lot of man swapping going on in a short amount of time, no? Maybe you want to slow down a bit so you don't get saddled with a loser.

[indigosoul]

He told you he loves you and you ignored him?! Wow. Now, I'm not saying you have to reciprocate, but the fact that you couldn't acknowledge him says...
_________ (something belongs here). I'll let you fill in the blank on this one.

[Rosebud]

Your not going to come off mean by telling someone you want to take things slow as long as you don't come off sarcastic to him. Just tell him how you feel like you told us. I would address the I LOVE YOU thing as well. If it comes up again, I would remind him you want things to go slow and that your happy with the way things are right now and so on..

[sweetee]

I didn't acknowledge him, because he took me by surprise. It was one of those moments like what should I say... When I talk to him whether he's in my presence or not, I seem to freeze up with words. I know what to say, but as soon as I hear his voice I don't know how to say it.


Thanks guys for the advice, and Happy Thanksgivinging.

[Bluevetteracer]

He may not feel that way at all, or maybe a tad, and could be saying and acting this way because he feels he needs to, or that you need to hear it.

Why guys do this is beyond me, I did it a few times myself when I was younger. I was afraid a girl would think that I slept with her just to have a willy-one-time. Then I was will-one-timed by a few girls and figured out that it can go both ways, and be mutual.

Or he could be a "Class 5 Clinger" What do you have to loose by trying it out for month or two.

I don't know what it is about humans that get so turned of when someone is head over heels in love with us. My girlfriend of many years was like you mentioned, she told me she loved me very early on. I never got the marriage feeling until it was too late. After reviewing it sometime latter, her biggest crime with me is that she was madly in love with me.

Is it that horrible that someone could love you from the moment they saw you? Not a lust, but in love with everything about you?

Just some food for thought.