Originally Posted by
Emereldess
I don't quite agree with that. I don't have to take garbage from anybody due to a poorly formed assumption based out of a media-born misconception of a certain "type" of relationship.
yes you do because you don't have control over other people or how they perceive things or, what they think. You only have control over how you respond to the way they think. Get that down and you'd not give a crap what they think when you know you're both perfectly happy.
Of course I do not want to care about it but I do to an extent because I worry that it could somehow impact my relationship.
Then tell your bf to tell them to cut it out. See if he can convince them to mind their own effing business.
I don't ask this question for the sake of giving people something to bat at. This forum is meant for people seeking advice.
yes and you've gotten some. Change your attitude about what they're saying. Afterall you appear tough and opinionated, ignore thier crap. They are entitled to what they think, you can ask them to keep their opinions to themselves. Be more assertive, straight forward about not wanting to know what they think.
I should not get defensive but I'll admit that this is a bit frustrating, as I'm not looking to be told to ignore something, I'm looking more so for an idea on how to gently handle it.
As I said, don't get defensive, get a little more assertive about not wanting to know that they think. Include your partner so that he can be just as assertive in not wanting to know their opinions.
I enjoy my relationship to the fullest. There is no doubt. But I do know the impact of words.
Then do something about not hearing them anymore.
Especially when it comes out of the mouths of your close friends/family.
Smile and tell them that's your opinion but I KNOW we are happy.
Before you think of a quick snap response that will probably "put me in my place" think of it this way:
Oh how defensive you are... and for no good reason.
perhaps you would be a bit frustrated if you began a new relationship, watched all her friends/family smile at you and welcome you with open arms, and then as soon as she is not around you get approached by those very people, telling you straight to your face that they do not trust you, and they think you are there to freeload/take from her. Thanks
Have you even told your bf what these people are saying to you? If you haven't why not? If you have what has he done to defend your union?
You sound like a little girl who is unable to handle this thing alone. There is safety in numbers so as a team, take care of business. It can be done with straight forward communication from the two of you.
Last edited by Wakeup; 30-05-13 at 12:11 AM.
“The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion