How can I act more confident?

[redhead]

Basically I'm nearly 25 and I've only had sex a few times that was with a boyfriend that I had when I was 18. I didn't enjoy at all it was excruciatingly painful and I don't mean normally painful I mean really bad. Anyway it pretty much put me off. The guy and I split up because he wanted sex and I really didn't. At the start before the sex I had found other things enjoyable but once the issue of sex came up it just put me off everything so I really didn't think that I could have a normal sexual relationship I thought there was something physically wrong with me and I was way too embarrased to go to the doctors about it. Anyway since then for the next few years I just have been really off guys, I'd be interested in a guy and find them attractive and then we'd go on a couple of dates and then once the possibility of sex came up I'd just totally freeze up on them and not date them again. I finally decided that I couldn't go on like this, went to the doctors and eventually got my problem sorted out. Anyway I now feel really really ready for lots of sex but I'm not the most confident person in the world anyway and the fact that I don't have the same amount of experience as most girls my age (I've only ever had sex in the missionary position and doggy style and found it too uncomfortable to really have any fun with it or experiment much) isn't helping any.

Anyway theres this guy I really like him, we used to work together so we know each other a bit and I know he likes me too. I'd really like to see him but I know this isn't going to turn into a relationship because we don't live that close to each other, I've just started with a very busy new career and he isn't into long term things but I'd really like to have a fling with him, but I feel really inhibited because of my lack of experience. I really don't want to explain this sorry little story to him because its not going to be a serious thing and because its basically a bit of a passion killer and I think that he will think because I've only previously had sex with one guy that I'm secretly looking for something really serious and it'll put him off me.

Does anyone have any tips of things that I should do and things that will please a guy so that I don't feel totally clueless when it comes down to it. I need all the confidence building I can get and I want it to be good fun for both of us, I don't want him thinking i'm crap in bed and I don't want to be inhibited by shyness. I've let this affect enough of my life and I'm not going to let it get me down any longer. I really want to have a normal active sex life - and I'm feeling pretty sexually frustrated as you can probably imagine. I've read a few books but it just doesn't seem like reality in a book if you know what I mean. Is it possible for me to act like I know what I'm doing and not be too awkward.

Girls tell me what works best, and guys tell me what you like please!!!

[schueys_girl]

its hard to say what works best as a girl mate because guys are different and prefer different things. I could tell you what my man loves but it mite not help you because the guy your with mite hate it! The only advice i can give you is to face your fear, the only way your going to get more confident is to have sex, and the more you do the better and more relaxed you will feel! I know it will be hard and unfortunately some men may not be understanding, but when you find a nice man who is mature and cares about you he will and you will be able to enjoy sex
good luck mate -x-

[redhead]

Thats what I'm thinking, stop worrying about it and get on and enjoy myself. Should I ask him what he likes though?
Its been a LONG time for me, I don't want to make a complete idiot out of myself.

[gsgann22]

or better yet <evil grin> you can practice with me and I will give you some pointers.

[Junket]

Go like this, "This day, I am more confident!"

[III Angie III]

Redhead: The fact that you've managed to refrain from having volumes of sex partners/sexual relations is something you should be proud of. Relish in the fact that though you may not have experience, you don't have a hungry mouth (baby) to feed .... and the chances of you being a carrier of a STD or AIDS virus is minimal.

When you love the one you're with, knowledge will be natural and you will satisfy your partner to the highest of all levels. In addition, you will be able to communicate with one another your sexual likes/dislikes.

[redhead]

I'm defintely more confident than I was - I used to avoid social situations etc, but I think that this would be the final step to getting me on track. I'm just not in the kind of position at the moment where I would have a serious relationship but I guess its best to just see how it goes. I really like this guy and I know he likes me so who knows.