When to ask for her fathers blessing for marriage

[Tom0822]

Hi All...I was trying to find some answers online and came across this forum, so I figure I'd ask here.
I was wondering how far in advance should one ask a girlfriends father for her blessing? How far in advance did you ask prior to proposing?

[pcmaster]

I would ask no more than 2 weeks before because he could tell mother and then everyone would know. So your girl might end up waiting knowing you will propose.

[searock]

Uh, never? o.O

[chinagirl]

I have no clue... My guess would be 2-4 weeks before proposing??? And keep your fingers crossed that the father can keep it a secret?

[basilandthyme]

Is your girlfriend a very conservative type? If so, she may like that you do this.

But to me, this stuff belongs way back in history when women were passed from father to husband. As a modern woman, the decision of whether or not to marry is mine - and not my fathers. But then again, this advice is coming from a woman who proposed to her partner on the spur of the moment with "hey, do you reckon we should get married?"

Anyway, think about the type of girl she is before you go ahead

[Exeter19]

i've never proposed so i have no been there done that actual advice to give you, but off the time frames you gave, i would do the within 2 weeks. listen to what basil told you, if your gf isn't close with her dad would she care you asked him first?

[basilandthyme]

listen to what basil told you, if your gf isn't close with her dad would she care you asked him first?

Just for clarity, I am close to my dad - but I still wouldn't want him to be asked for permission. It's just such a wrong approach for a modern woman.

[Exeter19]

i get ya, it could give off the feel of she is her dad's property and the guy is asking for permission to transfer the property over? if i was close with a gf's dad i would discuss the idea of asking his daughter, and get his advice but i wouldn't ask his permission because she doesn't need his permission to accept my proposal. some people are very traditional when it comes to all things marriage though, my family isn't that way at all.

[vashti]

Ask for his blessing; it might mean a lot to him, and seeing as how I am fairly traditional, I think it is a really good idea to be sure the family won't be oppositional. In my opinion, you are marrying not JUST the girl, but also her family.

I would probably wait until after the girl has already agreed to marry you, though. His blessing is really more a formality.

[MapleAshes]

I'd say not to ask him... While it is respectful to him, it's disrespectful to your loved one because it takes away some of her decision making power.

[Tom0822]

Just for clarity, I am close to my dad - but I still wouldn't want him to be asked for permission. It's just such a wrong approach for a modern woman.

I'm not asking for his permission. I did not mention anything about asking for permission. I'm asking for his blessing. There is a difference.

As for everyone else's replies, her family is pretty tight and I have met them on many occasions including family functions with her other relatives. Even if I was to ask for his permission (which I'm not), I'm very sure he would say yes because he jokes with her about getting married soon. But out of respect for her and her family, I am asking for his blessing. Like someone mentioned, it's more of a formatily. I know my gf is ok with it because I did mention this in the past.

[Ann32]

I think it's a really sweet and respectful for you to do this! Everyone is different but since you know your gf likes the idea and your close with her family I think you should! I would ask her Dad a month before and I think that even if he did tell her Mom they wouldn't want to ruin the surprise!

Congrats

[hatesthis]

That sounds very sweet and romantic to ask her dad... my sisters guy never asked our father, doubt he even considered it.