Is he worth the effort?

[Kirby247]

Have known this man for 4 years now. He was married when we met. Lived in another city and saw him at my workplace a couple of times a month. Definite attraction on both sides. Just friendly visits, phone calls, and text messages. Spoke on a fairly regular basis - at his initiation. No physical relationship. He did say he loved me. He did express trouble in his long term marriage and said he would like to be with me but wanted to see things through in his marriage if it was salvageable. I agreed that he needed to do what was right. Contact lessened considerable after that. About 18 months ago he called and said he was getting divorced. He came to town about 5 months later. We had not seen each other for about 8 months at that time. Texts and calls began again for a few months. Then he faded off. At this point I had not spoken to him in about 9 months - just general holiday texts. This week he texts at 6 a.m saying he still loves me. ???????? What is that about? I have NOT responded to this text or the phone calls that followed. He knows that he disappeared for some time and does not know how to approach. Plus he does not know whether I am involved with someone else. I am not.

I KNOW that he does have strong feelings for me, but I also think he is keeping his options open. I think he got involved with someone after the divorce and it probably didn't work out. So . . . plan B.


I just want the male perspective as to what he may be thinking. I get that he is recently divorced (3rd time) and needs to adjust to being single again. This is a 60 year old man. Why would he behave in this manner. I initially thought that he was a trustworthy and honorable man. His actions are proving otherwise.

Any thoughts/insights would be greatly appreciated. I really did see a future with this man and sincerely thought he felt the same way. What is he thinking?!

Thanks,

Kirby

[Wakeup]

Did you have a "physical" relationship after he got divorced?
Are you even sure he got divorced or are you just going on his lack of integrity word on that?


Anyway: He's been married and it failed THREE times. Is that correct? If it is then it's understandable why his unions don't last if he's having emotional affairs with naïve and gullible women who think he's the bees knees when in reality he's a cheater who gets involved with new women before he finishes with the old one(s).

He's mind fvcking you right now and it's working... to the point where you're asking strangers what he may be up to. What difference does it make? He's proven to you now (as well as at least three other wives that he is an asshole that should be ignored.

Block and delete so he can't screw with your mind, not a second more.

He's a douche-bag and I suspect that any "strong feelings" he had or has for you are restricted to his pants.
Either that or he's still married and only contacts you when his wife won't catch him.

[andytownsend]

Make sure he's already divorced. This man is really shady. If he really wants you then he'll be with you. Not stop communicating with you for a few months.

[fearoflove]

Your words are a contradiction. He can't be in love with you and disappear on you for months/involved with someone else at the same time.