My advice about a girl(s) came back to bite me in the ass!

[eugene]

Let me start off with this; I'm 16. Never had a GF. Never *really* kissed a girl.



So from that you probably think, 'oh some high-school unattractive shy dork'. Nope.

I'm actually quite good looking, and I'm not saying this because I'm arrogent (I am, I proudly admit) or stuck up or anything like that. In fact there were times were I was pretty darn ugly, I have a medical thing and had to take pills that really had some nasty side-effects like these sort of zits and being a fatty...

But as of right now, I have a perfect weight I'm muscular, I'm not very tall I've always been short but not so much anymore. I got a six-pack even!

I've always been a good guy, I'm not a mean ******* like a lot of idiots I know from my school, I'm funny, always been quite confident.

Girls-- they do like me.

Heres the thing, I have never in my life really met a girl that I liked. I hardly tolerate most girls in my school because they are vain, truley STUPID, daddy's -little-girls... I'm really out of luck in regards to my school in terms of the people, especisially girls, who go there.

I've been dreaming about meeting a girl since I was like 11, I remember the summer before I want to Jr. High I thought that "hey, new girls will be in my class, lots of new people I'm bound to meet someone"...

Instead the girls that did join my class were some of the ugliest most obnaxios humans I have ever seen in my life.

The summer before this year, I thought "high school, there HAVE to be good girls here", same thing.

Heck, I read books. Nobody I know my age reads anything. I have nobody to talk to about what I read, it sucks. And I read great stuff that are really outside of my age scope, like shakespeare and asimov and hitchikers guide and catch22 and da vinci code and catcher in the rye, I can go on...

Point is, I'm 16. I don't feel 16 at all. I like woody allen films and music from the 60's and 70's when the movement was alive and sticking it too the man.

And nobody my age or any age really ever got me. I wish I could be more shallow like everybody else, and I dont mean it in a stuck up way, I really dont enjoy being so alone in a way. Sure I got friends but they only connect to part of me.

Anyway, why all this long rant that you are probably sick of reading? Well, I always thought that all I need is time, I'll grow up, the people around me will grow up and things will change. I'm having doubts about that, but anyway I thought that I'd start meeting girls later... not a happy thought. I admit that being 16 I'm horny a lot but I just so want to be with a girl, to love a girl, to just hug a girl.

[eugene]

And now something horrible happend, I realize I like this girl!

Does that seem psychophrenic? let me explain.

In Jr. High, first year, that was 7th grade... amongst the beasts that joint my class were a few nice girls I guess that were not bad looking either. But they werent really all that great either.

Anyway one of them is called Liana.
A guy who I knew from the 6th grade started hanging around her and ended up being with her. Good for him.

A new friend started to want her, and was really obssesed and driving me nuts how he wants her and loves her. I told him to just tell her, I always thought that when I'd be in his shoes I'd just tell her.

He didnt, instead the idiot guessed her email and she found out, big mass. They didnt happen, I doubt they could have happend because he was an *******, I only realized that later and I dont really talk to him anymore.

Then (I dont remember when, this streches accross 7th-9th grades) she was the GF of somebody from our class for a very short while, he was a fat dude who was once a really great guy but turned into a very very bad person, in fact he has a police record now. How people changed...

Anyway I think she was even afraid of him, but she broke up with him quickly. Then she was on again with the 1st guy.

THEN, my best friend (whom I met in the 7th grade) tells me he likes her, my other best friend admits he likes her sister.

I tell them both they are wusses and should tell them and stop nagging like heartbroken poets.

My best friend didnt tell her but after a while it was obvious to her and nothing happend in the end and he got over her. I hope to god.

Then this year suddenly they tell me (my two best friends) that I like her, heck love her, just as my best friend did and they wanted me to admit it to them.

I didnt know what they were talking about, but I now realize it might be true. I dont know why! god help me, I have no clue. Shes good looking I supose, and she is a good person, but she is so diffrent then me. Theres a lot of reasons I can tell you about how she is just not right for me... but I cant help it.

But how can I admit it to my friends? I wasn't very understanding before, I told them they were being silly and that its great they found somebody and they should just tell and not play games.

But I cant tell her. I cant.

I dont know, sometimes shes great, but sometimes shes just sort of cold and even mean to me and I do think she likes me, but maybe not in that way.

I was sick for like a month and I realized all of this at the time and decided then when I get back I'll tell her, and she was really great to me when we talked on the phone. SHE called me, really the only person who called when I was in the hospital... she even told me she got a birthday present for me. I never got presents from anybody. She suddenly got me one??

But when I got back she just started being diffrent, and it was hard enough to imagine being with her before...

I dont know. I really want to tell her and I really dont want to love her either.

[updraft]

Hey there Eugene;

I think you sound like a wonderful guy (gee if only I was 20 years younger ~ hee hee) You sound very genuine and your plight touches my heart. I truly feel for you but keep this is mind: you're still *very* young! So please do yourself a favour and keep it real and stop "trying" so hard.

Sometimes you'll meet the best people when you're not even looking. Its true you may not meet the *one* for you at school or while you're hanging out with your buds, but they could be other ways to meet *her*. What about joining some clubs after school or get a part-time job in a place where you could potentially meet nice girls....What interests you>? If you could give me some ideas I could make some suggestions...

I know its hard to wait and be patient, but try. You sound like a guy a girl would be proud to show off. Gee and you have manners too. Thats' rare. Take care.

~L

[eugene]

Well thanks for that, but you must have posted while I wrote the second post.

I dont want to get a part-time job, I actually make quite a lot of money in my spare time as it is. (internet stuff)

And I can't stand clubs, that stupid trance music repeating over and over and over and over and over again the same crappy note. The drums you know? dum dum dum dum. And people "dancing" by just jumping up and down... what happend to real dancing? I mean, crappy music in crowded clubs always been around... disco for example. But at least it wasnt that bad. If I was alive in the 70s I'd totally dance like travolta.

No, I dont want to go to clubs. And I realize I'm young, but its just-so-lonely. It's like I'm heartbroken about a girl I never meet, a dream, a vision of a person...

This girl that I like now, I cant explain to myself why I like her. I guess because there isnt anybody else whose decent... shes a good girl, but I'd never thought of her like that before. I just somehow cant see it.

[updraft]

Well Eugene, one thing is certain: you have substance and the girl you're seeking will have substance. Its ok you dont have to go clubbing or get a p/t job, I was just trying to come up with ways to meet potential gf's while doing things that interest you.

As for the girl who caught your eye, that's great! Just don't waste too much time trying to get up the courage to talk to her or someone else will grab her! Don't put too much pressure on yourself but maybe befriend her and strike up conversations, see if the same things interest you. Don't let life pass you by.

oh and btw: I love the 70's !!! Thats my era!! Travolta rocks!

[eugene]

I was born in the worst possible times, the 90's have nothing going for them except nostalgy for better times. Oh that, and "smells like teen spirit". Pfft.

I just feel like I missed out.

Anyway, yeah so I have substance I guess. It doesnt make me suprior that I read books or watch real movies and not blockbuster crap.

Heck, its more of a disadvantage, I wish I could be more like the people around me, I wouldnt feel so agonized, phrases like "the unbearable cruelness of being" wont pop into my melodromatic little head.

And this girl, well... I try to be her friend, and it looks like we are but then she suddenly just rejects me. It's weird to say this about a person you might love so I'll mispell it... sometimes she's a real beach towards me.

She has no idea what the hell shes missing out on. rrrrr.

[updraft]

Don't beat yourself up over your lifestyle and personality. You are you and you should celebrate that you think as a mature individual. You may be mature far beyond your years....my boyfriend is the same and I'm older by 8.5 years....we have a fabulous time together

[eugene]

Yeah, well I hate to think what I'll be like when I'm 40.

Whats so fun about being mature? I'm not mature, I'm a young spirit and I'll never growup, call me pan call me peter pan, call me what have you...

I'm just diffrent then the people around me in what seems to be a more mature way. Because of the books I read, because I read books, the music... but I undestand that being like some mindless sheep is stupid, but being the ONLY person like me that I know is not fun!

And life keeps disillisionizing me, went to Jr. High people didnt get better they got worse, went to high school nothing is changed. Right now I'm saying to myself that when I go to uni I'll meet people like me but if you predict the future based on history that isnt going to happen.

So what, when I get a job then? It doesnt mean that people will be any diffrent just because they work in the same field I'll work in.

I have no social circle or frame to fit into, its really not good for a person my age its bad enough I have to raise myself instead of my parents.

I dont want to be mature dammit! I want to like the girl I'm in love with.

And nice guys never get the girl, the assholes and the jocks do...

[mhussain]

eugene ...

the world is what it is and u r what u r ... there is no way u can reverse time and be born in the seventies (if u can can u take me with u?) ... so learn to live and love this age

if u like her .. and dont want to tell her , thats understandable ... its easier to risk life and limb than emotions ....

u say she was the only person who called u when u were sick ... thats makes her a very considerate person ... she had a b'day present for u .. that makes her a very good friend ... none of these make her someone who loves you ....

whether she loves you or not .. can only be decided by letting her know that u like her ... there is no way other than that ....

u might say going through mutual friends ... dude if u want to by all means do so .. my advice , dont. rest is upto you ...

its like bungee jumping without knowing whether u are tethered or not ! and there is not way of knowing that until u feel the pull ...

u have to risk ur emotions sometime in ur life....

bets of luck

and hey

congrats on ur having a six pack and stuff but with due respect , that doesnt give u the right to call anyone ugly ... no matter how vain and stupid they are

ciao

Hussain

[eugene]

I never called anybody ugly because I have a sixpack, what I meant was that I always dreamed that "next year" new girls will join my school/class that are actually good looking and nice. I dont know why the hell there are so few good looking girls in my school and just about zero nice ones...

I'm not some little kid to go thru mutual friends, if I am going to do something I'll do it myself.

Thing is this; 1) I dont want my heart broken, looks like thats going to happen.
2) Its akward because when other people were in my shoes I wasnt very understanding

I'll do it in a heartbeat, I was going to do it when I realized it, but she... she started being mean to me sometimes. When I try to talk to her its like a wall, what am I supposed to do?

[updraft]

OUch! Ok it seems you're a bit defensive about certain things, so I will only say this: you may have to wait awhile for the right one to come along, or until the one you like right now starts noticing you.

While I can understand some of your frustration, I also feel you bottle things up inside and probably vent (like you're doing here) in order to let off the steam. There is nothing wrong with this....just remember we are people dispensing advice who are older, wiser and more knowledgable about the world and we are trying to help...

About university: there are thousands of people for you to be interact with unlike a high school setting....and the chances are much better for you to meet someone with a similar personality and interests ....

Hope things work out,
Cheers.
-Lisa

Yeah, well I hate to think what I'll be like when I'm 40.

Whats so fun about being mature? I'm not mature, I'm a young spirit and I'll never growup, call me pan call me peter pan, call me what have you...

I'm just diffrent then the people around me in what seems to be a more mature way. Because of the books I read, because I read books, the music... but I undestand that being like some mindless sheep is stupid, but being the ONLY person like me that I know is not fun!

And life keeps disillisionizing me, went to Jr. High people didnt get better they got worse, went to high school nothing is changed. Right now I'm saying to myself that when I go to uni I'll meet people like me but if you predict the future based on history that isnt going to happen.

So what, when I get a job then? It doesnt mean that people will be any diffrent just because they work in the same field I'll work in.

I have no social circle or frame to fit into, its really not good for a person my age its bad enough I have to raise myself instead of my parents.

I dont want to be mature dammit! I want to like the girl I'm in love with.

And nice guys never get the girl, the assholes and the jocks do...

[mhussain]

hi eugene

what u r supposed to do ? hmmm only u can decide that my friend

ask urself what would u rather want ... that u never asked her and hence never knew ..or that u ask her and see what the future actually holds for you ....

life is full of uncertanities my friend and there will unfortunately be atime when u will feel hurt or pain , i am sorry for that but thats the way life teaches u .

dont be afraid of pain ... its a great treacher

best of luck

Hussain

[eugene]

You would really fit at my school. But you don't have to be so mature all the time. Its high school, try to have fun and maybe find some new people to hang with who are more intelligent.

Get this: I am the only human being I know who finished reading a book that I didn't have to read. Everybody here just behave like little paris hilton types and no amount of good looks (thats debateable if paris has, but most here surly dont) justifys being like that in my eyes.

And I have fun, I'm a fun guy, come on you havnt being paying attention. I'm like Fonzy I tell you.

[updraft]

How is anyone going to know you're a fun fonzy guy if you dont' ask them out?????

[eugene]

OUch! Ok it seems you're a bit defensive about certain things, so I will only say this: you may have to wait awhile for the right one to come along, or until the one you like right now starts noticing you.

While I can understand some of your frustration, I also feel you bottle things up inside and probably vent (like you're doing here) in order to let off the steam. There is nothing wrong with this....just remember we are people dispensing advice who are older, wiser and more knowledgable about the world and we are trying to help...

Hope things work out,
Cheers.
-Lisa

I know I know, I am venting nothing personal, I just need to complain right now. I never thought that me of all people will go on a "love forum" and vent but thats life for you. I'm soooo making fun of myself later.

And thank you Lisa and the other pips who replied, you do help.

mhussain, answer me this, you like this girl, things go really well until you realize you like this girl who you never in a million years you thought of as anything but a friend because you my dear hussain are an egonized sevant in a sea of shallow teenagers.

As soon as you can you want to tell her, never mind that shes totally wrong for you and wont get you at all, so you get back and see her and want to tell her and be with her... and shes MEAN to you.

I dont think anybody ever hurt my feelings like that, and I've had it tough with people and hurt feelings in my life. My childhood was crap.

What am I supposed to do, shout at her that I love her?