Help me identify the problem?

[hellokitteh]

So me and my bf were having a relaxed conversation last night which rapidly turns sour. He claims that I have some huge problem that I cannot figure out and I spent the whole day thinking about it and I already told him what I thought the problem was but it's not that.

This is the part of the conversation where my problem arises:

Me: you lick my pussy like once a month, i should just give you head once a month

Him: you and nicole have the same problem.

The problem is not:
- I don’t say what I want

- I take away things of equal value

I decided to put it in this section of the forum because of the nature of our conversation. I'm really new at having a relationship and I'm desperate to be able to understand how he thinks because I love him so much and want to really really see how he identifies these problems in our relationship. I hope someone can help me out... I'm really really confused and upset...

[nerdy_guy]

Seems like he's comparing you to an ex. maybe his ex give him head more than he licks her pussy?

He shouldn't be comparing you to an ex, especially when it comes to sex. And if he doesn't want to do it, he has no right to demand from you either.

[hellokitteh]

well he knows i don't like nicole and they've never gone out with each other. he did like her at some point but she had a bf and nothing happened.. they're just friends.

[nerdy_guy]

Well, all the more that he SHOULD NOT compare a girlfriend to a f**kbuddy. They're just friends, she gives him head, and he even demands more? There's something seriously wrong with your boyfriend miss.

[hellokitteh]

I think there's a misunderstanding? My bf and nicole just have known each other for longer than i've known him and they've just been friends all this time that talk to each other about problems and I'm guessing I have a problem with what I just said.
I asked him what the problem was but he said he's tired of spoon feeding me and just telling me what the problem is and that I should figure it out.

[nerdy_guy]

Since you put it this way without an explanation on how it worked between them, I assumed she's an ex or a f**kbuddy.
You should have said something earlier

Me: you lick my pussy like once a month, i should just give you head once a month
Him: you and nicole have the same problem.

But now that you cleared that up. Well, I still stand on what I say that there shouldn't be any comparing.
And, more importantly, that's YOUR mouth, not his. Second, he shouldn't pressure you into something that he himself does not want to do (Not suck himself, I'm talking oral in general).

[hellokitteh]

Sorry about that... ^_^;;

I agree with the not comparing. I told him and he didn't say anything about it, just merely insist that there's a problem and I should figure it out.

And I don't think it's cause he doesn't want to do it. I asked him if the problem is that I don't tell him what I want sexually, but he said no.

[nerdy_guy]

So what makes him hesitant to go down on you then?

[hellokitteh]

errr... i think it's cause the last time he did it, i suddenly pushed against him and it hit his mouth really hard and he got hurt.. ^_^;;

[nerdy_guy]

So he's okay with getting hurt once a month then? Anyway, I think both of you are just being silly. Try to talk it out, its just a small matter if that's the case.

[hellokitteh]

thanks... i hope so and we do talk to each other but he makes it so serious and he gets angry and we're both really impatient.

thanks a lot!!

[Mard]

Your pussy has a fungus and it smells????

[dewilliams2]

Well he shouldn't compare you to another woman in that situation period.

But the way I look at it is there should really be keeping tabs on that sort of thing...like I've got you the last three times you should get me three times now. It should be sort of a shared and mutual favor to one another.

I do it quite often and I get bjs quite often...but we don't keep count.

Its not wrong of you to want that more. If he just isn't doing it because its kind of work and not a lot of fun for him well then he is being selfish.....just wait until he is laying down, drop your panties and jump on his face and start grinding.

[vashti]

I think I can help you identify your problem. You have stuck yourself with a guy who doesn't enjoy giving oral sex. I think you should find someone else who does.

[Bella82]

I would simply ask him what the problem is. By him not telling you and leaving you to "figure it out", he's hurting the both of you and your ability to build your relationship on principles of honesty and openness.

I'm also not understanding who Nicole is and what role she has in the situation, esp if they were only friends and never got together? It sounds like he's comparing, and there is no need to try to manipulate you when what he really needs to do is to be honest.

And think about this... in the the few minutes (or less) it could have taken him to be straight with you from the start, you would both already know where he stands, and you wouldn't need to ask us:-)