Depressing situation...

[veLox]

I will try to keep this short, because I know some people hate long threads and I want everyone to read this.

I recently moved and needed a job quickly, so I took a morning shift at Winn Dixie being a stocker. The pay was crap, and I didn't get full time, but it was money for the time being. I met this woman (the assistant manager) named Vallery. She was the night closer, and I closed with her a few times a week (morning stock wasnt the only thing I did, obviously :p), and we hit it off. She was intellegent, funny, beautiful, everything I look for in a woman. Well, the time came for a new job, and it was much much better than Winn Dixie, so I took it, and moved on. I occationally thought about Vallery, but not nearly as much as I do now. Let me explain.

I walked in one afternoon to buy some groceries, and I ran into her. She was like "hey stranger, how are you?!" and again, we hit it off, making each other laugh, and I wound up staying in the store with her until they closed...helping her do her nightly chores and such. Afterwords, she wanted to see where I lived, so she followed me home. I invited her inside, and we just hung out, watched tv, and had a good time. This happened every day for almost a month, and it eventually turned into us making out, and doing other naughty things (no sex, was close, but I won't go into detail). I found myself falling in love with this woman, but...she is 32 years old, and I am 20. I'm a mature man, and I can handle a 32 year old, there's no doubt in my mind, but...

She's married, with children. I knew it from the start, and did my absolute best to hold back from kissing her that fateful night...but she wanted it so badly, I could tell. She talked about having sex with me when her husband went out of town, and I was all for it, I fell in love with her. I found myself thinking about her all day, everyday. I blinded myself from the fact that she was married, and I let myself fall deeper into it. Well, it came to the point of her feeling guilty of doing the things we did, and in a way, I did too, because I felt like I pressured her into it, in one way or another. I asked the guys I work with for advice, and they all told me to "let her go" but I am-was, honestly in love with her...and I told her that.

One night, she was over, and she told me she didnt wanna fool around anymore. I was fine with that, but I had decided being friends wasnt good enough, because there will ALWAYS be that attraction to her, and holding back would almost be impossible for me. I walked her out when she told me that, and I told her we shouldn't call each other anymore, or even see each other. She cried and I told her I loved her and closed the door. She called me the next morning asking me to explain why I did what I did, and she agreed it was the right choice.

Well she calls me a few days later and asks me to go out with her, and I told myself I'd refuse, but I just couldnt, I've never felt like this about a woman.

Since that night, I havnt called her, or received a call from her, and I hope I don't get the urge to call her, or she calls me, because it makes it worse. I find myself putting myself in situations to see or speak to her, and I really need to stop.

I need some advice on what I can do to get her off my mind. I realize there's absolutely nothing I can do to make her mine, and in all honesty, I was probably just an attention fix for her, but I really need to get over her.

Any tips are appreciated

[RSK]

Okay - So you've made the right choice to forget about her! That's a great starting point. I've known too many people who make the mistake of getting into these types of relatonships - it's not worth it! You'd break a family, she had kids - so I glad you made the right choice.

A general theme in this forum, is that time heels. You say you were in love. Okay, fair enough, but time does heel. You are young (younger than me) - and even though you say your mature - your still a twenty year old!

If your attracted to older women - that's fine, but stay away from married women. Did you know she was married? Did you know she had kids?

--------------------------

You basically want advice how to forget her - so here' some of my suggestions:

Start a hobby - try fishing

Go out with your friends

Meet other women

Watch T.V.

Read a Book

Masterbate (but don't think about her - it would make it worse)

Treat yourself to some Ice-Cream

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My point is, do anything, as long as it does not have anything to do with her!

[veLox]

Thank you for the advice

Yes, I knew she was married and I knew she had kids. I held myself off as long as I possibly could. It was more her looking me in the eyes all the time is what pushed me to kiss her. It was kinda like I was seduced, but I wanted it at the same time.

[Ellynn]

Yeah you do need to move on. The more you see her..the more you are gonna want more with her. Doesn't look like shes gonna break up her home and marriage for you....and you shouldn't expect her to. Things happen....but now you just need to do the right thing and let it go..

[Cybog]

I found myself falling in love with this woman, but...she is 32 years old, and I am 20. I'm a mature man, and I can handle a 32 year old,

Obviously.

I love it when kids talk about how "mature" they are. Particularly when it is followed up by a series of dumb ****ing mistakes. IE this guy.

[veLox]

Obviously.

I love it when kids talk about how "mature" they are. Particularly when it is followed up by a series of dumb ****ing mistakes. IE this guy.

I'm going to ignore that, and be the bigger man here.



I really didn't expect her to leave her man, or her home, I was sort of hoping she might ask me to get a place with her. We discussed it some, but I always changed the subject when she mentioned her baggage (that's what she called it). She doesn't have her kids full time, so that wouldn't have really been an issue, but that was the least of my worries.

As I type this, I feel more detached from the situation because I'm beginning to realize how small of a fling we had. She didn't feel the same way as I did, so it was a one sided thing, so it wasn't meant to be.

Thanks for the advice and your time. As for the guy above me, go drink some bleach buddy

[shh!]

I love it when kids talk about how "mature" they are. .

Haha! I am sure you have noticed that mature adults never feel the need to draw attention to their maturity...