Distraught guy in need of advice

[shawn887]

Hi, I'm here to seek some advice and opinion as i'm still distraught about this. My ex and I broke up slightly more than 2 months ago. How we got together was such a magical story. We've known each other for 4 years, since we would bump into each other almost everyday at the bus stop on the way back home from school (this was 4 years ago). I was instantly attracted to her but I didn't do anything as I was too shy and well she was a few years younger than I was. After high school she added me on one of those social network sites and I was thrilled! She said that she had noticed me before at the bus stop and wanted to be friends. So after that the continuous back and forth messaging occurred. I got her number from a friend and we started to text each other quite often. But the thing was with her she always replied my messages late, like 3-4 days late and sometimes it'll take months! So after awhile i stopped pursuing her thinking that she wasn't interested in me. Though every single time this happened, she would text me out of the blue (after a few months) and asked me how i was and stuff. And again, after a few days of messaging, she would disappear for a few weeks/months. I didn't blame her as she was doing a really intensive course do I didn't want to make it a big deal.

This dragged on for 4 years, and in those 4 years we didn't go out even once! Its either she was too busy or just that she just disappear out of the blue. By this stage I was really upset the fact that, here was this girl that i really liked but I just couldn't see her face to face and show her my true self, to show her how i really am. So a year ago I made the decision to continue my studies abroad, and I left without telling her anything, as I thought this wasn't going anywhere and I wanted to move on. Fast track 5 months later, again she added me on this social networking site. I was surprised she managed to find me (again!). We occasionally chatted online but it was left on just normal grounds (no past talk or anything). I stopped pursuing her completely, but still sometimes she would pop up random messages to me. The funniest story was a few weeks before I had to fly back home for the break, I was thinking about her and how she was doing one particular night, and the next morning i checked my inbox and found that she had messaged me and asked how I was doing. I was completely stomped! Could she read my mind???

So when I came back home for the break, I told her we should catch up and to my surprise she agreed! Coffee turned to dinner, dinner turned to more intimate dates. One night at a friends bbq, I was told by a mutual guy friend that the girl that I liked was telling her friends about me and how she had high hopes for me only to get shot down when I left without saying anything. It was only then I decided to confess how I felt and she said yes! I was over the moon as I had gotten together with a girl I had liked for the past 4 years! She told me after we got together that she had a high school crush on me, and she was really upset that I didn't tell her that I had left abroad for studies (this was when she found out that she had liked me). We talked and messaged each other everyday, the world was good But thing was we both knew that our time together had to be cut short as she was also studying abroad. So after a few weeks of pure bliss, we flew off.

For the next 4 months, even though we could only communicate through skype, text or over the phone, we were happy. I was never this happy in my entire life! Over the break I flew down to see her and spent the next 3 weeks with her. It was one of the best times of my life. But because we haven't seen each other for such a long time, it was a bit awkward initially cause we never formed that bond and understanding about each other. But we got past through it and were never happier. I was so sad on the day that I had to leave that I cried while hugging her tight. Everything went back to the way it was after (skype, messaging, calls etc). I should mention that I was going through a really rough patch this year as I was having family problems (parents having massive fueds and stuff) so I turned to her more than ever. I would call her more often, message her continuously. A month after i noticed bit by bit she was being different, in the sense that she had nothing to talk about, didn't want to share things with me and etc. I confronted her about this and she said she's going through a phase, and she would get over it. Things got sour after this, as every time i would call her, I would do most of the talking. I got more annoyed and paranoid, but never the less we still told each other how much we loved each other. This dragged on for a month and bit by bit i felt like she was slipping away. So, one day, i called a local florist in her country and asked them to deliver the best bouquet of flowers, a box of chocolates as well as a note to her. I had planned out everything really well (called her buildings front desk and tell them how to do it and stuff). When she got the flowers, she sent me a message saying that we needed to "talk". Long story short she broke up with me. She said that she's been cold to me, she wasn't being the girlfriend that she had wanted me to be, and that by me not being there with her physically, why would she bother? She said being in a long distance relationship was too hard and it was causing so much pain for her as she had miss me so much. I tried to reason with her but it didn't work. She said that she still loves me but she was going through a phase and she needed time to herself. We said our "i love you" and hung up the phone. I was gutted and couldn't stop crying.

The day she messaged me online and asked how i was and stuff, and still says those dreaded 3 words "I love you", which made me more confused. I replied and this went on for a week, by which she was saying that we should catch this movie when we go back over the break and stuff. Every single message would be conclude with those words, "I love you". A week after, she stopped messaging me and I went into depression mode. I called her 2 weeks after but had to cut it short as she was busy. I became depressed, distraught and angry over the next 3 weeks. My best friend told me the reason that i was angry was because she broke up with me, and that i should forgive her and that would make me feel better. So i called her and forgave her for what she did, only to get a reply saying that she didn't want to talk about the past, and after a few words, said our good byes. She said that if fate wants us to be together, we will be together. I booked my flight tickets yesterday, and surprise surprise I the only date that i can fly back was on the same day that she was. Fate is really weird.

Its been a 3 weeks since I called her to forgive her, and there's been no contact ever since. I still get emotional once in awhile, thinking that i should call her, but i would hold back. We both would be having our finals in a few weeks time and would be flying back after. I know this post is a bit lengthy, but I just don't know what to do anymore. Should I contact her when i go back? Should i just let her be? Should i wait for her to contact me first? I really appreciate those of you who read this. Cheers!

[Agape]

Kinda a long post . . . but it doesn't seem like you were really very close? . . . communication seemed rather sparse and things dragged on? . . . If you could summarize, how much communication have you been doing for per week, per month?

"Its been a 3 weeks since I called her to forgive her, and there's been no contact ever since." . . . well she's to respond back