Affection, two way street?

[AlwaysHers]

Right, I've been going out with this girl for just over two months. She's great, I love her. She says she loves me. I was a virgin when I met her. She was not and has had a year long relationship that went bad, just basically the dude was a idiot and not very thoughtful to her. First night I spent with her I thought went well but looking back on it I started everything. I thought at the time it was just because she was shy. But now I'm not so sure. See every time we have had sex I have initiated it, from foreplay through it and everything. Well ok, on two or three occasions she has done things, asked for things but really its that little amount. Its not like she doesn't enjoy it, she seems very happy afterward. But if I snuggle with her she seems to like it but doesn't snuggle back, just has her arms sitting where ever they were. Out of bed its the same. I initiate 98% of hugs and kisses.

So I thought maybe it was because I initiate everything too much or too soon? I get the feeling I am a pretty affectionate person.
I thought I'd try something this weekend while I was helping her move place. I thought I'd hold back as much as I could. Tried to just give friendly pats on the back, that type of thing. Hoping maybe she would do something even just like a hug or hold my hand or anything. Nothing.. I feel like she doesn't find me attractive, or doesn't love me. But I dunno.

I plan to talk to her about it next time I see her in a few days as I want to talk about it face to face. But I'd like another opinion as to if I should worry about this and even talk to her about it as I'm not sure if its just me being crazy.
I love her, I just want her to come up to me out of the blue give me a hug and kiss me without me initiating.

[Gigabitch]

That's not too much to ask. Maybe you fulfill her needs so effectively that she never wants any more. I think talking to her will help.

I had this issue with my husband and he didn't mean to be standoffish at all, just didn't think about it since I was always hugging him, he figured it was no problem. Now he initiates a lot, and likes it because he feels like it's a double dose since it's not only affection, it's something he initiated.

She probably doesn't mean to be cold at all.

[chump4u]

If your girl had a bad relationship with some abusive can-of-crap, there's a good chance that he "trained" her to shut up, sit down, and keep out of the way until he was interested in sex. Consequently, she thinks that guys don't like for girls to initiate things, and that her job in your relationship is to accept what she's given.

I'm sure she'd love to love you; she just needs to know that you'd be happy with it, too.

But I wouldn't "talk" to her about it. Don't make her feel as though she's lacking something, or has been neglecting you somehow.

Just be playful about it: "Well, where's my hug?" or "Don't I get a kiss, here?"

That sort of hint ought to tell her that it's perfectly OK to show a little spontaneous affection.

Then you can come back here and start a thread: " Help! I'm Always Having to Pry My GF Off of Me."

But that's a different problem. We'll deal with it in its turn.

[AlwaysHers]

Well I thought I would follow this up, just so readers know whats happened. I took her to a waterfall and had a picnic lunch the other day. Also took her a nice Iris out of my garden. She seemed fairly affectionate all day which made me feel so much better about everything. I did do what chump4u said and 'suggest' a hug and a kiss once or twice. But she mostly done it on her own. Sitting right next to me on the couch, coming up behind me and hugging etc. It was nice

So there we go. Cheers peeps!

[SS Gal]

Yea!!! A happy ending finally!!!