Don't know if I'll change my mind on marriage.

[Junket]

You all know I have no interest in it, but my g/f says of course she does further down the line.

It seems to have a bearing on her decision to move to Philly with me, though I'm not sure why since she says she's not interested in getting married anytime soon. Whether that's a lie or not, I'm not sure.

This is more of a vent because I can't imagine how any of you would manage to change my mind when she can't. I'm too bullheaded.

And apathetic towards the subject.

[ecojeanne]

wow i couldn't believe the heading on this thread.

if you're apathetic about it then you're not principled which suits by the looks of things. just get married for the sake of making the situation appeasing and happier then.

thing is for me i believe in God but not the religion that goes with my family and the ceremony. i have decided i never want to get married because both financially and emotionally men are pussies nowadays and have nothing to offer and i have more to lose and having no marriage legalities in the way i as a woman will have more rights if children are involved. tbh it's in your interest as a man to get married these days if children are involved. i as a woman with assets will never because overall i am better off. you as a man are better off getting married

[AdminOnline]

errr... i guess not the right forum to post this...

[CocoChanel]

In my own words, let me make sure I understand what you are venting about.

You don't want marraige.
She would like it in the future, and you think this is weighing on her decision to move with you.

Moving to Philadelphia is a major decision, so is marriage. You both aren't getting any younger and it seems like she is trying to lay a foundation for herself. Maybe it is weighing on her decision to move and it should because you are the man she loves and she doesn't know where things will end up.

[Junket]

I don't see how that makes any sense.

I don't have children, so why would there be incentive for me?

[ecojeanne]

to make her happy, and if you ever do have children you will have more rights. well that's how it works here in ireland and lately ireland has the same laws as the UK and international laws

interestingly i have a friend that was telling me she wants to get married. she said the marriage meant more than actually having a family. to me i want a family, i don't care about a wedding, she wants to be a princess for a day, i want the forever. there are a lot of women that want what she wants. it does seem strange to me

[Junket]

errr... i guess not the right forum to post this...

Yes it is, because we're not discussing love, we're discussing marriage which has less to do with love than it does with someone's principles.

In my own words, let me make sure I understand what you are venting about.

You don't want marraige.
She would like it in the future, and you think this is weighing on her decision to move with you.

Moving to Philadelphia is a major decision, so is marriage. You both aren't getting any younger and it seems like she is trying to lay a foundation for herself. Maybe it is weighing on her decision to move and it should because you are the man she loves and she doesn't know where things will end up.

Moving to Philadelphia isn't as big a decision from where we stand since neither of us are living at home. Leaving home for a place that's unfamiliar would be a bigger decision, but we're both in limbo since she's from the Dallas area, and I'm from Philly, living in New Orleans.

[Mish]

Do you ever want to have kids further down the line?

[misombra]

sounds like she just wants some assurance that you're not going to dump her and she'll be sort of on your turf and somewhere she wouldn't be familiar nor would she know anybody.

also her family might be pressuring her get married.

ask her if there's any compromising.

[Junket]

I know her family is pressuring her.

She said it herself.

Dating for 3 years is pretty unheard of in the traditional South.

[CocoChanel]

It's still a decison for her because it's moving into your comfort zone and not hers. Without this being the defense, I'll move forward.

Why are you against marriage?

[Junket]

Because I don't believe in it.

[vashti]

You're too young to consider getting married. She's not, at least not for long. You are at different stages in your life. She is right to be thinking hard about this.

[ecojeanne]

he's not that young is he?

[Junket]

I'm 23.

She's 27.