Long Distance Relationship, woes

[The_bobb]

Ok, so here's my story... (i'll try to keep it brief)

I'm 25 years old. My girlfriend of 1 year lives over 2 hours away. We work together sometimes, so i'd say, on average, we see each other for a week a month. By that i mean, some months we won't see each other more than a few times. And other months we'll spend more than week together. Now my job keeps me BUSY, and my schedule is prone to change. So it's very hard to carve out time to visit her and she has no car, further complicating things.

Now get this, she lives NEXT DOOR to her ex... she cheated on him, with me (i was unaware). They had been together for 5 years and were engaged. But lately i've been getting a gut feeling that i should be concerned of her proximity to him. Even though it never bothered me before.

I couldn't spend Valentines day with her because of work and she SNAPPED. And today, she didn't text me all day (which is weird), until a few hours ago, to ask me "If i would mind if she went to a movie with a guy friend". And i don't want to be accused of being controlling so i said, i didn't mind.

So basically, Should i be worried?

Sorry it was so long =(

[lesa]

Wow, how your second paragraph took a major turn.

I don't want to worry you but, yes, I would be worried and I would end the relationship. She is not made of good quality.

Don't torture yourself. I sense that you will if you continue this relationship with this drama.

[IndiReloaded]

Did you apologize for not being able to be with her for V-day AND make alternate make-up plans? Did you send her a gift? This is just general advice for any time you need to cancel on someone.

Hard to know about your GF. She could be feeling the strain of the LDR. They suck in general and rarely last unless a LOT of effort is made by both partners.

Skype much? Its not the same as face to face, but can help.

[The_bobb]

Oh god yes, i apologized up and down. It wasn't so much a cancellation though, nothing was actually planned. She asked if i would be coming up and i said no since i had to work (paraphrased).

And no future plans as of yet =( As i said, work makes it VERY hard to make plans. Usually, to get one day off i have to put in another 12 hours, some other spot during the week.

Unfortunately, No on the gift. That was my fault as i kind of spaced it off. And i apologized for it as well. And i'm working on it.

I just don't know... The only reason her being angry about Valentines Day confuses me, is because she's aware of the kind of schedule i face, since she works in the same job. But since she lives in a smaller town, i think she underestimates the difference in the amount of hours.

Just not sure... and the REALLY sad part is, i'm not sure i want to try anymore =( Which is tough to admit, because i DO care for her.


By the way i really appreciate the advice... My friends are just like "Dump her and lets go get drunk" *sigh*

[lesa]

No Valentine's Day gift for her? Wow, she doesn't sound to high of a priority. Maybe this is your good opportunity to end the relationship if that's what you really need.

[The_bobb]

Maybe it IS time to think about moving on =( I'll have to think on it... Thanks again

(PS: Just been ultra stressed, wouldn't go as far as to say she's not a high priority. I guess i'm just a jack ass)

[The_bobb]

Alright so, baring much in mind. I finally decided to end it. And i wanna thank you guys for your advice.

But also ask something else, This was the longest relation ship i've ever had. And i feel like a complete f**k for doing it... Even though i'm sure i did it for the right reasons and it was the best course of action. I still care for her, but at the same time, i know she can do way better than me.

My question, How do most of you get over the longer relationships? The ones that YOU ended.

[Gigabitch]

Well, start with getting drunk with your friends. Just don't pick up any random rebound chicks. You'll just complicate the situation.

You know what? You can do way better than her, too. You've learned some things this last year, and your next girlfriend will benefit from this. It's all looking right, to me.

[The_bobb]

.....Wow, thanks giga... that actually makes me fell better... (being serious)