How do I make my self more approachable to guys?

[shybelle]

That's my main question. Now I am not talking about weirdos and perverts. I have been hit on by my fair share of jerks and that is why I sometimes have up a defensive wall when I am out and about. What should I do that would signal to a guy that I am open to being approached? But would still avoid the grabby/grabbies or the I would luv ta .... you. I really do not want to continue coming off as bitter and hostile. I really do have a fun loving and carefree side. please help

[carl1222]

I think it's something you just have to put up with. As a woman, you will get a lot of responses from men ... even jerks and those whom you aren't attracted to. So instead of setting up a wall and rejecting everyone in advance, you have to learn to encourage the men you are interested in and gently reject those who you aren't (not so gently if they are persistant).

You can't pick and choose the men who may be interested in you, you can only react.

Carl.

[Dasein]

If you are going to pubs/clubs you can establish eye contact with men you are interested in. This worked for me in the past. As soon as they see you looking at them they will come and talk to you.

[Indignant]

I usually approach guys whom i am interested in.

[shybelle]

I am not that brave anymore. I do not know what has happened to me. One of the best bf I had was one I actually approached initially. At the time I had one of my girlfriends pushing me to do something. I guess I am just cowardly alone or fear the almighty rejection.

[TheTooya]

fear the almighty rejection.

Same applies for guys. Many guys don't want to walk into a situation where they likely will get rejected. Giving a guy *hints* (can be construed in many, many ways) helps to get the ball rolling.

[AirbenderAang]

The perfect answer to your question is to approach the guys who don't seem like weirdos or perverts. It is true that eye contact, or "hints" help, but nothing is more helpful than actually approaching the man you are interested in. Help out a nice shy guy. Heh

[Ms.Cruise]

Just be yourself. !!

[sarah_rsl]

If you fancy a guy then you approach him, it can be slightly difficult in pubs and clubs so maybe that shouldn't be where you look to meet men. Try other locations somewhere you feel more comfortable. Be aware that you might get rejected a few times.

Also if you meet someone in a bar you don't know anything about him, a friend of a friend might be the way to go. Mention to your mates that you're looking to meet a bloke, I bet they have other single friends that they might set you up with.

[Lite]

Show up naked, bring beer.

[lagun89]

i like when a girl laughs a lot, i think it's the sexyest thing a smart laugh ,so try to be open,and laugh at other guys jokes.

[starbuck]

Eye contact and smiling always helps, and if you're at a party or bar with a pack of girlfriends, try to get away from them at some point, too. It's intimidating sometimes for a guy to approach a whole posse of chicks (some guys, not all). Go order some drinks at the bar by yourself and see if that helps.

I seem to talk alot of guys in the restroom lines at bars. Why? Because they're not with their group of guys and I'm not with my posse of girlfriends. It's much less intimidating that way.

It's also fun sometimes to approach a guy rather than waiting around for one to approach you. Just try it...you might really like it.

[1averagejoe]

Smiling and eye contact like everyone else mentioned are usually indicators that you're interested in them. Also like Starbuck mentioned, groups of girls can be intimidating for some guys to approach. So if you're with the girls spot a guy, move away from them and he just might approach you.

Take down those walls and open up a little. It's hard enough for guys to actually man up and walk up to you and start a conversation and hope not to get rejected.

[Apollo89]

hell, ima a guy and sometimes when a girl gives hints it still scares me, Rejection hurts. Also try and make a connection on a mental and less physical level... helps avoid jerks

[shybelle]

How do you make an impression on a mental level if you have never said a word to the person? I'm just a little confused. I did try to be more open (I smiled, made eye contact etc. at the nice normal, cute guy at the bar/lounge) and the normal guy still did not approach. I was approached by the extremely tipsy and the Mr. Booty Call Seekers. If you give a guy 'hints' and he does not act on the hints should I assume that he is not interested? I think I did everything but screamed please come over here and talk to me.

The friend of a friend scenario is really not an option where I am at currently. I know few people around my age and most of my close friends are not in this area. I recently tried going online for meeting people for the first time. In my description I specifically mentioned hanging out not hooking up. After a little over half a week online I have come to the conclusion that there are alot of weirdos in cyberspace and a lot of people seeking cybersex or intimate encounters with strangers (ew! - Forgive me for being a prude, but I DON'T think so.) Are there any decent guys left?