He says he loves us both and doesnt know who he wants

[nikic123]

Hello guys, I am new to this and hoping that I can find some friends that I can really talk to because I dont have many ppl around me that i can confide in.

I have been seeing this guy for around 4 months now, things are great, without going on about it but I had a terrible relationship that ended last year and this guy Joe, is the first guy since my ex that I have dropped my guard with and let in without being defensive. Joe is the kinda guy that when ever i am with him we make each other laugh until we cry, we click on every level possible. Apart from one small problem which has only jusy come to my attention.

Joe in the four months I have known him has never tlaked about his past relationships, i thought it was a bit strange but just wrote it off as the fact that maybe he is one of these guys he cant talk about them or maybe that havent been anything that important for him to feel he needs to talk about. So anyway I found out 2 weeks back that he had a girlfriend of four years, who he only split with back in March time. I heard this off a friend which made me feel like a bit of a fool etc but it also explained why sometimes Joe would go quiet and bit distant.

On xmas eve one of my friends called me whose dad works with Joe and told me how last night Joe had taken his ex girlfriend to his xmas work party! Ultimately I was a bit upset about the whole thing! But being the kind of person I am I just thought i would leave it, i didnt want to ruin my xmas and just was guna talk to him as and when. He sent me a text msg later that night wishin me a happy xmas and after i had had a few drinks I responded just saying please leave me alone, i dont need this after everything. The conversation went on over text him saying how he just didnt know what he wanted and how he has done what he has because he thinks i am amazing and doesnt want anyone else to have me (nice of him that lol). The messages then turned to I fell in love with you after a few weeks of knowing you and thats the main thing, i do love you more than anything. I was shocked by this but stood my ground and just said he needed to decided what he wanted because i wasnt going to be strung along. I havent heard from him since............

I just dont know what to do, he is on my mind all the time. I havent slept for 2 days! I know i am probably being a mug by even contemplating that he is being genuine and that he wasnt thinking how much fun he was having havign two girls on the go. I just keep thinking, 4 years is a long time to be with someone and maybe he is confusing how he feels about her. I just want him in or out my head one way or the other and I dont know what to do or what to say to him, without pushing him to make a decision and pushing him away .............

xxx

[lesa]

I am sorry that you are going through this. It is completely unfair what he has done. I think leaving him alone so that he can clear his mind is a good thing. It doesn't sound like he is ready for a relationship (or at least a new one) and right now he is just a waste of your time.

[nikic123]

I am glad someone else has told me that because I just keep getting blinded by the way i feel for him. I shouldnt let him treat me like a mug, i just have to try to switch my feelings off and forget about him.

[Lite]

You need to just dump his ass. Look. Either he knows he wants to be in a relationship with you, or he isn't worth your time or emotions.

[Gigabitch]

If he's not ALL yours, then he isn't yours. Walk away.