Why is she sending mixed messages?

[UpUpStateNY1]

OK, so I kind of recently graduated from college (4 years ago). There is a girl I had known from my senior year of high school that I had met on a trip (we were from different cities; me upstate NY, her in Ohio). We clicked and kept in contact throughout college and met a several times over the years as friends. We were not dating though and we both dated and had relationships with other people in college. We always clicked and I could feel there could be something more but it never really happened.

In any case, we are both in the work world now and last spring she called me asking me to go on a trip with her since she is not in a relationship but still wanted to go on vacation. I guess maybe it was because I had sent her flowers for her birthday the previous month. She asked me out not the other way around.

We went down south to the beach in South Carolina for a few days. I offered to be a gentleman and get a separate hotel room (since we technically were not in a relationship) but she said that it was ok for a one room with two beds. OK, so we go on the trip and things start to happen. I kiss her, she reciprocates, we make out a couple of times. I was a bit shy and not trying to go all out because I didn't want her to think I was a complete perv after her body but we end up in bed one night. She's going wild on me etc. (not sex). We get bare (reciprocal) and then she's like "we can't go all the way ok." So we continue to make out like that and I can't get any traction. No we didn't have sex (frustrating!) I got none the whole weekend. She kept making excuses why we couldn't. So again, I respect her as a gentleman (yes I did try) and we go back to our opposite cities.

Later, I write her a letter telling her how I feel and seeing if I can get her to express the same back. Negative reaction. So I get the cold shoulder. I do the regular process, grieve, forget her, move on. I was working abroad for a while with my job and my roommate tells me she actually called our apartment looking for me. I'm like, whatever, and go about my life. She catches me one day and we talk and have a good conversation, whatever.

In summary, what does she want? She invited me on a trip and started getting freaky! She dumped me! 1) why was she a tease on the trip and 2) why she calling me now after she wanted to get rid of me???

Should I just burn all bridges or what?

[The_bobb]

Man, i honestly don't know what to tell ya. Did you try asking her why she's sending mixed signals?

From here it LOOKS like she wants to make it a relationship. But then she turns you away then calls back? Do you guys still live far apart? Maybe she's scared of the long distance thing?

[misombra]

sounds like she may have been burning for somebody back home.

[UpUpStateNY1]

Yeah, still live apart. I would try to do what is necessary make it work but if she isn't going to at least put forth reciprocal effort, why disrupt my life?

[Gigabitch]

You can't go forward with trying to put an LDR together if you can't even speak plainly about these things with her. Distance creates so many problems already that this confusion will become unendurable, so I'd say just move on. The next time she invites you somewhere, tell her you aren't interested in repeating the SC trip and tell her exactly why.

[okeeg]

dude I feel you...honestly I feel like slap them!lol...im on a similar situation rite now...Why they have to go on like this mien!...Dude the only thing that I can tell you is that loves you but guess she is afraid..dont know why...GIRLS GIRLS!