I saw my ex today but he ignored me

[fufugrrl]

My ex and I broke up about 4 months ago after an arguement. It resulted in him not talking to me. He wouldn't take my calls or respond to email. After the first couple days of no response, I backed off and only emailed him once about 6 weeks later saying I still hoped we could resolve our differences but that I would keep my distance until he was ready to speak to me. I still never heard from him.

Well, just today he showed up in front of the building where I work. He was standing across the street, appearing to be waiting for someone. I noticed him out my office window. He was there for about 30 minutes. I decided to step out and see if he would talk to me. He was talking on his phone as I crossed the street. I think he saw me and I gave him a little wave. It looked like he saw me but turned away. Again, I tried to make eye contact but he looked everywhere but at me.

I continued on, bought my lunch and when I returned he was gone.

I just don't know what to make of this. I won't call him. I really feel it's up to him to come to me. But at the same time, I feel like it's ridiculous to be playing this game. We are both over 30 and yet I feel like I'm dealing with someone in high school. I don't really want him back as my boyfriend. I just want to resolve the conflict we had a few months back. We have mutual friends and I would love just make amends so as to avoid awkward situations.

Am I doing the right thing by keeping quiet and just letting him come to me if he wants?

[ginastar]

what was the argument over?

[BackUpOrGetStng]

He's not playing a game. You're dead to him. Move on.

[fufugrrl]

I wanted to see him exclusively and he was not interested. I never said anything mean to him, just that I was starting to feel jealout of other women he was dating. He accused me of being spiteful and when I asked what he meant by that he closed himself off to me. It was really strange. I could have ended things with him if he had simply said, "Sorry, I don't want that kind of relationship" but instead he got kind of nasty about it.
I realize the whole thing seems ridiculous in retrospect. We were better friends than lovers for sure.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Yes, it does sound a bit immature, but who knows what his reasons are. It's not worth worrying about, just let it go, and move on.

[IncognitoSir]

According to you, he was not ok being exclusive with you, completly distanced himself from you, yet you feel compelled to chase after him..... and why, I don't know. Leads me to believe there are parts to this story that are missing. Half truth equalls a whole lie.........#justsaying

[66mustanggt]

see its assholes like this that make it hard for men like me...when i wasn,t married...playing games or just being down right mean.....i wish i knew this asshole i would slap the shit out of him ...i mean really back hand him...i just hope and pray at some point he can see this reply i would love to talk to MR asshole...the reason i,m so upset...i,ve been hurt by women..because they have be treated wrong by some asshole like this....i,m sorry but **** him...move on you have tried..meet that special guy...i hope you meet a guy that will put his foot in his ass.....again i,m really sorry...but people need to treat people right

[fufugrrl]

Obviously he found something wrong with me. And I let my feelings for him stay hidden so I wouldn't seem desperate. In the end I obviously blew it and scared him away. I've backed off and up until now thought I was getting over him. I will just try and forget today and call it a fluke.

[Agape]

So you're his ex . . . you broke up . . .he's ignoring you? looks like he's over you?

what's the problem!?

[fufugrrl]

I was stunned and hurt. We were good friends before we dated. I miss his friendship very much. I can handle him being my ex-boyfriend but I'm having a hard time letting go of the great times we had. Sometimes dating friends can be disastrous. I had never imagined he would stop talking to me. Cool off for awhile, come back and break it to me, yes. But, no words at all? Very devastating. I wish hadn't seen him today.

[RdHrshyKss]

sounds like he's really immature for a 30-year-old. the least he could do was have some kind of closure conversation with you. anyways, be glad you realized this side of him before you wasted any more time with him. i know it's hard, but you really need to try to move on and grow from this. he was a jerk and isn't worth your time.

[fufugrrl]

So you're his ex . . . you broke up . . .he's ignoring you? looks like he's over you?

what's the problem!?

Actually, we broke up by default. I wanted more from our relationship and he didn't. Instead of discussing things with me, he just decided to give me the silent treatment and after a few days I figured it was over. I know it sounds lame but I like closure and I never got it. So, it's made it hard to move on. But, I know I will. This incident set me back a bit, though.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

What more closure did you need? You said you wanted an exclusive relationship, he didn't, end of story. He could've strung you along for months if he'd wanted to but he figured a clean break was best for you. Sounds pretty well wrapped up to me. You wanted a reason why he didn't want to get serious with you and stop banging the other women?

[Agape]

Actually, we broke up by default. I wanted more from our relationship and he didn't. Instead of discussing things with me, he just decided to give me the silent treatment and after a few days I figured it was over. I know it sounds lame but I like closure and I never got it. So, it's made it hard to move on. But, I know I will. This incident set me back a bit, though.

I can understand that . . . I'm the same way, at least with closure you can move on with your life knowing that things are over and you're not missing out on any remaining hopes, etc.

nevertheless, you are still ex'es and given enough time and distance you'll be able to move on

[fufugrrl]

What more closure did you need? You said you wanted an exclusive relationship, he didn't, end of story. He could've strung you along for months if he'd wanted to but he figured a clean break was best for you. Sounds pretty well wrapped up to me. You wanted a reason why he didn't want to get serious with you and stop banging the other women?

For some people, I'm sure this way of ending things works just fine but I thought it insensitive to call me spiteful and then not explain what he meant by that when I asked. I enjoyed his company very much and his friendship and support meant a lot. Without any words, I'm left to believe I was never important to him. I guess now I sound spiteful but I really don't want to be!