Girlfriend abroad

[kalen]

Hello,

I've had this girlfriend for 3 months and now she left for portugal for 10 days on a thingie that allowed her to pay only for 30% of the transport and she's bound to come back in almost a week.
The thing is, I called her yesterday, and she said that she needs to **** and is horny all the time and she'll go mad till she returns. Is there any reason to be concerned about her getting it on with another man? The thing is, for these three months we've been together, she doesn't do anything to make me believe that she would cheat. As in she is completely disinterested in other men.
And also she says that she is busy all the time and almost always tired and that she leaves her phone at the hotel and that's why she hardly replies to my messages. (The tired part and the phone at the hotel part are true, she almost always leaves her phone home when she goes anywhere , including with me, and she gets tired easily).
So , if there is any cause for concern, how should I handle it?
Thanks

[Niccitine]

As a girl that travels very frequently and has a boyfriend that is concerned about such things I can let you know my side of the story. She may simply be telling you how horny she is so that she gets the appropriate home-coming she wants. I'm talking about lots of passion and romance and effort on your part, doesn't have to be much... just some red roses and a lots of foreplay, making sure she's glad for the wait... Even tell her what you plan to do for when she get's back so she has something to look forward to and will be less tempted while she's away. Then as a future preventative buy her a rampant rabbit vibrator from ann summers. They're quite expensive but very worthwhile. This way She can take it with her on holiday and curb that horniness a little... Hope this helps.
BTW If you trust her then trust your instincts that she'll stay true. If she's really that honest even if she does cheat I doubt she'd manage to hide from you so you don't need to second guess..
Good luck

[kalen]

heh true

but another problem
If she does cheat and i find out or she tells me , how do I handle it without dumping her and without making her believe that "eh , as long as i tell him, i can get away with it" ? I wouldn't really want to dump her for that , as it would be something like a one night stand , not a relationship that she'd had behind my back for some time.

Umm ,also , i gave her some roses once and she said that she didn't really like flowers, although was pretty happy by the gesture. Got in mind any other replacement for flowers that would have the same effect?

Thanks

[sookie6]

I wouldn't really want to dump her for that , as it would be something like a one night stand , not a relationship that she'd had behind my back for some time.

You now sound like a doormat. unless you two are having an opened relationship this statement makes you look like a puppy dog who would accept anything from his girl...and thta's not sexy...so if you want some respect do not tell her she'd be okay straying...as she will first lose respect for you and secondly think you don't really care...

[Niccitine]

Tell her that you're severely hurt and disappointed and that she's betrayed your trust. Make her understand that she's going to have to earn your trust back but that you think she deserves a second chance but be firm and let her know that you won't let it slide again. Don't shout at her because that will just make her angry back but don't be afraid to show her how hurt you are.

Ok, what does she like? Card is too small so I suggest a teddy bear, Chocolates, bath salts or massage oil, or something personal. how old is she and what sort of things does she like and keep round her room. And if she's really into sex then buy her something cute and cheeky from ann summers. I personally love ann summers, it's got more than just sex toys so have a look at the website and see if they deliver to your area.

Need help with anything else? Hope this helps you.

[kalen]

I didn't say that i'd tell her that. The question was, how to solve the hypothethical issue without coming off as a doormat
And I didn't say that I'd be perfectly ok with that, if it happened once i'd be really really pissed and angry and stuff, on the second one i'd dump her straight. I said that i wouldn't like to dump her for this, not that i'd be all "honey, it's ok, i don't mind".

Hmm, thanks Niccitine

[sookie6]

I didn't say that i'd tell her that. The question was, how to solve the hypothethical issue without coming off as a doormat
And I didn't say that I'd be perfectly ok with that, if it happened once i'd be really really pissed and angry and stuff, on the second one i'd dump her straight. I said that i wouldn't like to dump her for this, not that i'd be all "honey, it's ok, i don't mind".

Hmm, thanks Niccitine

Ok. I think you're doing too much worrying over something that has not happened or is not likely to happen. Next time she tells you she is starving for sex, tell her you are craving it too. This will balance out the fear of losing each other on both side...but please stop thinking about this now..it's not even a real issue.

[kalen]

yeah, i know
well, thanks for the encouragement and stuff

[doppelgaenger]

Hi Kalen. Are you really from Serbia? I just got back from there a few weeks ago.

Don't worry about whether or not your GF cheats on you - if she does, then decide how to handle it or come here for advice. She probably won't, though.

[kalen]

nope, i'm from romania. Just didn't find the RO on the country list and i was too lazy to search for it.