My ex emailed me about his new girlfriend..

[cast no shadow]

I mailed him about a month ago saying I'm flying to the US and maybe we'll met. He said he'll try and that he might go on a trip with his brother. I then commented that his brother is nice and that he will say "hi" from me. Yesterday, two weeks later he answered: "He's coming to visit soon and I have no doubt that he will impress my girlfriend, or at least elicit plenty of smiles and laughter! I'll have to give her a prep talk beforehand."

It hurt me so much. I can't understand why he needed to do that. He already told me that he might won't be able to see me. He could have used a smoother language like: "I think you should know I started dating someone.." Or something like that. And he did it so many times before, when we were together. Always ignoring the fact that I have feeling also.

I cried all day. It really brought me back 5 month ago when I left the US to come back home. He didn't even really let me say goodbye then, cause he kept repeating that he will come visit during the summer. He didn't wait with me for the flight and when I waited for my connection he said he has math homework to do and can't really chat. I thought that was horrible, I felt so bad then, as I am now after his current email.

I hate my self for falling for him the begin with. He his cruel and incapable of having feeling and being sensitive to others' ones. I'm made at myself so much for still having feelings for him as he obviously moved on, and probably had non for me anyway.

I feel a need to tell him how much he hurt me. I wrote him a latter that is about 2 pages long last night, but didn't mail it. I know that the best I can get from him is just him rolling his eyes. I need to hate him, and I need to move on. I thought of maybe just write him something like: "I just wanted you to know your wording really hurt me. You could have choose so many other ways to tell me, or just saying you don't want to meet me. I can't understand why you always said what you knew will be painful."

Should I? What will I say?
I really want to erase him, I just can't.

[Boisdevie]

Why are you even bothering to communicate with him - he's your ex. But if you 'need to hate him' then obviously you're not going to move on are you?

[elco69]

I am not defending him in anyway, but giving you a little insight to how some men think. He thinks that since you two are ex bf/gf that he can move on and assumed you would have too. Possibly to him, your visit is just a visit with a friend and hence his openess to tell you about his new gf the way that he did, or he could just being a jerk. Your feeling are your feelings and no one can tell you otherwise. It is apparent that you care for him more than he cares for you and he doesnt deserve you in anyway shape or form. I say send him a letter and tell him that he hurt you then and now and tell him that he doesn't deserve you at all, as either friend or whatever. It is easier to say than experience, but it is true what they say, time heals all wounds. When you visit, I say meet a few new people, maybe a cute guy, hangout and give him the middle finger.

[searock]

Sounds like he is afraid of confrontation. He kind of has a right to, now that you are no longer together. First of all, he had no obligation to even tell you that he's seeing someone else. If he did it was likely just to let you know that it's really time for you to move on for good. Second, the way he communicated it to you was willfully light-hearted, because he likely didn't want to start a serious talk (even just of a few lines) or something. He talked to you as he would talk at a friend, which is all you could be now (I say "could" and not "can" because it's obvious you're still not over him).

I suggest you just stop being in contact with this guy altogether. There is no point for you to keep in touch, it will only slow down your moving on process.

[cast no shadow]

Thank you,

You are right, he sure is afraid of confrontation. We didn't even said proper goodbye because he kept repeating that we will meet during the summer. I guess that this also prevented me to move on. I do understand why he said that, maybe for me to know when I'm coming, to imply that we'll probably won't meet.

The thing is that he know I loved him, and probably aware to the fact that I still have feelings for him, but he still chose to write it that way.
This is why in some way I just feel like I need to tell him that, but I also know nothing will come out of it. I need a closure, but he can't really give me one.
I try to force my self to stop loving him. Sorry for the cliche, but I really feel like I'm Going to explode from all this feeling.
I just want to erase him from my life, to get over him, to stop loving him already.
He was nothing more than a jerk.

[Boisdevie]

I just want to erase him from my life, to get over him, to stop loving him already.

So why are you still in contact with him? Why were you going to see him? You're not over him at all.

[searock]

You won't get closure from him. You are the only one who can give yourself closure. You need to decide that it's time to cut all contact with this guy, and to never look back.

[cast no shadow]

I know, I didn't say I'm over him. I can say that I still love him even.
I'm going to the US for a summer seminar, and I told him that when I was in a stage I really felt good again.
Big mistake obviously, I just thought that I am ready now to get a closure by seeing him.

And this is how it ended up..
I really want to put him behind me but it seems like I just can't.

[searock]

Your only mistake was to contact him this last time. As I said, you won't find closure by contacting him again. Clearly he doesn't want to talk about your ex relationship anymore. In order to move on, you need to stop contacting him, and not because he isn't giving you the responses you hoped to hear, but because you *want* to move on.