What did I do wrong?

[jbauer]

Hi everyone,

My GF dumped me a five days ago after we've been together for two months. The problem, in my opinion, was in her attitude toward sex.

When we met we both agreed that we are going to go slow, I'm pretty sure both of us looked for a long term relationship. Everything was fine between us, as long as she had her pants on. When that happened it was as if she was possessed by a woman from medieval ages. She wouldn't let me go anywhere near there with my fingers, nor my tongue. There was only one thing she would accept and then she complained that I'm too big for her (I'm an average guy) and that it hurts. Over the time I tried all sorts of things, tried being as gentle as possible (without success), tried being dominant and rough (even worse, she didn't like it), suggested different positions, even suggested getting some toys and nothing worked. Whenever I tried talking to her about this she would say that she needed more time. However, as the time moved on she started planning our dates so that there would be no opportunity for any action, even started bringing her macbook from the office and working after 10 pm, so that she could make me leave. Then she decided to break up with me.

What bothers me now is the question whether I did something wrong and whether this could have worked out differently. From my point of view, it was all her fault. She's incredibly shy about her body and I couldn't find a way around that. I've been with some shy girls, but I've never met anyone like her. And so far no one complained I was too big

So, let me hear what you think. What do you do with a person like her?

I'm now glad that this ended. I like challenges, but it would have taken me some time to realize on my own that this was futile.

[Archie]

Some people cannot change their attitude towards sex, so if she doesn't want you anywhere near her hoohaa, then that'll be the one thing you'll never get from her.
Also, she complained that you're too big and it hurts, fact is, it might be true. You simply physically don't fit together.

There was nothing you could have done.

[pcmaster]

10 precent of girls have smaller vagina than average and 30% have bigger than average. So looks like you met 10% girl here. But really there might be deeper problem. Bot in her body but in her attitude.

[jbauer]

I don't think this was physical problem. Yes she's pretty tight, but I wouldn't say that she's too small for me. The problem is that she sees everything else but vanilla sex as something strange and wrong and even when it was just two of us in the whole house (not counting her cat sleeping downstairs), and the lights were off, she felt like she was on a stage when she was naked.

Thanks for your replies, I guess I needed to hear from someone else that this was hopeless.

How to women become like that? Your private parts are not dirty and we men like to sniff, fondle and lick them, so relax and enjoy it.

- - - Updated - - -

I don't think this was physical problem. Yes she's pretty tight, but I wouldn't say that she's too small for me. The problem is that she sees everything else but vanilla sex as something strange and wrong and even when it was just two of us in the whole house (not counting her cat sleeping downstairs), and the lights were off, she felt like she was on a stage when she was naked.

Thanks for your replies, I guess I needed to hear from someone else that this was hopeless.

How to women become like that? Your private parts are not dirty and we men like to sniff, fondle and lick them, so relax and enjoy it.

[BrandonCodi]

Sniff? Okay... Interesting.

A problem like this is psychological. For future reference, in these types of situations you have to have a lot of patience. You clearly did not. You have to make her trust you to the point where she feels comfortable enough around you that she no longer feels like she is naked on a stage with 1000 people watching. You did not establish this trust. This is why you never saw results.

While it is true that some girls are less sexual than others, the way she responds to you indicates how much she likes you. Sex in this case was clearly for you because she did not like it. She didn't like you enough to be open and try new things with you. I know these things can be frustrating man. Especially when you're all ready to go and you have to convince her she is safe. I would be annoyed too.

Learn from this situation. It's not the end of the world that it is over. Most girls that I've been with haven't been like this. Then again I probably wouldn't have had the chance to be with them in the first place if they were like this. Just accept the situation and move on. At least now you have some insight from other people on how to approach situations like this in the future.

Cheers, brother