Was I played?

[curiousgirly]

I met this really nice Virgo guy online. We went on 5 dates, and on the 5th date we ended up having sex in his place. It was pleasurable and nice until it was over and I told him I wasn't staying the night in his place and woke him up so I could go home. He was upset about me not staying the night but didn't say much about it. I kept apologizing for having to leave but he didn't respond to my apology...

I left and texted him thanks, etc and he never replied. It's been 2 days now and I haven't heard from him since then. Was I played or is he just pissed that I didn't spend the night? I'm so confused.

[Wakeup]

How sweet, "a really nice virgo man." Well then if he was so nice I'm sure he didn't play you but rather you just jumped into bed before you knew his intentions. Which is fine but what isn't fine is you expected something to develop just because there was sex.

Did you have the common sense to discuss what would become of the relationship now that you were intimate? If you'd both close down your profiles? Would you become exclusive while you discovered if there was enough there to for an actual relationship? That you'd like to cook him dinner on (insert date here?) to see what he thought about that Or, did you just say thanks and goodnight while you remained in the dark about his intentions?

Is he still logging on every night?

[curiousgirly]

How sweet, "a really nice virgo man." Well then if he was so nice I'm sure he didn't play you but rather you just jumped into bed before you knew his intentions. Which is fine but what isn't fine is you expected something to develop just because there was sex.

Did you have the common sense to discuss what would become of the relationship now that you were intimate? If you'd both close down your profiles? That you'd like to cook him dinner on (insert date here?) Or, did you just say thanks and goodnight?

Ok. I wasn't too smart. He told me that he was looking for a relationship not casual sex. We haven't discussed the aftermath of the sex sessions, we were exhausted afterwards and I had to rush home. So sue me

[HeartIsAching]

Does it matter?

Either he's pissed and unable to communicate with you about it, or you got played... either one you don't want. Time to move on.

[leoben]

If he was playing you then he'd probably dance for joy when you left rather then get pissed off. Sounds more like a needy guy who was looking for a higher level of affection.

[Wakeup]

Ok. I wasn't too smart. He told me that he was looking for a relationship not casual sex. We haven't discussed the aftermath of the sex sessions, we were exhausted afterwards and I had to rush home.

Well I'd imagine that's why he was pissed off. He was tired and you woke him up.

So sue me

I'll have my lawyer call your lawyer ...

[curiousgirly]

He didn't drive me... I drove myself home Wakeup. I told him I'd just leave without waking him up but he said it would be rude if he didn't walk me to the door and open it. I kept apologizing, don't know what else I would have done differently.

Leoben, I think you're right. He first of all apologized saying he hadn't performed at his best during the sex because he didn't last long enough. I told him it was great but I guess he didn't believe me especially after I said I had to go. It's exhausting trying to figure this out!!

[Wakeup]

Yes... I clipped that part about driving you home prior to you posting that you didn't... I realized it was an assumption. Why don't you call him and ask him what's up?

[curiousgirly]

I texted him... also asked him how work was today... no response.

Calling him would make me seem desperate...don't you think???

[Wakeup]

Why do you think calling him would make you look desperate but texting wouldn't? Anyhoo, is he still logging on the site everyday? Me, I'd not try to contact him again unless is was one phone call in case of the off chance he didn't get your text. Or, if you're too chicken to call him O.o, An email through the site asking when we were getting together again. (No sense beating around the bush at this point) Then I'd wait to see how long it took him (if ever) to contact me. Depending on the length of time, if it was too long (like weeks) then he's setting you up to be a booty call.

I doubt he's not calling you because he was mad you didn't stay. Any guy who liked the sex and knew he could easily get more wouldn't hold that against you. Not even a desperate, clingon momma's boy who sulked cause you didn't have a pajama party with him.

Good luck... If you're going to online date you'd do well to find out intentions before and discuss what ifs afterwards.

[curiousgirly]

He has the iphone ap thingy, so he always appears logged in as long as his iphone is on. That proves he got my text. I don't know what to think anymore. I don't want to call him also because he hinted that a girl he dated kept calling him after he dumped her. So I'm like... if he's dumped me, I don't want to seem desperate or crazy by calling him when I'm sure he got my text! I've learnt my lesson on this one I guess!

So all that looking deep in my eyes, smiling, talking to me about a relationship and pleasuring me was all just for a booty call? Wow! Then he really got me fooled!

[Phoenix23]

He sounds like an asshole either way.

[Wakeup]

He has the iphone ap thingy, so he always appears logged in as long as his iphone is on. That proves he got my text. I don't know what to think anymore. I don't want to call him also because he hinted that a girl he dated kept calling him after he dumped her. So I'm like... if he's dumped me, I don't want to seem desperate or crazy by calling him when I'm sure he got my text! I've learnt my lesson on this one I guess!

So all that looking deep in my eyes, smiling, talking to me about a relationship and pleasuring me was all just for a booty call? Wow! Then he really got me fooled!

Well, this is all conjecture my dear because none of us have actually talked to this man but if he's like so many online he's out to get laid and then he'll back off until you drive yourself nuts with wondering what you did wrong or why he's not falling all over you just because you fkd him. Once you get to the "in a tizzy" stage he'll contact you again and you'll be like all so grateful that you're not a loser that you'll gladly have him back in your (or his) bed. You didn't answer my question: Is he still logging on to the site everyday?

Either that or perhaps he's too embarassed to tell you just two days after doing the deed that he doesn't think you and he are a good match and so he's just hoping you go away on your own. ???????

Or: He's busy and he'll call you soon.

So many scenerios. Sorry.

Just get back online on Monday... give yourself a week to get over him (lol) and chalk it up as experience and lessons learned if he doesn't get back to you soon. Look after yourself... there are a lot of assholes on line from what I've read.

So all that looking deep in my eyes, smiling, talking to me about a relationship and pleasuring me was all just for a booty call? Wow! Then he really got me fooled!

Hint, don't screw um until they introduce you to their friends if you want to make sure they're really looking for a long term commitment. Keep them intrigued and wanting more.

[leoben]

I doubt he's not calling you because he was mad you didn't stay. Any guy who liked the sex and knew he could easily get more wouldn't hold that against you. Not even a desperate, clingon momma's boy who sulked cause you didn't have a pajama party with him.

Actually many guys prefer having their ego stroked over easy sex any day of the week. Five dates is a while to wait nowadays, and on top of making him wait she left him feeling like he was horrible in bed. After that double ego crush why would he call her again?

Now I'm curious though, was he correct in thinking you left because the sex was bad?

[tremolo]

She never said why she left though. I was rarely able to stay over at my ex's house because I live with ultra conservative family members who would likely disown me if I did. Although he wasn't thrilled with me leaving after sex, he understood why I did, and it never interfered with our relationship...