Hello everyone!
I stumbled on this forum and have read quite a few post, but either I'm not that great at searching or what I'm looking for doesn't exist. So, here it is. This is where I'm at and I'd love a non-biased opinion.
I met this girl over the internet on eharmony. She lives 700 miles away and we've both traveled back and forth for the past 6 months. Out of the 6 months, we've spent about 3 months together. I'm 34 and she is 42. We are different in many ways and don't have a lot in common. I'm really easy going and nothing really stresses me out. She is more high strung and has a hard time just relaxing, she's always doing something. I'm much lazier, even though I work a lot and take care of myself, I just don't have the same drive that she does when it comes to taking care of the house, cleaning, etc. We definitely have different personalities, but that doesn't really seem to create too many problems. We've learned to get along pretty well. However, there is one really big issue for me. She had a very rough childhood and was always put on the back burner. The only time she was ever heard was when she got angry and made a big scene. Her mother is still that way and will fly off the handle over little stuff. Consequently, she is unable to communicate her true feelings, even over little things, without getting angry. We will argue over simple stuff, like where we want to go and eat. I could just get in the car and drive around until I found a place, but she is much too rigid to just go with the flow. I found that after being together for a few weeks we would just argue over stupid stuff. I don't feel that I'm the instigator, even though I know that sometimes I go along for the ride when I shouldn't. It got so bad that I actually changed my plane ticket and came home 4 days early because I felt that it just wasn't worth all the tension. This has totally broken her heart because she has never been with someone so easy going and as nice as I am. She has admitted that she knows she has a problem communicating and that she is angry too often. She has signed up for an anger management class and seems to really be willing to change. So, here is my real questiion (finally, I know, thanks for reading!), can she actually change? I want to give her a chance because there are a lot of reasons that I feel we're good for each other, but I'm scared that I'll end up with a bitter angry relationship. What should I do??? Even if she learns from the anger management class, can I actually expect her to be more laid back and be able to communicate her feelings without getting angry?
Thanks a lot for taking the time to read this, it is greatly appreciated!