Need some major advice?

[djn002]

So, before i met my finacee, she and a co-worker uesd to hook up...which is out of my control, it was before we met, and it had nothing to do with me. And i understand all of that. The problem is, because hes a co-worker, she talks about him every single day. But i know that when she talks about him, or thinks about him..she sees him as just a co-worker. For me...not so much. Its very difficult to listen to her talk about him because i dont see him as just one of her co-workers...u know? To me, hes the guy who she was having sex with before me, the guy who was intimate with her, the guy whos had his hands all over her, and experiencing her...so its hard to hear about him. And i dont want to tell her not to talk about him because i want to be supportive of her, and when she wants to talk about her day, i wanna be there for her to listen. But i cant continue to hear about him. All i can picture is them together when she talks about him. Its very very frustrating. And i donno how much longer i can hear about him...i mean i know to her it was nothing, it was just something she did during a rough time in life...but its not nothing to me. What can i do? Its really eating me alive. Advice?

[nerdy_guy]

You still need to talk to her about it. Just don't do it when she's all stressed out otherwise, she'll "deliberately" misunderstand what your saying and you'll come out fighting. That is something she has to adjust and understand, if she's not willing to do such a small thing for you, I don't know how she'll be supportive of you.

Put it this way, tell her you're Superman and she's Lois Lane. The coworker topic is your Krytonite. I don't think Lois Lane would deliberately poison Superman now, would she?

[VincenzoG91]

And if you just can't handle knowing your partner has a past, from now on, stop asking about that kind of stuff. Or stick to hitting on virgins.

"You want the truth? You can't handle the truth!"

[sookie6]

This would make me feel insecure too.

But I still think you should ask her to stop talking about him just the same way you've put it in your post.

Also excellent advice from Nerdy Guy, wait for the right moment to talk about it. When you're sure she's realxed and happy and when you feel connected..