Cheating Girlfriend - Busted

[Creatine]

Background: Hi all, I've been with my gf (soon to be ex-gf) for 3 years now. We've started living together for about 1 year ago. Her actions the past few weeks has made me suspect she was up to no good. She would randomly say that she was going to sleep over her parents place as she wanted to go to work a little early. The first few times was ok, but I start noticing a pattern. So one night after she had gone, I waited until midnight and drove to her parents house to see if her car was there...it wasn't. So I called her cell (probably 15 times in the next 2 hours) and she did not pick up. I left her several voice messages to call me back as I was worried. The next morning I finally got a hold of her on the cell. She totally denied everything and said she ended up sleeping over her sisters place. I told her to just tell me the truth and if she was seeing someone, I didn't want anything to do with it. At the time, I took her word for it as I didn't not have much proof, but was still not convinced. I had to do something and decided to be the bad guy. I installed a key logging software on her laptop. I know this was not right for me to do that. Anyway, it was true...she was sleeping with a co-worker of hers. Based on all the emails, it appears her relationship with the guy was rocky. They often argued over the littlest things. And that's the least of my concern right now.

Here are my questions to you folks. What type of punishment should I inflict on her? What do you think I should do? Should I embarrass her with the emails? I know payback's a bitch. What are your thoughts?

[vashti]

"Punishment"?? You are kidding, right?

Be a big boy, and just break up with her. Revenge doesn't *really* give a person any lasting satisfaction.

[Creatine]

Maybe the word "Punishment" was too harsh for me to use. But I really think she should be made aware that what she's doing was wrong. And there should be some consequences for her actions.

[vashti]

Uhh... wouldn't breaking up with her show her that it was wrong and be a logical consequence?

Anyway, she already *knows* it was wrong. That's why she was lying to you.

[Mathias]

Background: Hi all, I've been with my gf (soon to be ex-gf) for 3 years now. We've started living together for about 1 year ago. Her actions the past few weeks has made me suspect she was up to no good. She would randomly say that she was going to sleep over her parents place as she wanted to go to work a little early. The first few times was ok, but I start noticing a pattern. So one night after she had gone, I waited until midnight and drove to her parents house to see if her car was there...it wasn't. So I called her cell (probably 15 times in the next 2 hours) and she did not pick up. I left her several voice messages to call me back as I was worried. The next morning I finally got a hold of her on the cell. She totally denied everything and said she ended up sleeping over her sisters place. I told her to just tell me the truth and if she was seeing someone, I didn't want anything to do with it. At the time, I took her word for it as I didn't not have much proof, but was still not convinced. I had to do something and decided to be the bad guy. I installed a key logging software on her laptop. I know this was not right for me to do that. Anyway, it was true...she was sleeping with a co-worker of hers. Based on all the emails, it appears her relationship with the guy was rocky. They often argued over the littlest things. And that's the least of my concern right now.

Here are my questions to you folks. What type of punishment should I inflict on her? What do you think I should do? Should I embarrass her with the emails? I know payback's a bitch. What are your thoughts?

Hah. You have some serious issues, dude. Please don't date anyone else until you work these out.

Key logging software? Really?

[Creatine]

At first, that was my first thought...was to breakup. Then, the other part of me said, screw that...she doesn't deserve to be off the hook that easy. I know, call me bitter, mean, heartless, or whatever...I need to take it out on her.

[Mathias]

At first, that was my first thought...was to breakup. Then, the other part of me said, screw that...she doesn't deserve to off the hook that easy. I know, call me bitter, mean, heartless, or whatever...I need to take it out on her.

No, you don't. This will NOT end well. You seem like a very manipulative, controlling individual. Please, please get help for this.

[Gigabitch]

Look, if you want to retain your status as the Injured Party, you can't be vindictive.

Break up with her very openly. Tell absolutely everyone why you're doing it, including her family. Print out the proof and share it with her sister. Pack up her shit and put it on the porch. Tell her she has two days to pick it up, or it's going to the Salvation Army.

Then walk away. Have some dignity, for God's sake.

[Creatine]

I'll go with your recommendation Giga. It sounds reasonable and makes a lot of sense. Thanks!