A little confused about his behavior

[singback]

Hi, there is this guy I work with and at first he was really nice to me. He kept asking me questions about my life and whatnot. Nothing ever happened between us. Then he started dating some other girl. He has never told me about her. After he started dating this girl he was always hot and cold with me. His behavior has completely changed. He is not like this around other girls. I'm confused thinking maybe he liked me but since I never showed any interest he got upset? When I try to talk to him now he makes it look like he is in a hurry and can't talk (even though we're at work). Why did his behavior change?

[carl1222]

I wouldn't assume that he got upset over anything. His attention to you before may have been based on romantic interest in you at that time, but now that he's with someone else, that interest is gone.

Carl.

[ecojeanne]

yep this happens, no he's not upset. i would imagine that he is respecting his gf by staying away from chatting to you for too long coz he did like you and doesn't want you to think that he still does. he has cut you off. its better that he does that rather than encourage anything with you (which i'm sure he has thought about). some guys can handle it but some can't. i wouldn't worry too much about it, it just shows immaturity really on his part.

[singback]

Yeah I felt as if I hurt his ego or something. He is sometimes nice to me and sometimes acts like he doesn't have the time of day for me. Even when I'm just trying to be nice to him.

[Cain]

If I am usually flirty with a girl but get into a relationship with someone else, I stop.

[misombra]

eh, he just isn't all that interested in you. leave him alone and move on.

[UKboy]

All I can say it,girls take it for granted when guys shows attention.
Btw,he doesn't owe you an explaination for dating other girls.

[krondragon]

Unless you have any interest in him whatsoever, which I didn't see explicitly stated in your post, you should not care too much about his behavior.

[utopianhercules]

Hi, there is this guy I work with and at first he was really nice to me. He kept asking me questions about my life and whatnot. Nothing ever happened between us. Then he started dating some other girl. He has never told me about her. After he started dating this girl he was always hot and cold with me. His behavior has completely changed. He is not like this around other girls. I'm confused thinking maybe he liked me but since I never showed any interest he got upset? When I try to talk to him now he makes it look like he is in a hurry and can't talk (even though we're at work). Why did his behavior change?

Here's why I think his behavior changed:

1. He likes you and he wants to be with you. But he feels that he needs to be someone important, wanted and sought after to make you feel that you are indeed getting a guy who is needed elsewhere. Could this be one way to make you call him back?

2. He is uncertain about whom he likes and he is "checking" out? But guys aren't like this -- they don't check out. They just date serially, one after the other and settle with whatever comes their way.

3. He is playing games? I am a guy and there is this girl I like and I am trying to court her. Each time she drops me cold, I go out on a dating rampage. Could it be that he is doing something similar?

4. I love the concept of "confident persistence": Ask him why he doesn't seem to be able to find time to talk to you and ask these questions point blank. But don't come on too strong and continue keeping in touch ( assuming throughout that you like him, of course).Talking to you isn't infidelity( hell, even meeting you won't be).

5. If you don't care and can move on, well, move on like misombra says.